CSA Advice

Dealing with the CSA when your ex partner is lying!

In short i found out my now ex partner to whom i have two beautifull daughters aged 10 & 8 , was having several affairs so we parted and i moved out of the then familly home.

She contacted the CSA and they contacted me ( to which i have no problem with at all , i am more than willing to pay for my children)and i was fully co operative with them and today i received there child maintenance – our decision report.

Firstly i informed the CSA about outstanding familly debts of approx £6500 to which they informed me that £ 3000 was unacceptable as it was on credit cards ( im sorry but in this day and age i assume not many families don`t have credit card debts ) the further £ 3500 ( balance of a £12000 loan ) they asked me to provide details of.So i got togeather the details , bank forms,agreements and forwarded them onto the CSA.They then contacted me to provide details of what this money had paid for to which i supplied them a detailed list of the items i was still paying for that were still in my ex partners house.

The CSA contacted me a week later to say they wouldnt accept this variation as they had spoken to my ex and she denied it was anything to do with her.

I spoke to the CSA staff member and asked is that was the only paramater they have for assessing these matters ie, phone my ex and say do you accept responsibilty for these debts and we will reduce your maintenance payements or do you deny it and get more money!!To which the CSA basically said YES.I said to the CSA memeber of staff that there system was ludicrous to not have an independant assessor or similar to which see basically agreed and suggested i contact my local MP!
The other point is that i have my children 2 nights a fortnight plus about four weeks holiday per year and my ex has told the CSA i dont have them at all as she found out that would reduce her maintenance by a 7th.

This system seems so unfair and staggered against the father of any child and so weighted towards the mother no matter how honest or not she may be , please can any one help ?

ps. I wrote my local mp ( for the first time ever )4 days ago to see if he could help with the injustice and i await his response,.

Any help or advice from other fathers out there going through this nightmare would be so greatly appreciated.

77 thoughts on “Dealing with the CSA when your ex partner is lying!

  1. Men need to stop leaving their home when a relationship breaks down, it immediately puts them at a disadvantage!

  2. Only your MP can help sort it out , tell him you want it sent to the Parliamentary Ombudsman, other than that like millions of on here "YOUR FUCKED".

  3. Hi .. First go and see your mp at their local surgery, rather than get a standard reply from an assistant. Threaten your ex with civil court action for what she has said to the csa .. you can get what she said underthe freedom of information act.

  4. Take small claims proceedings out – skip the CSA. You can do this quite simply through moneyclaimonline ….(google it)As long as its not over 5k. You will have to prove that these were loans – maybe difficult to do but could be worth it. Your court costs be around 100 quid – if you lost you may need to pay her travel costs but no legal costs and she probably wont recieve legal aid as its small claims. She might just admit in the first instance, if not it may be worth the money even if you lose seeing her lie in front of court she was willing to take the money fight to get it back mate.If you get the contact order – cost of 200 quid and that is agreed with the courts – then you can provide that to the CSA in the varation if they then dont use that you can take that to appeal. Speak to NACSA if you need assistance with appeals …hope that helps.

  5. What you have done so far is absolutley correct. Write to the MP and request a meeting to discuss.I would suggest that you appeal against the credit card and loan issue. If these were taken out in joint names and before your split then there will be signatures clearly showing that your ex-partner is lying.On the subject of your having the kids. Good for you! If you are having the kids for 52 nights or more then, yes – your payment wil go down by 15% or 1/7th. In this respect you need to show again that your ex is a liar by gaining PROOF that you have the children. What I would suggest you do is get a phone with GPS AND a camera and then a subscription to either SkyDrive.LIVE.COM or just create a FACEBOOK album which is security protected. Then explain to your children that every day you have to take a photgraph of them holding a copy of the local newspaper – explain why. These photos will then be GPS tracked and dated – pretty much as evidentially correct as you need.Yes, I know that this is overkill but the CSA will believe the one of you who shows the MOST evidence.

