Ex refuses to let me see my daughter

April 19, 2011

in 2003 after 8 years of marriage we were at home on a sunday evening and my wife out of the blue says i dont love you anymore and want you to go. i asked why several times but got no answer. so in following week i left things were ok to start with i was allowed by my ex to see my daughter once a week.

Then in Jan for some reason my wife said that my daughter did not want to see me anymore this was because my ex had made up some story to poison my daughters mind into thinking i was someone evil when really it was because my ex wife was seeing someone else and did not want my daughter telling me about this. at this time my daughter was 6 years old.

My daughter is now 12 years old and i have not seen her for 6 years. i went through all the court procedures until in the end i had to give up because of the expense of solicitors and court costs not to mention all the backpay i owed the csa and even now i pay £50 a week and get no contact verbally or written. the pain will not go away of not being able to see your only child and i keep trying to contact her but get no reply some weeks ago i found her on facebook and sent a message but got no reply and now she has blocked her facebbok page all because of my ex wife turning my daughter against me. although i am now re-married my chance to have another child has gone due to my age and my current wife having breast cancer.

I love my daughter with all my heart and the heartache is more than i can bare. knowing my current wife who loves me and looks after me is the only thing that keeps me sane. i can only be grateful for the fact i had at least the first 6 years with my daughter which were the best of my life i doted on her and no other father could have loved a child like i did and still do.i can only hope and pray that one day she might want to talk to me again but that seems very distant due to my ex wife being so bitchy she can’t let the past go and let bygones be bygones and she does not understand that a child needs the love and support of both parents all love for your children should be equal but i am denied showing my love to my daughter due to my self centered ex wife.

I struggle each week to make ends meet having to pay my maintenence which i don,t begrudge paying if i could have at least some parental rights especially when my ex wife is the director of a company who lives in a £300,000 house and drives a top of the range bmw there is no justice in this world for fathers rights and my only regret is that this will go to the grave with me one day.

But until then i still live in hope because thats all i have. i only hope that we can all learn from our mistakes and hope our children when there older don,t find themselves in a similar situation.


11 Responses to “Ex refuses to let me see my daughter”

  1. Mike on April 19th, 2011 11:29 am


    I’ve just read that and am totally shocked by what you must be going through. My situation isn’t as bad because I do at least see my 2 wonderful kids every other weekend, and (recently having fought for it), seeing them in the week sometimes too (swimming, football, etc). However, it’s been 5 years getting to this stage.

    All I hope for you Steve is that when your daughter is old enough to understand properly – which won’t be long, there’ll be a knock at the door, and it will be her wanting to know the story from your point of view. I genuinely believe in that.

    So hang in there, and although you’ve missed a chunk of your daughters life, just think of the all the possible future times you’ll have with her.

    Ex wife’s really are the nastiest species on Earth.

    Keep in touch with your daughter by whatever means you can, and NEVER give up.

    All the best,


  2. KMcQ79 on April 20th, 2011 7:44 am

    Best of luck Steve,you are not alone!
    We forever read about how mothers are abused by fathers etc,but very really hear. This side of the story which is a lot more common than most people,especially politicians,believe.
    Remember one day your children will be adults and able to draw opinions of their mother and father.
    Ensure they will have a positive opinion of you!

  3. Kellianne Birchler on May 4th, 2011 1:34 pm

    I feel the pain- My ex walked out on his family for a chick he met online… and now 11 years later he is still calling me the Whore- speaking bad about me to the children saying I am unfit…
    Everything that I tried to do good for my daughter he has tried to ruin… Dance , Cheerleading team… he is the most evil son of bitch- and he has screwed up our children for his own needs.
    I remarried and he tried everything to make my new husband look evil- but my new husband was just tired of all the legal fees.. we have spent well over 25,000 dollars in legal fees fighting for my daughter, Last year he convinced her to go live with him,… I have joint now and I never see her… everytime I call he say’s she thinks your a terrible Mom- stay away!!! My new husband say’s no more legal fees let her go…. My heart is broken… I think of her everyday… I wanted to be there for her always. I just pray and pray- I even pray for him that his evil ways will go away. I just don’t understand how the court system could even let him have her when it’s documented he walked out on his family… we were starving. I just don’t get it!!!!

