Do I have to pay CSA for a one night stand?

November 28, 2009

Some 2 years ago I had a very druken 1 night stand with a girl I had never met before, I woke up in the morning and she and my wallet was missing! I kicked myself for days about this and couldnt beleive I had been robbed by a girl that seemed to be nice (maybe a bit rough).

18 MONTHS later after completely forgetting about this druken mistake the csa contacted me at work to say I was a father and would have to pay for a child I knew nothing about!

I have taken the DNA test and the child is mine, I have no clue who the mother is apart from the name on the form they sent me. This girl must have been planning to get pregnent and took my wallet as a way of tracking me if she feel pregnent, how can this be allowed to happen? Why should I pay for a child that has been made simply so the mother can have a life on benefits?

I have just had to tell the women I am in a relationship with and it has broken her heart as we have just found out she has cancer……………

The CSA do not care that I am now struggling to pay our bills on my own and are demanding I pay £240 per month. I feel like ending my life but need to try and be strong for my partner.

Does anyone have a way out for me, I’m desprate………….

Comments

36 Responses to “Do I have to pay CSA for a one night stand?”

  1. ray on December 3rd, 2009 7:54 pm

    Hi,

    Almost exactly the same thing happened to me many years ago. It is important not to lose faith. The CSA was a bad idea open to abuse by this kind of woman.
    Give me a shout to find out how to live a normal happy life without worrying about her and the CSA.

    Cheers

    Ray

  2. Ian Harvey on October 6th, 2010 8:48 pm

    sorry but you have to

  3. alexislondon on May 14th, 2011 10:57 am

    We are trying to get csa for our daughter but we dont have the fathers date of birth and we believe he has left the country can we still claim with out date of birth and once he returns?

  4. mischach on December 3rd, 2011 3:10 pm

    When you say we and our, I am assuming you now have a new partner? Why not leave the poor guy alone.

  5. Lesley on January 23rd, 2012 2:16 pm

    Mr Brettell needs to face up to his responsibilities. He created a new life that night and that child is the injured party not Mr Brettell. It’s a basic human right to expect to know who fathered you regardless of the situation. Mr Brettell’s account of the situation is based on absolute lies so everyone can feel sorry for him. He knew about his son’s existance a whole year before the CSA caught up with him but he didn’t want to know as it would have disrupted his life too much. The mother however, soldiered on, grauated from university and, contrary to “living a life on benefits”, works full time bringing up the child on her own. If Mr Brettell had been more reasonable when he first was told about the child then the mother would never have contacted the CSA. This was NEVER NEVER about money – it was a way of getting Mr Brettell to wake up and act responsibly and ethically. It backfired obviously as he left the country within months of being contacted by the CSA and changed his name – what a coward.

  6. Joanna on February 2nd, 2012 12:28 pm

    I find it strange this lady apparently stole your wallet but no mention of going to the Police?

  7. Lesley on February 2nd, 2012 11:17 pm

    Yes Joanna, how strange Mr Brettell (now Weeks or maybe Brettell again!!) didn’t ring the police. That’s because he is an absolute lier. This lady and Mr Brettell corresponded by text the following day and she has the records to prove this. He actually went on holiday that day so it leaves me wondering how he did that without his wallet!!!! Men such as this have no respect whatsoever for women or the children they create. What sort of person can ignore the existance of a new life they were responsible for, regardless of the circumstances. Mr Brettell was very difficult to trace but he was made aware of his son’s existance as soon as possible and a whole year before the CSA caught up with him. He was described as one “friend” as the biggest bullshiter on the planet. The rather naive and unstreetwise young lady was just another triumph for this man who will always be regarded as the scum of the earth by everyone who knows the real truth about what happened on that unfortunate evening. The little boy he created is however very beautiful, very clever and loved with a passion inspite of his father.

  8. Lesley on April 23rd, 2012 8:04 pm

    Our current government, and Mr Cameron particularly, has little sympathy for men such as Mr Brettell. He may be feeling quite smug and complacent but such things don’t just go away. Justice will be done, maybe not today but one day …….

  9. Lesley on April 24th, 2012 11:24 pm

    I feel so sorry for Mr Brettell = poor thing. He fathers a child but doesn’t want to know. I say “leave him alone”! After all, he has to live with this for the rest of his life. It must be awful having to live with the thought that someone maybe one day will knock on his door and say “hello dad!!!” Hang on a minute, what about the innocent party in all of this – doesn’t he have any rights. Of course he does. And you know what, we hope and prayer that he doesn’t turn out like his father. It’s looking good so far fingers crossed ………..