  6. I was in the same situation & was on the verge of bankruptcy because of cheating ex wife. (Joint debts of £60K)No matter what the amount you had shared in debt…..if its in your name its YOUR debt and will never come into the calculations. BEWARE…They will be calculating arrears from the moment she made the claim. You will probably have to pay 20% of you nett income to her (plus any arrears). My advice….Go self employed if you can.

  7. PWC's lie to gain more tax free (retail therapy funding) income at the NRP and childs expense… the NRP has to provide proof to CSA yet CSA will accept any lie from the mouths of greedy selfish arrogant PWC's!!!!

  8. Allan, i agree with you. However they always say there is two sides to every story – NOT !!!

  9. Going self-employed Matt makes no difference as in my partner's case, they based their assessment on my tax credits which are for my 3 children & added their own figure for his self employment (even though his accounts were just under £20 tax this yr & nil last yr & they are genuine figures before anyone rants about it), just for1 child!! Absolute ridiculous crap CSA, we are still waiting for our MP to reply, think it's time I took the bull by the horns now…….AAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHLisa, quite frankly I am a woman, a PWC & a NRP's partner I can understand the anger & frustration that the male NRP's have towards PWC's, it makes me angry & frustrated that my partner can't see his son & yet the PWC thinks that she can make ridiculous demands. The CSA will always believe the PWC & at what cost, that of what's most important, THE CHILD/CHILDREN. It's a case of STOP BEING SO GOD DAMN BITTER, move on, get over it & think about all the children involved & appreciate the fact that the NRP does want to be involved & give support to their child/children. If my ex didn't want anything to do with our children, I wouldn't be wasting my time chasing after him or his money. I consider my ex a friend not a foe, why argue when ultimately it affects the children, they pick up on stress & anger even if you think you're dealing with it. Unfortunately there are too many greedy selfish arrogant PWC's that give the rest of us a bad name, likewise there are many NRP's who don't give a shit & give the good ones a bad name!!

  10. Lisa… you choose to shoot across my bows…. Clearly lisa uses her arrogance, hatred and bitterness…… AGAAAAIIIIINNNNNN!!!!Hm… fire a second volley sweetheart, am prepared for broadsiding…You selfish arrogant greedy manipulive, fib-telling, story telling PWC's… when will you ever learn????????

  11. the Csa are useless. Give them all the proof you've got on recorded delivery. Phone calls are meaningless. I deal with them via letter from now on and DOCUMENT EVERYTHING. Good luck to you

  12. Richard… I beleive that particular anatomy (if clean) can be usefull. maybe a description unlike lisa's anatomy .. It's better to describe the accurate description of distastefull!!I have already had encounters with that malicious tongued viper…. spirited but easily upset!!!Too many of my comments are ebrasive to her ego!!! her hatred always gets the better of her like the selfish arrogant greedy PWC's who have the curtesy to comment with their ridiculous opinions that they are entitled to our provision for their retail therapy…..why will they not make an agreement to our wish as NRP's to have quality time to go shopping for clothing and footwear… we provide household amenities without complaint as to cost… unlike the greedy manipulative arrogant greedy PWC!!!!Would that not be helpfull to the PWC's budgeting skills??? Unlikely… their need for retail therapy is the only quality about themselves they can actually like about themselves…lol

  13. Richard and Allan, why are you throwing insults and abuse again as well as your use of foul language. Quit it and provide the advise the person that posted this thread needs instead of having a go at other users. We had this all on the last thread. Let the PWC have their say without having a slanging match. Be much easier to read each thread!

  14. Instead of aiming verbal insults at others, why not try to help out the person who posted this with some actual advice.

  15. By your attitude towards pwc's, how on earth do you communicate with your ex's? Are your children the go between?

  16. OK i thought this was CSAHELL.COM ,, NOT CSAHEAVEN.COM,, as the PWC would prefer it called so BOLLOCKS

  17. You're a very sad person. Dont lash out at others because of the CSA. If you feel your financial contribution towards your children is not being spent on your children then take it up with the pwc of your children. Any failures on your case should be taken up with the CSA. Insulting others gets you nowhere.

