CSA pays me after years of paying them

I have been involved with the CSA since 1997 and have two sons.

From that date to this my dealings with them have been pure misery. When initially assessed I had arrears due to the time it took the agency to work out the correct rate – this after several attempts and build up of arrears.

I have always supported my children (2 sons), this via CSA calculation and by voluntary payments for clothing/ school trips/ travel to and from – you name it I paid it. My ex creamed for years my hard earned money via the CSA and more as indicated above.

Shortly after becoming involved with them I remarried and took on two step children – their father self employed did not pay a penny – no allowance for this situation was taken into account by the CSA – so in effect I supported 4 kids.

My kids later in life – saw there mother for what she was – and following familial breakdown with them decided to move with me.. A nightmare followed in sorting out the finances – not least with Child benefit etc – On principle and principle alone I approached the CSA to assess my ex in order that she would understand how it feels to be assessed by the agency.

She hummed and Ahhed and eventually having fiddled her hours with her employer now pays me the grand total of £5 per week for our children – this at contrast to the £400 PM I paid over the 14 or so years that I paid for them – and largly due in part to being bank paid..

One lesson I have learned is that it is not about the money – it is about being there for your kids when they need you. The PWC in my case took this for granted and saw the kids as a cash flow and not a lot more..

My children appear happier in themselves – my ex has made litte attempt to see the kids in the year or so they have been with me and to be honest I like it like that – she is trouble..

The best advise I can give and adopted was the thought that 0 – 16 yrs is short compared with 16 – 80 yrs and so long as you do right by your kids they will do right by you.. Grin and bear it as best you can and it will sort itself out in the end –

The CSA is a government agency – of good principle – badly thought/ planned out/ Penalises the wrong parties and allows the errant ones to escape to boot.. CSA1/CSA2/CMEC/CMESS – goes on and on – need I say more..

LR