CSA takes no notice of my ex-wife’s earnings

December 12, 2011

My ex wife left me 5 years ago and set up with the man with whom she was having an affair.

I used to have the kids (now aged 13 and 11) about half the time. Now I really only see them on alternate weekends. My ex is still with the same person though she denies this as he is wealthy.

I have remarried and have twin boys (20 months).

When we separated (she left the family home) she got a large lump sum and I agreed that I would pay 2/3 school fees and csa amount. The kids go to private schools and I cant afford this any more.

She goes on expensive holidays and buys gifts for the kids, lives in a house with her boyfriend that has a swimming pool and suana.

This month I had to defer my mortgage payment for two months as I have run out of money.

What can I do – I have tried to reason with her such April last year when the twins were born. The CSA amount went down a bit but not much.

The CSA takes no notice of her earnings (she earns about the same as me) or the fact that she cohabits with this wealthy man.


  • janet says:

    Well they are you children so you should pay just because your ex lives with someone doesn’t mean they should pay for YOUR children all you men seem to do is moan

  • kelly says:

    you have to remember, you are contributing to the children’s up bringing the same as your wife does, its sad that your ex sounds like a bitch but really that should not come into it, all that should matter is that your children have what they need and more with the support from you how ever small. Just because you have new children does not mean you forget the others! this would still apply if you was still in a marriage with your ex you should make sure you can afford the kids before you have them or where your circumstances change for the worse however unfortunate it happens and you have to still contribute to all your children not just the ones that live with you. I don’t believe that csa take too much money off absent parents they have helped me get payments from my ex who says he cant pay but yet has a new baby with his new girlfriend and drinks every weekend he works full time and I get £16 a week off him towards the up bringing of my son and he tells me he cant afford it!!! this money covers my sons £10 dinner money, £1 snack at school and £5 spends. I work full time and provide for all my children equally and it costs me a hell of a lot more than £16 a week to bring our son up! as long as you advise csa of any changes in your circumstances they will adjust your payments accordingly in my opinion the percentage the csa take from absent parents is reasonable. The only thing that I believe they need to re think is how much they allow the absent parent to mess about with payments before they set up a DOE arrangement as this is allowing absent parents to get into debt I also don’t think they should take in to account the new partners income.
    My advice to you would be to make sure you have informed the csa of all your circumstances and always remember the children that don’t live with you are part of your family too!

  • kate says:

    i dont agree with how much csa some men have to pay its perthetick for eg im with my husband he works 7 days a week i dont get bennifits just working tax cred n chilkd tax cred wich is all of 107 a week now my husband has gor 3 other children with another women csa as worked out he pays 200 to them every 4 weeks ok but the mother is claiming bennifits dont work and is on around 500 per week for 6 of her children plus 50 a week for her self please tell me how this can be for a bennifit claimer so now my husband works a week for her we also have 2 children and bills to pay she is on bennifits and got a life like a queen is it really worth working these days with the csa they are well out of order

  • janet says:

    Working tax credit is a type of benefit love!

  • kelly says:

    Kate… he works 3 weeks for you & your children then 1 week for his other children that seems reasonable, you have chose to stay with this man therefore I assume you have chose to accept he had/has other dependants. If his children from his first relationship lived with you, then you would have to forfeit a lot more! you should know from having dependants living with you, they cost a lot of money and every parent wants to give their children the best your partner should think of all his children equal and not resent contributing to his other kids irrelevant of how ever much his ex may get in benefits. You should be supporting him and ensuring that his other kids do not sense this resentment.

    even though these kids don’t live with him he has a duty to support them where able and you should not have agreed to commit to a man with baggage if you can’t accept it further more you should not have had more children with him if he so called cant afford his first children!

  • tonybach says:

    been there,done that,your best off going on jobseekers allowence.less hassle,less stress,until csa get theyre act together and stop robbing us fathers,then im afraid thats the only way.the more you earn the more you pay…..yeah right!!!i dont think so!!!!i even even foned csa up on week when i was working full time,and i was talking to this groggy young voice,i said to him,youve taken most of my wages this week,leaving me with nothing!ive paid my bills,but now i havent got money to buy heating or food!and i havent got money to buy petrol for my car to go to work!!his answer was…..not my problem sir,go and see your c.a.b!that week my vile ex went to chester races with her friends!!!!! how is this FAIR!!!!!!!???????

  • janet says:

    If you believe job seekers is the answer go for it what a attitude to have!? Due to circumstances out of my control I was on job seekers for a few months and it was a struggle I wanted to work I did find re employment thank god and I’m so glad I did as couldn’t survive on benefits!

  • kelly says:

    maybe its a woman thing but the more I earn the more I spend on my children and I love doing it! I love treating my kids to things and seeing them smile, like most or all mothers I put my kids before me (maybe too often) point is I enjoy providing for my kids I find it hard to understand anyone who resents doing the same for theirs!

    tony…If the csa left you that skint then they must have taken arrears because when they work out your weekly/monthly payments they allow you a fare percentage to live on but where there is arrears they will sting you, if this is the case then you should have kept up the payments avoiding such a chunk being taken. your children must be so proud that you chose or would choose to come out of work as to avoid paying for them well done pat on the back for you!

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