Ex has property all over the country and I get paid peanuts
My childrens father and I were never married. By the time we seperated in 2001 he was earning around 400k per yr. As we were never married, this was financially devastating for my daughters and myself, not though for their father. I was pushed into agreeing to a figure of 250 pounds per wk child support via a solicitor.
As my children were only 1 and 3 yrs at the time, I was desperate for normality and agreed. I trained as a teacher in the meantime and began full time work in 2006. For a short period we were actually able to enjoy short holidays and I upgraded my 11 yr old car to a 3 yr old version in 2008. With my then income of 22k per yr, for the first time we were comfortable.
The child support remained in place until April2008 when my childrens father announced he was now married and his new wife was pregnant. He dropped his payments to 100 pounds per wk, while still earning the same amount of money (this is unproven other than to say his lifestyle remains very affluent if not more so) I went to the CSA and after a great deal of time and effort with variations and appeals and an appeal in court, I was awarded 125pounds per wk. This was a soul destroying process where I was constantly told the investigations must come from me! Am I an accountant? Isnt this the job of the CSA?
He is now married with a second baby on the way and I know my income will be cut again when this new baby is born.
My childrens father has many properties in this country which he rents out as well as a holiday villa in Spain, where he has just enjoyed an 8 wk break. He has a motor home and a 700k home.
According to the CSA his income after stoppages is around 550pounds per wk. This is outragous, as he is only then around 200per wk better off than me, yet I struggle to pay a 130k mortgage on a 30k salary. I drive a second hand car, which may now have to be sold as I have had my hours reduced and will shortly earn 20% less than now.
He is clearly diverting his income. albeit legally I am sure. Meanwhile I am broke and frustrated especially as this chap appears to get all of his rights, but wants none of the responsibilty.
I am well aware that I am a single parent and luckier than most, however my daughters should not be in this financial shortfall when their daddy is so wealthy. He contributes no extra toward uniforms or school trips and belittles items such as our 7 yr old PC, yet anything he does buy the girls MUST be kept at his house as he will not allow it to come home. He has access to his daughters 3 nights per fortnight, which HE originally changed from 4 per fortnight. He also diasappears for weeks at a time on holiday, without so much as a consultation, so has them less than he should.
I feel after reading this article that mothers are demonised for expecting help with child support. I have no reason to prevent my children accessing their fathers time, quite the opposite. I simply wish my daughters were able to enjoy a little more of the benefits their half sisters have.
Single mothers are treated shabbily in this country, yet surely it is absent fathers who should be demonised, if they are not doing their utmost to give the best to their children. The tax system not only encourages poor behaviour of self employed absent fathers, it activeley encourages it
10 thoughts on “Ex has property all over the country and I get paid peanuts”
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Single mothers are treated shabbily in this country………..Never heard such rubbish,you don’t know how lucky you are woman!!
Lets face it,what your after is a slice of your ex’s financial success!!
maybe he should contribute more to his childrens upbringing but not to the standard of your lifestyle.
WOW I agree with Tom your comment Single Mothers are treated shabbily in this country…..what a load of rubbish. I have seen my poor ex partner (NRP) been pulled apart and loosing everything so believe me you are lucky.
Your story was all to do with money and how well your ex is doing. Move on woman and leave him alone with his new wife.
I split up with my ex husband 9 years ago and I never ever went after him for 1p. Futher more what he earns now and what he has, has nothing to do with me, he worked damn hard for what he has and I wouldnt dream of going after him like you for money. My Son got everything he wanted from me. My ex husband has a new partner and what they have together is nothing to do with me!!!!!!!!
Also my ex partner had nothing when he was with his ex wife as she took all his money and sat on her backside. He worked around the clock to keep the roof over her and the childrens heads. When he left her it was me who had the big house in Spain, the sports car, the 4 holidays a year and naturally I treated him to what I had but his selfish ex wife could not get to grips with this and wanted what was mine! It was mine before I met him and some women like you presume its their ex husbands who have suddenly got all this money and houses etc.