  10. Lisa on February 9th, 2013 8:39 pm

    What a witch hunt, the woman should not be allowed to claim for a child created from a one night stand, what a slapper, she opened her legs knew she wasnt taking anything to stop herself getting pregnant but still had the child anyway, she should be bloody ashmed of herself, has the woman no pride, Her body her choice to have the child her responsibility financially and emotionally to bring it up end of,

  11. Lesley on February 14th, 2013 3:24 pm

    You poor girl Lisa or Olivia. You really have been brainwashed by this “bullshiter”. I feel so very sorry for you. Mr Weeks “story” is so fabricated and you of course believe him. I know it’s hard for people such as you to accept that there are girls out there who don’t sleep around. That unfortunate night with Mr Weeks was this girls VERY FIRST experience of sex and how dreadful it was for her. She did NOT consent and she was terrified out of her wits (again, hard for you to comprehend) but this girl was brought up to respect her body. Mr Weeks doesn’t know how lucky he is that the police haven’t been involved. This girl was naive beyond belief, just turned 19 years old and was unaware that she was pregnant or chose not to believe that such a thing could happen to her. You have no understanding of the traumatic time the whole family suffered – not just the mother but parents and grandparents too. How dare you decribe this as a witch hunt – but again we really couldn’t expect anything else from people like you. You are cold and callous and I feel so so sorry for you. Mr Weeks should hang his head in shame.

  12. Lesley on February 19th, 2013 10:21 pm

    Jamie Lee – yet another alias for Neil David Brettell or Neil David Weeks.

  13. j on February 19th, 2013 10:48 pm

    “Lesley on February 19th, 2013 10:21 pm

    Jamie Lee – yet another alias for Neil David Brettell or Neil David Weeks.”

    How do you know that then?

  14. j on February 20th, 2013 11:15 am

    “j on February 19th, 2013 10:48 pm

    “Lesley on February 19th, 2013 10:21 pm

    Jamie Lee – yet another alias for Neil David Brettell or Neil David Weeks.”

    How do you know that then?”

    Still no reply to my query then Lesley? Why is that?

    Regarding your comment – “Lesley on February 2nd, 2012 11:17 pm – Yes Joanna, how strange Mr Brettell (now Weeks or maybe Brettell again!!) didn’t ring the police. That’s because he is an absolute lier.” – you are right it is strange, but then again you later stated –

    “Lesley on February 14th, 2013 3:24 pm – That unfortunate night with Mr Weeks was this girls VERY FIRST experience of sex and how dreadful it was for her. She did NOT consent and she was terrified out of her wits (again, hard for you to comprehend) but this girl was brought up to respect her body. Mr Weeks doesn’t know how lucky he is that the police haven’t been involved.” –

    Isnt it also strange if she was ‘such a victim’ that she didnt go to the police?

    By the way Lesley the word is LIAR and I think I will take your input into this debate with just a little pinch of salt!

    I think the original post is a bit closer to the truth otherwise why on earth would she do a runner with someones wallet!

  15. jakki on March 28th, 2013 9:44 am

    Viewing this makes me ill, what are you people talking about. This website is for people to discuss problems not form a mob or to be rude to one another. Please take you views and discuss somewhere else…

  16. Jakki on April 24th, 2013 9:01 am

    unless all your comments are deleted i will put V’s and M’s full names and date of birth on here and other sites so they show up in all web searches for the rest if their lives, do you want this? 30 days from now. your choice…

  17. Sally on April 24th, 2013 10:17 am

    Hi Jakki – have you posted your comments on the correct thread?

    If so, then as far as I am aware the individual who wrote the comment cannot amend or delete after it has been published/posted, it has to be the administrators of the website that does it…

  18. Jakki on April 24th, 2013 11:54 am

    Well these people need to contact the administrators asap and get this whole story removed because there are lies being told from both sides and its wrong, i’m not having this poor child google his parents names one day and see this mess. If one parties name is being exposed I will make sure everyone’s names are printed in these shameful comments. Like I said in my previous comment 30 days or V and M’s full names and D.O.B’s are being published. And if i cant post my comments on here I will find another site to post EVERYONES (and i mean eveyones) details on so that it is easily searchable online.

  19. Paul on April 25th, 2013 2:39 pm

    Neil David Brettell is actually one of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, who remains Neil David Brettell…..so what you people might or might think of name changes etc you are wrong like most things it would seem. His family are good people like him, Jakki whoever you are I think you should release the names and put some shame on them.

  20. DavidCrompton on April 30th, 2013 5:41 pm

    Lesley… clearly you work for the csa and have been brainwashed by them. I have nothing but sympathy for you Neil. I am in a similar situation and find it strange that a guy has to pay for a child that they had no say in creating. Why should a guy pay for her choice? In my opinion it was a way for her to create a life of free income. If you sleep with a girl and the following day she buys a car, do you have to pay for half of it? No you dont so why should you with a child. Yes a very extreme comparison but still the same concept. Thats before you pipe up Lesley…! Niel I wish you all the best in your battle. The csa are just out to close cases regardless. They will chase you for money even if they do not have a shred of proof you are the father.

  21. Sara on May 2nd, 2013 1:43 pm

    We as friends of Neil’s honestly cant believe you are saying this about our friend Lesley! Bullshitter? I’m not sure a real friend of Neil Brettell’s would’nt ever say something like that about him. We all know the situation here, he had no idea that the child was even born and had no contact with the mother since their brief encounter, of course he will not want to be part of that child’s life what planet are you people on. And yes I do feel sorry for a child that may one day decide to approach him as I’m sure the truth will hurt him.

