Ex cheated on on me and is now bleeding me dry

July 1, 2012

I started back at work november after getting laid off and supplied for my kids with things they need. My ex had an affair and is still with the idiot now, she took me to csa and they say because i have no backup of what i bought i have to pay arrears.

I have 2 step kids and a baby due july 2nd and they are going to take £507 pcm when on a basic i take home £1300 but they took overtime into it untill march because of after christmas mad rush.

I think its wrong how she caused the break up and now bleeding me dry she should declare her new feller at her home as she is screwing everyone for money as she pisses it up every week while me and my new family are scraping through thinking what we could do csa stands for CAN’T SAVE ANYTHING.


  • chall says:


    I hope your baby and OH are well.

    CSA becomes payable after the agency has made contact with the non resident parent.

    If you have other children living in your household you should, on the present rules. receive a reduction.

    How many children are you liable to pay CSA for?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • Terry norris says:

    Your thoughts and feelings mirror my own Adam
    First of all it’s disgusting and just plain down right unfair the the csa base it’s assessment to pay on net income and totally do not give a damm about ones outgoings…ie bills,mortgage, car,debt’s ,this last one in particular as in my case…DEBT…brought about as a direct result of me building a home and buying the ex a car,wedding cost,honeymoon,rings,…etc etc…and then she just walks away after just 9 months of being married and leaves me to carry on as normal and pay off the debt,and to kick me in the teeth when you down…the bitch involves the csa…WHO….despite my plees to pay a smaller amount because hey…lol…I need to live as well…they think it’s fair that she screws me over..and leaves me to clear up the debt and pay her £320 a month on top …oh I forgot to tell you…the csa also use my car allowance in their greedy lust for robbing hard working fathers of money…a car allowance which is provided for me to have a car and run it etc to get me to work to do my job…totally unfair but do they give a shit…NO…..I wander if they actually know why they are hated so much ???? But then….do they care? Noooooooo.
    And yes my ex lives with the idiot she left me for and is probably declaring herself as a single mother whilst he’s also bringing in the cash for the table on top of what the csa rob from me…lol….I try and keep my own house in order and head above the water line and the same time subsidising their household…fucking rich ain’t it….and the csa can’t see why this system is soooo unfair and unjust and 9 times out of 10 biased towards to PWC normally the mother…us dads are branded as criminals as soon as the csa get their claws into us…I, like many dads have a financial prison sentence for years now and all because the greedy money minded bitch of an ex went to theses vultures instead of calling me and us discussing our daughters financial arrangements our selfs. The csa only drive parents apart when they stick their ore in. And so Adam I truly sympathise with you and 100% on your wave length with your ex and these idiots called the csa….good luck

  • John says:

    Terry is right, as soon as you become involved with this shower, you are criminalised as a parent. What example does that set to children of a certain age who understand what is happening, and the CSA cause more problems between parents thatn they resolve, but they don’t care about that. they only care about the precious pot that they say belongs to the secretary of state!

    Not once have I had any voluntary update from the CSA on benefits being claimed by the PWC. For all I know I could be paying way over the odds or perhaps shouldn’t be paying at all! They call you customers and treat you like inmates.

    £3.7 billion remains incollected. There are people over-paying, people under-paying and people not paying at all. How is this fair?

    There are people paying on three different systems. CSA 1, CSA 2 and CSA 3. This has to be discriminatory, and is probably a breach Human rights law.

    What happens between parents and their children is for them to sort out in the courts, and not with a bunch of incompetent pen-pushers and Politiical puppets!

    Let’s see how the establishment like it, when they come asking for my help in the future and it is NOT forthcoming!

  • brett says:

    Agree with everything you say John, except inmates are treated a lot better than people like you and me trapped in the CSA bubble.

  • michael says:

    yeah i understand mate i am in a major problem myself. i came home from a two week stint offshore and she said she didnt want my daughter anymore but the cheeky cow was still claming the cash. and what help do i get from the csa now everything is sorted through the courts none! after they requested proof of recidency from the court that my daughter stays with me they still say i am not entitled to a refund and also that they will not claim from her as she is stuck on benifits with a new born she had with a guy after me yet i am out grafting my ass paying bills and no financal help from her. they need to get a new system in place because to be fair its a one sided battle.

  • Lee Prescott says:

    Equal rights, don’t make me laugh……. First the woman is classed as the main parent, second the father is not given 50/50 access as a starting point, third your treated like a criminal because your relationship with you ex feel down, but in the eyes of the law the father is by default at fault !!!

    Equal rights? Show me how !! I love my children and I am not given the same rights as a father !

  • >