Get on with your life and stop thinking about what you and your children should have if he gave you more money. Surley you should be happy that you and your children are healthy and you have a roof over your head because alot of men and woman on the website dont even have a home after these CSA people get involved.
Kathryn,
Read the story ‘Left in poverty by the CSA’ 6/9/11.
Now realise how lucky you are, this poor man lost everything and you are frustrated because your children dont have the same benefits as their half sister.
Lyn, what a wise woman you are, well done and thank you for your comments.
my god woman you are getting over £100 a week in maintenance it does Not cost that much a week to bring up kids modestly stop being so bloody greedy. your ex is not obliged to maintain your lifestyle he pays more than enough to help support the children maybe you should budget a bit better
I agree with you Tom
Yes indeed,get on with your life woman and stop winching about your ex and what his new kids get,why should he have to maintain you so much when he has a new family,good luck to him and his wealth and the way he handles these piss pot idiots called the CSA….god knows I would do the same.The fact is the CSA works in favour of a lot of you single greedy mothers who just see their kids as a cash machine. Soooo many honest hard working fathers are having their lives destroyed by ex’s and the f*****ing CSA.my ex who walked out of my life after just 9 months married for a german she never met,only ever took her clothes of to on the Internet.she left him and moved back to uk where I was having some kind of relationship again with my daughter,then she went back to him and abandoned the children for 5 months,her parents vowed that they would never let her take my daughter back after what she had done,then she visits uk and takes her out the country with her parents blessing….and if that ain’t bad enough…the bitch files a claim aginst me with the CSA. I get rewarded for her outrageous antics with being forced to pay the bitch £320 a month for a daughter I never see.I know the money ain’t spent on my daughter,well maybe a small percent of it ??? She uses my daughter as the cash card and me as the cash machine to fund their lifestyle.what makes my blood boil is I don’t have any say on how my money is spent on my daughter or even question if it is indeed even being spent on her.it’s so wrong and unfair.why the hell is it not my RIGHT to insist on seeing prove of how and where my money forcibly taken from me is being spent?
No the CSA works 75% in favour of the mothers who know how to work an easy and corrupt system.
You have the family life you wanted and you want him to pay for it. Greed!
You lot need to stop being so single minded and think that it takes two to have the child and two should support it, and children are not cheap! get over being greedy and selfish and realise you should be supporting your children! Dont have more kids if you dont support the ones you already have!
Karen, I agree that if you have a child you should pay to ensure that they are fed, clothed etc, its the responsibility of both parents. However I do think that some people are very blinkered when it comes to this issue. There are some terrible fathers out there but equally there are terrible mothers out there too who use their kids as weapons. My husband gave the house he and his ex bought together to her BEFORE the divorce to ensure his children had a roof over their head. He walked away from 10 years with nothing other than his clothes but had no issue with this as again it was for his kids. She would not help him by meeting halfway when it was his weekend with the children despite the fact he lived 2 hours away. Now 10 years on he and I have a daughter and the CSA take into account our daughters child benefit and share it with the remaing youngest daughter. His ex still has no income they take into account because she gets tax credits, she is not in work as she has had another child so due to her reduced income following her having a baby we have to pay more because of her taxcredit situation. Our bills have started bouncing and I have actually been told that the CSA comes before our rent, food or council tax. Peoples money situations change continuously and why should someone not be able to have a 2nd chance at family when in some cases they have had no chance to be the Dads they could be. Women have far too many rights over children and seem to forget that children are not objects and deserve for Dads to be as involved. Dads are not always in the wrong.
wow you sound like my husbands ex he pays her 100 per week and he hasnt even got a permanent job, when hes off i have to pay it, we are absoloutly skint. You sound really ungrateful 100 per week per child is a lot and my husband and i break our backs to pay her that, why dont you just get on with your life be grateful for what you have and stop being jealous I know they are tough words, but you just sound like yet another woman that wants a piece of your exes success, you have kids with him yes, but hes giving you a more than adequate amount each week for them your just envious of his other children or at least thats what it sounds like to me :/