  22. Will Spencer on May 3rd, 2013 10:00 pm

    Jakki, if you are a friend of Neil’s I would suggest you stop using this site. Consider this – if this girl insists she did not consent then where will that leave Neil if you persue this? In a bit of a mess. Leave well alone is my advice and let it rest.

  23. mark on May 4th, 2013 4:31 pm

    It seems to have been overlooked that Neil made this public with his first post. Surely it should be his responsibility to have his comments recinded. The young girl and her child have played no part in these dreadful posts so why is Jakki making such awful threats. Jakki is obviously a partner, close friend or family member of Neil to be in possession of such sensitive and private information. To publish this would be a serious act and would contravene both Privacy and Confidentiality laws and the matter would be passed to the authorities for sure. I would advise against this. jakki should channel her energies into getting Neil to having his post removed so that everyone can drawer a line under this and move on with their lives.
    In response to Sara. You have no reason to feel sorry for the child. He will be told the truth when he is old enough to understand by the people who love him and care for him. He is a beautiful, highly intelligent boy thanks to his hard working beautiful mother. They want nothing from Neil and have moved on. Neil started this nastiness with untrue allegations in his initial post. There was bound to be retaliations. I hope everyone has said their bit and that this is the end of a very sad situation.

  24. jakki on May 7th, 2013 10:34 am

    They will not remove the post so if Neil’s name remains here so will there names.

  25. mark on May 7th, 2013 10:58 pm

    Jakki. I too have been in contact with the site and I am awaiting their advice re your threats. Of course Neil can have his initial post removed. Its only a forum after all. I wont be accessing this site anymore. Life is too short and this is absoluting degrading.

  26. Sara on May 8th, 2013 11:33 am

    Jakki, you are not speaking for everyone involved in this and doubt you have even disused this with Neil. Lets just get this post removed.

    I have also contacted the site regarding the comments so it needs to go.

  27. Lesley on May 28th, 2013 2:15 pm

    I have also recently found out that one of the people behind the CSA Hell website is a pedophile, I think everyone should no longer post on this site. It disgusts me.

  28. Michael - CSAhell.com staff on May 28th, 2013 3:30 pm

    Lesley, Sara, Jakki and Paul – you’re all posting comments using the same IP Address, which means you’re all using the same computer. Having an identity crisis are we? Accusing people of being a paedophile, on a public website, is a pretty stupid thing to do – especially when we can trace you and identify you.

    You may use fake names, but your identity isn’t hard to fathom.

  29. Lisa on May 28th, 2013 4:31 pm

    Omg, some people must not know the word “slander” or defomation of character, idiots

  30. Jakki on May 29th, 2013 8:46 am

    well maybe you should remove the post like everyone involved in this post has asked you 100 times. It has caused offence to many people yet for some strange reason you you feel like you can ignore our requests. Please remove the post from your website so that we can all get on with our lives.

  31. Michael - CSAhell.com staff on May 29th, 2013 10:31 am

    Perhaps you shouldn’t have posted such vile comments on a public website, in your name and in alias names?

  32. jakki on May 29th, 2013 10:45 am

    Perhaps its time to think about the people who are actually involved in this and remove the post…… both parties have wrote posts that are not true and we ALL want them removed. This whole situation goes a lot deeper than your website and has hurt many families, that why it needs to go. You have been contacted a number of times to remove all posts that have been wrote here, this isn’t a game this is people lives and its very sad that it has come to this.

  33. Lisa on May 29th, 2013 12:31 pm

    Maybe you should have thought about that before trying to name and shame, I think the post should stay , just shows how spiteful some women are! Now you know how it feels put it down to experience, the people who run this page owe you nothing get a grip!

  34. Martin C on June 4th, 2013 8:41 am

    Lisa I deem your response to be as bad as the rest who are involved in the above post, you are trying to get a response from the parties involved which seems a little odd.

  35. P Hawkes on April 25th, 2014 10:48 pm

    I don’t understand how any mother can expect a father to pay CSA when the child was conceived on a one night stand. It’s the woman’s idiot decision to have the child without a partner and without the means to support it and so it should be her responsibility to take care of it- the fathers choice as to whether or not he supports it.

    The mother in this instance sounds like a complete cunt. Having a child at nineteen is completely ridiculous and irresponsible. At nineteen you can barely take of yourself. I feel sorry for the poor child growing up with the mother living off of benefits and hand-outs.

  36. lesley on June 8th, 2014 10:05 pm

    P Hawkes should have read all of the previous posts before posting his insulting carbage. The woman involved here cleary just felt it was right and just to let the father know that he actually had a child with the same blood flowing through his veins. The mother obviously has the love and support of her own family to see her through, She doesn’t and never will need any support from the unworthy father as she is a very successful business woman and has never claimed benefits or received “hand-outs” of any sort. Unlike the father, she didn’t run away from her rsponsibilities. I feel so sorry for people like you – cold, crude and un-natural – like something from another planet. You would have had this child aborted – you are what is wrong with this world.

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