  4. Lisa on June 21st, 2011 4:43 am

    Wow! I can’t believe so many are going through the same thing as me and my husband! My husband has 6 kids by 2 mothers and he only gets to see 1 of them (we have custody of her). These women just don’t understand how much they are damaging the kids. The funny part is that everything was fine when we were living together, all the kids would visit every other weekend. Once we announced that we were getting married, all hell broke loose. Baby mama #1 who is married and has custody of 2 of the 4 kids refused to let the kids come to the wedding and then refused to allow visitation and has turned them against their dad. It certainly seems like a jealousy thing to me. Baby mama #2 that he was stupid enough to marry is only concerned about money and also turned the kids against their dad. Both of them proclaim to be the Worlds Best Moms yet #1 lost custody of the 4 kids when they were babies and my husband raised them until the youngest was 8 and she got married so my husband said they could try letting her have custody of 2 of the kids and see how she handles it. Well she handled it alright…she moved away with them and my husband gets no visitation at all. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that when she left, she didn’t bother to tell her daughter goodbye (she was finishing out the school year at Grandma’s before moving in with us) Yep, she just up and moved away without letting his daughter say goodbye to her siblings or anything! And now she is threatening to call the FBI and report my husband for kidnapping her! My husband is her custodial parent and her mother moved from Indiana to Florida without even saying goodbye! Mother of the year huh? So why should we let this person communicate with the daughter that she has already done irreparable mental damage to? The daughter that she left behind and only calls 3 times a year…Easter, Christmas and her birthday. That’s not a mother. I am much more of a mother to her.
    My heart aches for you. I know exactly how you feel. But, I agree with everyone else, the kids will grow up and have questions and you will have answers. They will see these demons for what they are. Justice will come and you will have a relationship with your daughter again! Keep the faith, I know it’s hard.

  5. paul higgins on June 30th, 2011 8:46 pm

    Im glad im not the only one me and my ex partner broke up after a 2 and half year relashionship. we had a little girl called isabella. after she had isabella she got violent towards me and one day she hit me in front of my daughter i never hit back i was brought up never to hit women. Any way this really up set isabella i could nt take much more . I had to go for isabella sake i was not fair on her. after i left my ex was sleeping with someone after a week just show how much i ment to her . i moved back to croydon where i kept in contact with my ex and begged her for me to see isabella but she didnt wont me to. shes now changed her number and moved away i dont now where my daughter is i havent seen her scince december everybodys telling me to do differnt things but i dont know what to do and guys i hope you get to see you sons and daughters soon its so hard

  6. Jenny on October 29th, 2011 6:39 am

    My boyfriend has an evil ex and a13 yr old daughter…me and him have been together for only three years…but this ex of his has been an evil psycho for over a decade…punching herself to get a domestic violence injunction (failed, thank god) and making her daughter lie about abuse in order to have the department of children and families come investigate our home multiple times. My boyfriend loves his daughter so much and is heartbroken that his 13 yr old has been turned against him. what kind of a mother would do purposely screw up her daughters mind to the point of trying to get him arrested for abuse…he is the most loving person I have ever known and this is breaking his heart….it’s breaking my heart to see him so distraught….why do such bad things happen to good people. Im so sad over this.

  7. mike on July 16th, 2012 5:05 pm

    my parnter walk out with my baby daughter of 16 months she drinks a bottle of wine and cider every night she is cabin crew for ba and is dew to go back to work in 2 weeks we live up north and she has went to friend down south she will not tell me were she is nor will the police god nows what storys she has been sayin no one will listen to me i just want my daugter home x

  8. Ian on August 22nd, 2012 2:07 pm

    Its a sure fact that,when you split with you’re ex and you get your divorce papers come through. DON’T SIGN ANYTHING WITH YOUR CHILDREN’S NAMES ON IT! i did and now the animal wont let me see my daughter.after all its just a divorce they want so give that and NOTHING else!

  9. david johnstone on February 14th, 2015 11:07 am

    Hi I feel for you. It’s a massive problem. I haven’t seen my daughter for 3 years as my ex won’t let me. I used to have her and her brother and sister who aren’t mine every weekend. Then one day my ex stopped me seeing her because I couldn’t get time off work for an appointment for my dauggter. I too am struggling financially thanks to the csa and can’t even think about going to court. People in our position will just have to wait until our children come to us because we don’t have any other options. It’s disgusting we and our children should ever be put in this position

  10. Jan on March 8th, 2017 11:26 am

    Unfortunately this happens way too often. Kids need both parents unless valid reasons why both or one are no good for them.

  11. Jan on March 8th, 2017 11:26 am

    Unfortunately this happens way too often. Kids need both parents unless valid reasons why both or one are no good for them.

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