CSA runied my life after my partner has affair with lodger

May 3, 2011

CSA have just taken £269 out of my earnings because my partner was receiving benefits in 2003!

My partner had told me that she had spoken to CSA and we were not to go through CSA. Hence, I paid her direct. I have told CSA this but, they claim that I owe the money because they had adjusted her money and I am the father. I was actually unemployed as well round about this time but, because I didn’t contact them and tell them this they won’t take that into consideration (which is quite wrong when they can remove money from your employees after finding out through your National Insurance number). I wouldn’t have contacted them because I was told we were paying direct. Anyway, when I sold my house my partner claimed that I owed £3000 to her in missed payments. Stupidly to rid myself of her I paid it as a final payment to clear everything. Hence, now it seems the right thing to do to remove the £260 from her monthly money (which CSA do not get involved in).

When I received a breakdown from the CSA of payments I received a new assessment which stated I should pay £90 odd a week. This was based upon my salary but had no details of my outgoings. I then received a letter the next day saying that we were paying ourselves without the CSA getting involved. This incensed me because it meant that my partner received an assessment with my weekly take home on it. I asked the CSA why this had been sent out and I was told that one of us wmust have asked for it but, having spoken to the person that issued it he said that it was because money was owed from 2003. Surely they shouldn’t be allowed to send this private information out to my ex. especially if they they follow it with a statement saying they aren’t involved with our payment now. Initially I have asked that the payment be spread over a few months but, my company sent it today and the CSA claim they are unable to send anything back even though I have stated that I cannot afford travel to work without £260 coming from my account in one lump.

I can only reiterate the coldness and callousness of the CSA who have basically said that it comes in one go and that’s tough. It seems that the decent fathers who have always been there for the children are treated like dirt by the CSA. My ex has taken my daughter to live in France (I lost the case to stop this), accused me of assault when she attacked me – she reported it so, she didn’t have to let me see my daughter at Xmas. She moved to Kent (90 minutes away) and I had to travel from Hertfordshire in rush hour. When I was more than ten minutes late she wasn’t there. The list is endless. 8 years after ridding myself of the CSA they extract this money from me and I still have no idea of working out why it is even owed let alone by me.

THE CSA ARE A FARCE AND i RECOMMEND NEVER GIVING YOUR DETAILS TO THEM. This is from the wally that paid her 60% of the house sale, £3000 TO COVER NOT PAYING HER WHEN i COULDN’T and whose company fell to pieces because I was the one taking her to school in Kent for two weeks when her mother had gone away. That was her first weeks in school. I used to wait till 11 and then drive to work in London for 2 weeks.

And you’ve guessed it – my partner was the one that left me having had an affair with the lodger and was gone one day when I got home. …..

The bad dads CSA never find. The good dads they crucify. Any thoughts on what I can do about them divulging my salary to my ex. or whether I can get the figures looked at properly.

It’s only £250 odd pounds but, i’m sick of letting her off. She was probably collecting benefits and my money….

Comments

  • Rather not say says:

    I’m in the same boat. I got with y ex very young and became a father at 18. When our son was 18 months old she told woke me up very early one morning and threw me out of the house (she moved a new guy in right away) she wouldn’t even let me see my son that morning. It was mid December and I really wanted to see my son. I went to stay at my dads and started giving her £190 from my wages each month. She rang me every month the night before payday (because my wages would go into my account around midnight) she insisted he have it first thing or else I would not see my son. Then she told me in march that I had to give her an extra £100 that month because (get this) I didn’t get her a Christmas present. We split up before Christmas and she refused to let me see our at Christmas, did she expect diamonds for this!? I paid her because she said if I didn I would not see my son ever again. Anyway I work full time an hae done since I done since I found out I would be a father at 18. One day I couldn’t go to her house first thing as I work nights and I don’t get home till 8am and then I had to sleep and because of distance and it was bank Holliday and I don’t drive so rely on public transport I told her that she would need to wait until the next day as I could not get to her that day but I would pay her. Then she called me and had a go that the money is rightfully hers and she needs it for a night out. ( she did this every moth and then 2 days after I give her the child support money she makes me buy her Nappys and everything) then one day she tol me that I could t see my son ever again and that she no longer wanted or needed my money. (She claimed benefits and I had no idea how she would support our son like this. She refused the money on the basis that I paid her cash and that risked me seeing my son when I go over to pay her) she had been trying since the split to stop access and I had never been allowed to have over night stays with my son, only an hour a week if I was lucky. After a few months with no contact I was missing my son terribly and she called and said I could have him for the day the next week. I was really looking forward to it. She told me to pick him up at 8.30am but at 4am I got a text from her telling me not to bother as I wouldn’t be seeing my son again. Then I moved into a new house and was hoping to see my son again as I was saving up the child support money that she was refusing to accept in order to afford a solicitor for access. But the following month after moving house and doing 6 shifts a week (12 hour shifts on nights so not seeing my family or anything just to make money to see my son) payday came around and when I went to the bank I did not even have enough to pay my rent… She had told the CSA that I had never paid a penny and they took all my wages before I saw a penny just using my national insurance number that she must have given them. I had to borrow my rent money from a friend and take on house mate. I lost all my savings to her so my chances of seeing a solicitor were gone. then I started doing over time every month and worked 6 shifts a week every week and I only get paid now £800 a month because she gets all the rest. Half of this is rent and half is bills and I am left with nothing. There are now 3 people living in my house and I am still unable to save a penny each month, I haven’t seen my son for a year now and the more I work to get the money to see him the more the CSA take. They said that as its just one child she should get exactly 20% of my net wage but when I’ve looked at my wage slips they have given her 40% or more most months and charged me for it as well. I was so close to finally seeing my son and now while my ex continuously tells my son that I abandoned him the CSA are helping her to keep me away by ensuring I can never afford to take legal action. If I have to wait until my son is 18 and can hear everything from me and make a decision himself I will never see him again because I’ve even been told by her family and friends that her favourite thing to do is poison our son against me and tell him that I don’t care about him and I abandoned him. I never abandoned my son and I never will but the CSA are disgusting for helping her to keep me away from him. Why are they saying she is only entitled to 20% and then giving her twice as much? it doesn’t help anybody and she now thinks she can do anything she wants without consequence because she got the money and she’s kept my son from me for a year. I’ve now missed 2 Christmases and one of his birthdays. How is that fair when all I ever wanted to do was take care of my son and being a father was the only thing I excelled at. I miss my son. Do not go to the CSA!

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