Even though I pay maintenance, ex won’t let me see my son

April 4, 2017

I am writing as I have a son age 10 living with me as I have custardy and another son who’s 6 but I haven’t seen him since he was 1 but I have been paying £40.00 per week for since I have tries/asked to see him but my ex will not let me see him. so after another row she told me to stop paying a week ago , but she has rung today demanding money , I’m still not aloud to see him ! where do I stand on payments do I stop paying or keep paying even though I would love to see my son.


  • Peter Anderson says:

    So what are you doing about it? For five years you say you haven’t been allowed to see him. Have you made an application to Court for contact? Have you got yourself involved at his school and seen him there? Go to Fathers4Justice UK Support and Advice on Facebook or visit you local branch of Families Need Fathers http://www.fnf.org.uk. But do something about having contact

  • Mother of child abandoned by father says:

    The money you pay to the CSA is for your child so you need to continue to pay this. If you are or do go the court route to get access to your child, the court will not want to take you seriously if you have stopped paying the small amount to support your child’s up bringing.

  • Mother of child abandoned by father says:

    I’ve been fighting with the CSA for 9 years now. My ex owes a small fortune in unpaid child support, our son is now a teenager constantly growing out of shoes and clothes. I’ve been forced into debt, I do not want to have to contact all my creditors and say “sorry can’t pay off the debts” I like to pay back money I owe, but of course 9 years without child support has left me with a lot of debt. I work 2 jobs, so do more than full time hours, don’t go out, not had a boyfriend now for many years as I can’t even afford a drink in a bar. The CSA are now at a point where they can get to all the money my ex owes to date, yet they haven’t bothered because they claim he has extenuating circumstances that they are considering and may not take money from him because of it. They won’t tell me what it is but honestly I’m more concerned about the poverty that they are pushing my son and I into. I need to pay the mortgage and everything else as well as putting every penny into raising our son. The CSA do not care about the children, they focus far too much on the wrong things. I’ve known male friends who pay for their children be destroyed by the CSA but yet men who are total scum who refuse to pay and even wish their child dead, well the CSA help the absent father to starve and destroy the child and mother of the child. The CSA are guilty of child abuse.
    They also just told me if I don’t pay £20 to start claiming through the CMS then the CSA won’t bother persuing the huge amount we are owed. I just want the money we are owed and then I had planned not to bother with the CMS because I can do without the stress and the money I’m owed could clear the debt and I can stretch it out up until a point when my child will have gone to Uni. The CSA however are now in my opinion ‘demanding money with menace’ by insisting I won’t see a penny unless I give the CMS £20 and even then I may not see a penny. If I sign up to CMS they will continue to rack up the debt in my ex name!

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