  18. " is where non resident parents and parents with care can seek advice about the CSA, as well as share their stories with like minded people." It doesn't mention the use of foul language, or the fact that PWC are greedy selfish and arrogant, as stated it is to share stories with 'like minded' people. Male and FEMALE!

  19. That's so true Annika. 'like minded' allan morrell and richard murray are clearly in the wrong place.

  20. I am starting to think it's the Allan & Richard show! No-one else gets a word in. What must new people visiting this site think when they see endless posts of abuse and foul language. We all struggle with the issues we have created with the CSA and are on here for guidance and support in dealing with the CSA yet all the site currently offers is two blokes that attempt to de-grade you for being the PWC. Perhaps we would be best to s

  21. As you see….. there are PWC's who believe an individual answer and individual opinion in response to Lisa's comment towards myself are not entitled to be made…These PWC's believe NRP's are not entitled to make an opinion or respond to other posters directing individual comments!!!My opinion still counts…. remember the advice provided by the admin of this forum… opinion… mean owt???? if you have one…. state it!!!!!You continue to provide direct statements, you are already aware I will state my opinion wether it offends you or not… especially if you wish to comment against my comments with your abuse and malicious venomous poisons!!!!!!

  22. …. set up two sites, one for PWC and one for NRP as clearly we are unable to share our views on the one site!

  23. Allan Im sure Im not the 1st to say this and wont be the last but you really are something else! Every time i see you have commented on a post, you're spiteful, rude and downright vile. What a fine example of a man you are and an nrp! Do yourself a favour and see a therapist cos all that anger and bitterness you have will eat away at you and no one will want to be around you

  24. This site is asharing opinions forum… I believe equal opportunities….NOTE:A PWC wants to have individual sites!!!…… Hmmm!!!!The same PWC who attempted to maliciously discredit me without evidence or facts…. a fabrication of personal beliefs about myself as a father!!! Because I believe the PWC shuld allow the NRP to provide as according to NRP's means by provision in agreement between PWC and NRP… during which time child and NRP share quality time shopping… regular arranged contact with minimum 52 days per year… with inclusion of school holiday else allow child freedom to choose who they wish to spend time with without poison dripping from the tounge of the selfish arrogant PWC!!!!!Annika. my opinion still stands in response to anyone making direct comments to myself… you'v included yaself in that action….You Annika have already stepped over the line with your abuse in relation to what kind of a father am I to my child… My child would be happy to tell ou of how much fun we have!!!He believes I do well by him!!!!! You can see it in his smile and hear it in the sound of his laughter!!!!Dont question my opinions if all you wish is to do is make yourself look a fool!!!!Use your freedom of silene card if you have nothing that doesnt include your comments about me… you also have taken a shot over my bows… fire another volley Annika…..Oh for the wonderful childhood films that inspired my childhood dreams of piracy…lolIts great to share!!!!!!!

  25. Clearly Laura… you wish also to shoot across my bows… although with a back-handed compliment!You comment on hatred yet you choose to act with hatred towards any of my comments????I belieive you laura are the one eaten up with hate!!!! I understand your dillemma of accepting or not that you are in denial!!!!I really do sympathise!!!!!

  26. Volley? Didn't realise it was a game of tennis! Do you see that by insulting ppl with no just cause or reason, you're inviting those to mock you? Not all pwc's are greedy and like to spend their child's maintenance on shoes. Dont tie us all to the same brush. You're hostile. You thrive on winding ppl up and it shows in your comments on this page. Absolutely pathetic

  27. Do you see me calling all nrp's selfish, irresponsible, bad parents that dont want to pay for their kids? NO. As for hatred towards nrp's? No. I dont hate anyone. Get a grip allan

  28. You know what, im leaving this site immediately but may i say with my head held high and i know i am a thousand times better than you will ever be Allan, now how would that be i hear you cry… evidence Annika, evidence… i work to support my child, to clothe him, put shoes on his feet as you say. I do not use foul language and as such work in local government so dealing with the public Allan so as not to regular demonstrate anger towards people unlike yourself. It's a shame that i am unable to use this site for what it is intended but i refuse to communicate with someone of your manner any longer. Ladies, PWC, i wish you much luck in putting up with this well.. what would you call him????? On my final note, i feel that us PWC do a bloody good job and will continue to do so until the day our children leave our family home with or without the CSA or the NRP. It has been nice chatting to a few of you on this site and sharing our experiences. Take care everyone and best wishes for 2011 xxx

