Don’t give up – ever!

Hello,

I am really amazed that I have only just stumbled upon your site, I didn’t realise such a place existed.

My belief is that the CSA should not exist in any manner shape or form some may agree others may not. I have found that with other such entities where the staff are protected by anonymity with no real prospect of ever being dragged from their chair by arresting officers they will do just about anything they please to those under their yoke, in my case lying in court, fudging figures, applying arrears where there were none etc. My story probably starts where most parents who leave the marital home for whatever reason starts, that was a hard choice I left my ex wife with the house a car and only the mortgage remaining as debt which wasn’t much. I took all our joint debts as mine because she could not get credit.I was paying via a verbal agreement with our solicitors to pay a certain amount a month, which I did, I felt lucky that I had my son every second weekend without fail but in the May Bank holiday of 2003 there was a five day discrepency and the banks did not pay on time. Her mortgage unbeknownst to me was granted on my maintenance payments being regular, (unethical or what?) she blamed me for that and for the payment she missed. I paid cash so she would have the money to pay by card, but what I didn’t count on was the fact she went to the CSA, they at first assessed me and discovered I was overpaying but decided not to let me know they just told me to keep paying as I had and that was that.I felt at the time I had neither lost nor gained just the visitations became more stressed, I am not certain but I think she expected them to say I should pay more. Anyway as life does it chucked me a curve ball and I ended up christmas 2003 not having the money to pay, I explain this to the CSA that I could be homeless as the rent had gone up as had the bills, I said they should take into consideration my overpayment which would at least cover three months at their assessment rate, how naive I hear you call, yes I was, I thought I was dealing with honest people. I very soon learnt the error of my ways. In protest I refused to pay all of my commitment I gave what I could reasonably afford and still have a roof. I was lucky if I had £60 quid to see the month out sometimes that was making me a nervous wreck and something had to give because the CSA now wanted the arrears and settled for a DEO, I had no idea what one was but the reality soon hit home. I could not even reason with her to reduce the amount volnutarily just to see me through the rough patch, so the only thing that could give did I defaulted on a loan to meet my commitment to my son so I could see him. For a long while I was a nervous wreck every knock at the door could be a bailiff. I was really depressed I had worked so hard for our home and I realised then although I had done the right thing by my son I should not have signed it over, I should have charged her rent for my half, but that wasn’t me. The CSA scared me and I never got any help when I phoned just more depressed. They have a thing called a variation I hoped would mean the value of the equity in the house could be set off against a proportion of my payments, which when I enquired they told me it was too late and I’d need a court order to get one. I was quite lost at that point. It was then that she came after my pension saying her money was not enough, a real black aspirin that was. I was enraged I went to her solicitors office and told him straight no threat just man to man that if he followed this course of action I would sue him because she already had the assets, all the fixtures fittings etc, and we’d modernised the house too.

I put all of my military gratuity into the house, you know as an investment etc he backed down at that point.

I was lucky that an old endowment policy came to light which enabled me to put a deposit on a house, it was a tip but hey! Beggars, well you know. The mortgage was less than my rent, I lived like cat weasel for a year managed to pay off the other debts we/I had by taking out a loan to refurbish the new place, I used it for both. I got a small pay rise which helped both me and her via a DfEO. Then our company got bought out and all of a sudden the payments stop, now I have to be honest I kept quiet because the CSA and my ex had really piffed me off by not giving me room to breath when I really needed it so for two months I said nothing, I get a letter because they know my address thanks to her, I leave it another week and then I answer, they send two agents to assess my circumstances and they create a new DfEO which is more than before, no surprise. Then the jackpot I got head hunted for a job with good pay. Yay!You’d think wouldn’t you? Nope,the CSA must be mind readers they send out asking for wage slips and then back date my arrears at this new salary to the two and a bit months I hadn’t paid and called it twelve months and hey presto four thousand pounds of arrears thank you very much! The mickey mouse calculator company must have been on top of the footsie 100 by that time. Well I have been fighting them ever since and every letter is dealt with as new complaint and not a continuance of the original. I have won in court and no pay back, surprised by that? Don’t be they have CCJ’s too you know. I have ridden the CSA office carousel, plymouth, Newcastle, Dudley, Portsmouth, London (Policy office)at least twenty different case handlers, and now finally I think I might be getting them on Fraud charges, let’s hope the court goes in my favour. I think the message here is don’t ever give up EVER!! They will fall. The key would be collective actions if enough people would be willing to join in.

Well love to you all and walk in the light always, and don’t hate them; because they are you, they just don’t know it yet.