Ex is always on holiday yet tells CSA he has no money

July 10, 2011

After reading a few of these comments it becomes clear that most of the men paying maintenance for their children are very bitter about it. They seem to believ that as a single mother you have no right to any quality of life. Have they any idea how difficult it is to look after children full time, giving up your ability to work full time, therefore preventing you from earning a decent wage unless you have a very well paid job. The cost of child care alone is massive. This should be taken into account when working out maintenance.

My ex who I have one daughter with is a self employed heating and plumbing engineer.. He has at least 3 holidays a year, spends a lot of time out and sometimes has my daughter babysat on his weekends with her so that he can go out. (he has her every other wkend). He has told me that his books do not show his full earnings, which is obvious, how many plumbers that work 50hrs a week take home less than £300 a week (in surrey). Its a joke. He has been ordered to pay £120 per month for his 11 year old daughter. This is because the CSA can only go with what his books say…

THis money I get as and when he wants to give it to me throughout the month which is usually late in the month. How am I supposed to work full time, pay child care, have all the school holidays off and run my daughter around under these circumstances. Maintenance should be about a percentage of rent, light, heat, food, water, travel expenses, clothes and childcare.

And if that parent is unable to work because the cost of childcare is too high, then the absent parents need to take this into consideration before they resent helping financially with the children they helped put into this world!!!


  • Vic says:

    Personal rs

  • Karl Garrett says:

    quite happy to pay..it’s just way, way too much to the point of putting the NRP into poverty. so may as well give up & die.

  • Terry says:

    I dont mind paying towards my daughter but i think it is wrong that just because i am on CS1 rules i have to pay £100 a week when some one with the exact same money as me but on CS2 would only have to pay £55.
    Also suddenly my ex is now walking around in alot of new clothes. She is also talking about the new furniture she has got and given away her old stuff. And now bringing in some one to decorate the house for her. I thought the money was for my daughter. She is now asking me for halft towards a laptop for our daughter for her school work.

  • karen bedford says:

    please all join the facebook groups (child support agencies failings and others) for free advice and support from other who have gone through similar probs too, like me! Hopefully will help as I have been campaigning for years to get this ‘system’ changed and will continue even though my case has been ‘closed’ because I want justice.

  • Terry norris says:

    Let’s put this into perspective,my ex is not single mother,she has a partner that lives with her and works,she claims every benefit under the sun and probably lies about him being there and bringing an income into the house.They have just moved to a private rent which I am subsidising,I know full well….it ain’t rocket science,that the money the csa takes from me and gives to her is not all spent on my daughter.I never see my daughter,my ex won’t even give me her address so I can send her a birthday card,she uses the system to suit her ie,she will never give me regular visits at wk ends because she wouldnt get so much money from me.The system is not geared to work in anyway at all towards the NRP…these mothers exploit the system to drain as much money as poss from the fathers because they can…it’s easy money to them…it’s about fainess and if that’s calling us bitter then so be it.
    The csa stinks,it’s run by a load of morons who have no idea about what’s right and what’s wrong because if they did? They would have left this shithole called the CSA years ago

  • pete renfree says:

    although i simpathise with women who have fallen foul to unscrupulous men who dont give a shite about their children it isnt “most men” that dont like paying for their child……..Its most men dont like the fact they may have escaped a desperately shite relationship were they spent years being manipulated and mentally tortured by their over baring wife who took pleasure in using their children as weapons. Then to find out she had been sleeping with the neighbour whilst i was at work “in ther bed i payed for” in the house i payed for” and then when divorce came proceeded to claim EVERY benefit possible whilst nailing me to the wall financially with that shower of shite……The CSA.
    I do appologise if i sound slightly bitter but unfortunatelly it aint always as black and white as “most men dont want to pay for therir children”.
    The Law in this fair country is not a fair system to either men or women. neither is it standardised to give fairness to both sexes allowing moneys to paid for maintainance in a fair manner and not as a punishment for not accepting the fact your wife/husband enjoy’s sharing their “LOVE” with others whilst married.

  • John says:

    It was our relationship. It was our marriage. They are our children!

    Not the governments children! Not the CSA’s children! OUR children!

    It is for parents to take financial responsibilty for their children, as well as supporting them through contact.

    It has nothing to do with politicians, civil servants or executives running their own ‘little club’!

    This divisive system, is a complete and utter shambles. Some paying too much, some not paying enough, and many not paying at all!

    It discriminates aginst the ones who do pay, and are repeatedly targeted, by the incompetent oafs, who run this ‘not fit for purpose’ quango!

    Lets get the CSA into the european courts, get them closed down, and get ALL their victims their money back!

  • justine says:

    My ex has admitted to me that his books do not show his correct earnings..He is a self employed, VAT registered plumbing and heating engineer who rents out his house in Surrey and has just bought a £4 00,000 house in Hertfordshire with his wife. He has already had 2 holidays this year without taking our daughter, he refused to put a direct debit in order, he constantly has other plans on his apparent weekends with our daughter and because he lies about his earnings saying he earns uner £300 per wk, I have no leg to stand on with the CSA as they have to use his apparent earnings….how many heating engineers earn £300 per wk, in surrey??? Non… A solicitor told me that because of the CSA there is no point in trying to sort out an agreement through the courts as it would probably be a waste of money as they can no longer get a court order for maintenance payments…My life is a constant nightmare because of this mans lack of commitment to providing support financially for our daughter as well as being there to spend time with her every other weekend…

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