CSA will not take my outgoings into account

April 15, 2011

I have been split from my ex nearly 7yrs, for the first 3/4years I paid her £300 per month and had my 4 children every other weekend from fri-sun, as circumstances changed, she moved over 90miles away and i met my now wife, i changed jobs etc and i stopped paying, firstly because i lost my job, i still had the girls at weekends though meeting her halfway on a friday night and sunday afternoon. i got married in july 2008 and the girls were to come, we had bought them dressess etc at the last minute my ex cancelled so i went mad and told her what a spiteful bitch she was probably not the best wording at the time, it was then over a year before i got to see them again, she still cancelled dates when i was to see them, i have now only had access at holiday time or the odd weekend, mainly due to the cost of travelling to pick them up.

We finally got back to friendly speaking terms last year and i said that i could afford to pay her £100 per month and would chip in for clothes etc if she gave me notice so i could budget for it. she said the csa were chasing me and that she wasnt going to stop it as there were arrears of over £8,000 (i received a letter back in august at my old address with this amount) i wrote to them in august asking how they came to this amount and advised them of my change in circumstance, married, address change, job change etc.

Since november i have been in constant contact with them by phone as they have approached my different employers for the last 4 years for uptodate wages details and finally i got an assessment through last week with an amount required of £50.51 per week, with arrears of £10,200 to be paid within a period of 30months.

My ex has insisted that the csa deal with this as £100 per month isnt enough i told her it isnt but i cant give her anymore as i dont have it, i told her how on earth could i afford to pick the girls up feed them ect if im over £200 per month down on what iv got now and she said she’d bring them to me cos im paying it!!!

I cant bring myself to speak to her anymore in a civil manner as i get wound up, all she sees is £10,200.

CSA told me that they are within their rights to attach my earnings upto 40% to pay the arrears which would in turn either leave me homeless, split from my current wife or i just dont pay my council tax, phone, water, gas etc, or i dont eat.

i scrape by every month with what i earn, dont have a car, n hardly ever socialise.

My ex who now has 6 children keeps asking me what im going to do and to be honest i dont have an answer.

I am writing to the csa to advise my outgoings/incomings however when speaking to them on the phone they dont really care and say they dont take it into account anyway and when can i pay.

Any ideas what my options are?? i want to pay and should pay but if i cant pay what they want and they take it anyway the consequences are unthinkable.

I was going to seek legal advice but arent really sure they can help.


  • ros says:

    i sympathise with you . I am lucky that i receive a regular income ffrom my ex. Though on the other scale my partner is a self employed courier currently without work after ill health. We moved intogether last July a few months ago we received a letter saying he owes over £3000 in arrears he phoned and explained he has no income to his name . Tough is what he was told by the csa we now have a court date for the 5th of next month but have no money to waste on a 60 mile round trip to go. We live off my earnings and working / child tax credits . He has 2 of his four children every other weekend to stay over at our house which is 150 miles from them. His ex never meets us half way my partner is having to go and stay with his parents to enable him the access. There is a court order for rights but we cannot afford to see them so how can we just have a spare £100/£300 per month .RIDICULOUS !!!!!

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