Ex lives with new boyfriend so where does my CSA money go?

November 2, 2011

I am divorce with 2 sons with my ex-wife, she got the child benefit, child tax credit plus I am also giving her child maintenance aside from that she got our house. I am having the boys 15 days/month. When the boys are with me, I give them everything they want. I am still paying the mortgage for the house.

I am not sure if all that money goes to my children as my ex-wife has another child & step children from her boyfriend who is living with her at the moment.

I am asking for an advice if I could keep the money that I used to give her to support my children as when I have the boys with me I can spend it to them, at least I know that the child maintenance coming from me I am sure that it goes to my children and not to others.

As I have a feedback from my children that they seldom go out. They only can eat out when they are with me.
Can you give me some advice with this matter please?

Really appreciate of hearing from you soon.

I am thinking if I keep the child maintenance & I will spend it when I have the boys with me


  • Bob says:

    Unfortunately Jason, its just tough.

    As you have shared care of your sons, how old are they? If they are 11/12 then they would be pretty much old enough to decide who they want to live with.

    Like you say, if you have residency of the boys, she has to pay you, plus you have all benefits and most importantly you can guarantee where the money goes. Oh also you could stop paying the mortgage on the house under the provision you are now the carer of your boys.

  • natalaie says:

    I am sorry to say but they will still ask you to pay child maintenace even so u not sure where the money goes. But you can apply for the variation as you pay a morgage on the house where your ex lives.
    Nrp parents may be eligible for a variation
    -if they make payment towaards a morgage or loan for the purchase of, or repairs or improvments to the home which they and the pwc used to share
    – and the pwc still lives there with a child
    – they have no interes (legal or equitable) in it or charge over it
    – they have no other legal liability to make those payments
    Payments of this kind are subject to the special expenses threshold. If the decision maker decides thet expenses are unreasonably high or unreasonably incurred they may allow a lowwer amount.

  • KMcQ80 says:

    I think the legal age when children can decide who they want to live with is 14, but check.
    Maybe you should aim for this Jason.
    It appears your children could be better parented with you.

  • Bob says:

    It depends on the child however 12 is considered allowed KMcQ80.

  • leanne jones says:

    Your money going to provide for ur children

  • Claire says:

    men are idiots

  • Terry says:

    @leanne Jones and Claire.
    First Claire. Do you want to eleberate on your comment? Why are men idiots?
    Now Leanne. I pay my ex £100 a week even though the current system says i should only be paying £55. Im stuck on the old system.
    My ex is now walking round in new clothes and buying new furniture for the house and paying for a decorator to go into the house.
    My daughter asked for a new top for aa dance presentation and my ex told her she cant afford to be buying her new clothes for every presentation. There are 3 presentations a year. If she cant get a new top or dress for these then where is the money going besides on the ex? My daughter went on holiday for a week to see her auntie an the ex stayed at home. She complained that she had to send £50 with our daughter for the week. Well if i give £100 a week for our daughter what did she use the other £50 for?

  • Leanne jones says:

    Im sure ur ex wife spends loads on her get a grip

  • Robert Carlton says:

    Unfortunately times have changed in the past few decades. No longer do we have dignified, resilient women in this country. What we have now is avaricious, petty minded, embittered, disloyal women who are the disgrace of our generation and age. Advice- do not get involved with British women- they have nothing to contribute to anybody except themselves

  • JP says:

    One way or another the money is going to benefit your children. Why are you complaining and why are you still paying the full mortgage?

  • LIam Turner says:

    When i was growing up i never received a penny from child support from my estranged father because my mother used to take it straight to the pub. i was forced to work at the age of 16 just to keep a roof over our heads.
    I left my girlfriend of 6 months when i was 17 and 1 year later i start getting money deducted from my wages. I’m paying for a child that i i haven’t even seen because she dissappeared. I later found out that she had purposely missed her injection. I Work 11 hours a day, her dad owns a successful business to which she is a silent partner. She has never worked a day in her life. She now has a family and i have my own but i’m still paying them. For the last 5 years I have had trouble sleeping, anxiety, depression and had to attend 6 weeks of therapy to fix it. It doesn’t make sense for me to even work anymore. It’s like my whole life was taken away from me before it had even started.

  • Mick says:

    PWC would soon start whingeing if they were to be made accountable asto where every penny of their maintenance was spent every year. having to provide receipts etc then forced to repay back what they havent spent actually on the child the money is meant for. Or lets say the following year what was unaccounted for was reduced from their money in the following years payments.

  • leigh says:

    Omg are you for real mick not every woman spends it in the pub!

  • Mick says:

    No Leigh, i agree. Just fags and Mecca bingo halls in my exes case. lol

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