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Hi David
From my experience, I am afraid that having the kids whilst they eat at your house but do not stay over does not count as an overnight stay. It is an absolutely crap rule as your ex will be happy for you to pay for their entertainment / meals all day but can still keep the ‘nights’ as they are with her.
For a couple of years I had this problem, then my son asked if he could stay over with me. At first my ex said no, he got resentful and angry with her (he was 11), then she relented. He is now 14 and is planning to be with me even more nights. The best thing is to do the things the kids really enjoy on those nights and hopefully your ex will see the kids enjoying themselves with Dad and agree for you to have them overnight more. It will also give her more time to herself – perhaps you can sell it to her that way as well. Good luck.