CSA interfered with our private arrangement

January 29, 2016

Long story…..

Started paying child support for son & daughter through CSA as ex wife would not agree to a resolution, she returned to her home town so had to pay her out the equity and take a mortgage extension, and was left with a car (to get to work, so i could pay her) and a knife & fork (literally).

I paid for their holidays, shoes, haircuts, clothes and treats on top, some might say so what this is expected. I am just trying to set the scene. I made a round trip of 200 miles each weekend for the first 7 years to have them at weekends and did not ask this to be taken into account for payment calculations.

I then moved abroad to a country with no reciprocal CSA payment arrangements, therefore by law I was not olbiged to pay anything, but i continued payments for 3 years. After that my son came to live with us for over 2 years and i did not ask for any money in return.

Upon returning to the UK and son going back to mother to live, i asked her what she wanted as payment, finally this time we agreed a figure which i duly paid, as well as extras. I had a good job for 6 months and 5 years later the CSA are telling me i now owe £6,000 back pay for those 6 months on top of what i paid.

I assumed if we agreed a payment the CSA would not interfere? I also foolishly never got the ex wife to put anything in writing that we had agreed a payment schedule. Therefore it is my word against hers that we had an arrangement, i had a letter six months ago threatening court action and asked the CSA to resolve whether ex had agreed to schedule, now i understand the CSA have lodged a payment order with the court. I have had to pay a nominal monthly amount just to keep the bailiffs away. The CSA have been ruthless in their pursuit with never addressing anything i ask of them nor responding to calls or letters.

My advice is get EVERYTHING in writing, no matter how small, even if it is an amicable seperation, it will come back to haunt you. NEVER phone the CSA, only deal in letters so you have proof of date. COPY everything you send. DEMAND your case file notes under FOI. LOSE that trust you have, mine has gone for ever.

FINALLY and this is the most important, NEVER, EVER believe your sposue if they tell you they are using contraception, mine twice stopped taking the pill without telling me. NEVER trust their word, always use your own protection methods. I know at least 4 other friends who have had children this way.

Comments

One Response to “CSA interfered with our private arrangement”

  1. Richard Gent on February 6th, 2016 11:43 am

    Hi
    I am not quite sure on all the CSA rules but I do know they can only claim from you from the date your ex started to claim via the CSA. They cannot retrospectively claim before that date.
    Did you write to the CSA to tell them you were going abroad? If you did and they closed your case with your ex, then the CSA can only pursue you for any payments after your ex requested a new case, assuming se did so.

    Best of luck with all of this. The sooner the courts give reasonable shared care as a starting point and the government splits child tax credits and child benefit between both parents, the less likely one side (usually the Mother) will shaft the Father just because she can.

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