  29. bye bye annka… nice knowing you for the short while and your venemous tongue of hatred too!!!I beleive you also annika forgot the need to go back to retail therapy to make yaself feel a bit happier after giving yaself a stressfull time attempting to provoke arguments with me again… so long…. happy New year!!! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmwaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

  30. Folks, you know what – the venom flying around here is directed in the wrong place – the right place is at the politicians who are not affected by their £ grabbing tax scam they named the CSA – Annika all the best. Allan/Richard I know your frustration – come the day this organisation ends perhaps we'll all have a group hug lol… haha now where's my cuppa's to being a GREAT dad irrespective!!

  31. Laura… obviously you have no understanding of pirate warfare and battle with ships…VOLLEY….FYI Laura……. is an attack of cannons firing at will in an attempt to challenge me in warfare..Acrros my bows….. that would be the FRONT end of the ship!!!!

  32. Ships, pirates…. BORING! Who said anything about a war? Take your war, your venom and your pirate knowledge and shove it!! Not everything in life is a war. Your referencing speaks volumes about yourself.

  33. What??? ya mean ya having a whinge about a memory of watching a pirate film and sharing my boyhood dreams????A suggestion Laura….. open another bottle of wine or vodka!!! It appears you might need it!!!!!! Maybe thats whats boring you…. the fact you might need a drink…alcoholic of cause!!!!!!

  34. Im not an alcoholic. Im bored of you and your verbal attacks on all pwcs. You need help.

  35. Laura… I was on about an alcoholic drink… If you have paranoia issues in relation to my comments regarding alcohol… I suggest you seek medical advice….I am of the opinion that you do not recognise the difference with a reasonable PWC and an unreasonable PWC!!! I recognise them both…I have no problems with reasonable PWC's just the unreasonable PWC's…

  36. So am i an unreasonable pwc who has tried to get the csa to collect info correctly, to make sure a reasonable arrangement is agreed & kept to, that the child is in a safe,happy & healthy environment when with me or his father, to make sure he is clean, fed, happy, loved, clothed, warm, educated etc??? No i am reasonable. Im that pwc that has devoted the rest of my life to a little boy. Where's the nrp? Commiting benefit fraud, smoking dope & neglecting his responsibilities. FACT. He's proud of that too

  37. Youv'e been unreasonable to enter the forum page in reference to why PWC's lie with your opening comment attempting to start another argument!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Shut up allan. You talk a load of old s**t. You're unreasonable to slate all pwcs. Go and join fathers 4 justice and organise a protest against the Csa and those pwcs that do take the piss out of nrps. The gov doesn't give 2 s**ts. Tell you what start a petition and i'll gladly sign it.

  39. I apologise its a fair way in …lolCopied and pasted… your leading comment towards myself…. Allan Im sure Im not the 1st to say this and wont be the last but you really are something else! Every time i see you have commented on a post, you're spiteful, rude and downright vile. What a fine example of a man you are and an nrp! Do yourself a favour and see a therapist cos all that anger and bitterness you have will eat away at you and no one will want to be around you2 hours ago via Facebook Mobile · UnlikeLike · 2 peopleYou and Annika Bowell like this. · It appears you are the one who is angry with my opinions …. you really do not know me as a person in order to make your judgement as to the state of my mind…… or how I financially and emotionally support my child!!!!Ask yourself why you feel you need to make a an in-accurate assessment of me while interpretating my comments as if they were directed at you.!!!!I however am not paranoid as I react to the comments directed at me by name…. !!!! you choose to make direct comments… expect my opinion to be clearly made!!!!!

  40. So you've established that you are quite prepared to slate all pwcs. To what end? Do you get off on it? Does it make you feel better? Well i have some retail therapy to plan for tomorrow. Cant decide on whether to get that expensive pair of shoes or not. Lol

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