Ex said she is claiming CSA money out of spite

June 20, 2012

Since my wife and I split up I paid money to her in cash and paid for all of my sons clothes and daily needs at her request. She then got a new boyfriend about the same time as I got a new girlfriend. Her boyfriend is a millionaire and pays for everything for her BUT he is MY son so I continued to pay.

Last year she prevented me from seeing him for no reason, I took her to court to gain access to my son and after six months not seeing him I won easily in court with the judge describing her as ‘appalling’. However during that period I refused to pay her any money as she told me that the money I have been paying her she has been using for holidays and going out.

When the court case was finished I immedietly started paying her again until the CSA got in touch rescently stating I owe over £4.5k a month in unpaid child support for last year. She is refusing to acknowledge the money I paid her and has verbally said she is doing it to me out of spite and I, being a mug, have no proof other than the last four months where I paid via bank transfer.

The CSA have been woefully unhelpful and I was rescently called ‘irrisponsible father’ for not paying.

They want well beyond my means of what I can pay and are even refusing to acknowledge that I have another son with my girlfriend whom I pay for as we are in a relationship (although don’t live with each other) and I dont pay for him through the CSA.

Can anyone help with this? OR can any of the women above justify this to me?

Man on a ledge here…


  • Alice says:

    Unfortunatly you should have kept paying the CM even when your ex had stopped contact with your son.For every payment you did make why didnt you make it through a bank.No one in their right mind would walk into a bank pay money in ,and then walk out with no proof of payment.(this is madness).Anyway whats done is done,the PWC can do whatever she wants with the money the NRP pays her,it is not up to you what she spends it on be it holidays or nights out.I feel that the money the PWC gets for the children,should be spent on the children but thats a different story.If you are paying for your 2nd child without proof again go through the CSA ,you are doing it again by paying her cash in hand as well.You have to get proof for your all payments,you are not living together and you could very well go down the same road again if your not careful.Secondly your 1st ex wont get as much CM if you are paying for a 2nd child on a CS claim.I can not help you on the arrears but my advice now is get receipts off both mothers AND DO NOT pay any more money in cash.

  • chall says:

    Quote Worthon; ‘However during that period I refused to pay her any money’…

    If the CSA are involved, whatever you fail to pay will accrue as arrears.

    It’s such a shame children end up being used as weapons between their parents :o(

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • lisa says:

    No offense but why should a man pay for a child that he has been spitefully stopped from seeing, this woman should be locked up for coming between her son and his father,
    CSA and access should go hand in hand, No access means no money simples

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