CSA said I owe more money as I never see my son

January 22, 2013

I’ve just received a call from the csa saying I haven’t paid or had my son over night all year !!

About 2 Years ago this started with my sons mum ringing the csa but I caught her out, long story short I had a child with a arsehole she’s a good mum but not a nice person.

When we split 4 years ago I set up a standing order for 40 pounds a week as my father advised me to, a few months later she phoned me asking for me to stop as someone had sent her a letter asking why is Mr Scott putting money into your bank account, so I guessed she was claiming a the same time, she told me she lied and told them owed her money !!

So then every week I would give her cash in her hand and did for about a year solid I would buy clothes as well and give her more if she was gong on holiday with my son. I have my son every week for a night due to never been able to have him longer as she says she missers him too much.

For years I got ear ache about the hours I did and never being around when something was going on at school etc so I left I could never win went on the jobs seekers for 9 months had no money coming in but seeing my boy more through the week he come round for tea etc.

But that all stopped and I received a letter from her solicitor saying just have contact with your son as normal on a Friday night till Saturday night I thought ok but then got a call from the csa the same day saying you owe money and never see your son !!

I said I had just got a letter saying different from her solicitor, he then rang her and rang me back saying she’s now saying that I had just started seeing him !! It’s like how many times do women lie !! It’s hard enough being a part time dad without the lies about money !!

That’s why I quit I worked and got stick but then got more stick, she sometimes dosent let me see him for a few weeks if we have a fall out so why should I continue to give her money if I can’t see him!! The csa don’t know what’s really happening in these cases.

I’m working at the moment I will be quiting my job as soon as there try take any thing from me


  • carol says:

    mmmmm hard to tell/say if she was claiming (you can claim and receive benefits, you just got to be truthful and honest) but not declaring your maintenance, or whether it was a way to get cash in hand to manipulate you later down the line. The restricting time spent with him because she missed him is quite selfish…your son likely missed you and you missed him for 6 nights of the week.

    Theres nothing really you can do about the past, except know that you were there for your son both in monetary support and just being a dad in a physical way, the best you could at the time. If youre not working the CSA will take £5 from your benefit. Its not much to your son, but a lot to someone on benefits, and when you dont get to maintain contact with your child its even more frustrating.

    Do you not have a solicitor that can help you see if contact arrangements can be resolved? Although court systems and justice are just as frustrating, but when your son grows up, even if nothing gets resolved, he will see you fought to see him. It will make a difference to him to know that. Not saying is consolation but…

    Good luck….dont forget to write letters not phonecalls with CSA

  • j says:

    Hi, welcome to our world.
    First don’t deal with the csa by phone, they can deny anything they want. Insist on all communication in writing (letter not email), keep the stuff they send you in the original envelopes and write date of receipt on envelope. (helps you keep track and stay in order) Anything you say to them (in writing) send recorded delivery and keep the receipts. When the shxt starts with the csa (as it surely will) immediately copy your local MP into everything, try and get them to advocate on your behalf if you feel it helps. The csa will get involved when your ex instructs them, look at the csa ‘infogram’ elswhere on this site to see how it all works. They will claim that you have tried to avoid them/failed to respond etc which is why the written record is important.
    The minute they get in touch request a copy of your data protection prints, I’m pretty sure you can get an updated copy later on when you’ve dealt with them for sometime. This is a record of everything the csa have on you (costs £10) and is a useful tool to help prevent them lying.
    Don’t confuse issues of contact with maintenance, the csa exist solely to collect money and don’t give a monkeys stuff about your personal situation. Stop trusting your ex in anyway right now!
    The csa are likely to get a DEO on your pay (without even trying to contact you, although they will claim they did try), they will try and bully your employer claiming they are allowed to take more in arrears but to the best of my knowledge they can only take 40% of your pay including arrears, the rules do change. (any updates on that anyone?)
    If you do give up work sign on straight away, the csa can take £5pw from your benefit (one day this will be challenged), the csa will be informed by your jobcentre the minute you say you have a child, this is relevant as the csa have to act on this info (rule in Kerr 2004) but they often continue to accrue arrears claiming they didnt know you were unemployed. Also send a letter (recorded) confirming you have stopped work and giving details of your jobcentre claim. Better still get a solicitor or MP to send the letter, the csa have in the past claimed that the nrp (you) didnt inform them that they were unemployed.
    Hope some of this helps, ‘alice’ who works for the csa sometimes posts comments on here and may correct some of the info I’ve given, his advice is generally ok but remember who you are dealing with.
    Cheers and good luck.

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