CSA help and advice

I am only just emerging from the debilitating frustration that dealing with this unique institution has created in me, over the last five years. In my experience, the CSA, like Torchwood, are beyond government. Neither does the similarity end there – they are also based on a Victorian view of the world.

In my experience, the CSA are a law unto themselves, hiding their prejudices behind dysfunctional IT systems which are run by disaffected and overloaded staff. They will lose everything that you send them and ignore court judgements or protestations from any source – even your MP! In fact, anything that challenges the FIRST interpretation they gained from whichever side, is regarded as a catalyst for them to “close” the case, as they have insufficient resources to review anything on behalf of any client, or make any adjustments. The only thing they seem to have infinite resources for, is defending themselves from the sort of debate that is vital to the health of any democracy, and paying themselves from our taxes.

You will recognise well meant parts of their corporate DNA from the language they use but like a tumour on the face of a friend, the beauty of their origin is not now apparent when viewed from outside. For this reason, no differently configured government, council or community body can communicate with them to achieve better outcomes for any family – they simply don’t speak the same language. If you are forced to work with these idiots then you HAVE now to learn their dysfunctional language, for the sake of your children, your sanity and your dignity.

Similarly, if you were forced to involve the CSA as a condition of receiving child or housing benefit, then prepare to wave goodbye to any hope of reconciliation with your former partner – you are now lumbered with a knitting circle of people versed only in the culture of blame, who have carte blanche to interfere in the daily rituals of life for yourselves and the children you both still love. It is like having twenty ancient old mothers in law – they cannot use email, ignore everything they hear on the telephone and lose all correspondence. If you force them to reveal the basis of their assessments, most of it will be “redacted”, then they will forget ever sending it. Nevertheless, they can (and will) steal your pay, seize your assets and make assessments that are legally binding on both parties – without recourse to the courts. Welcome to Nanny-state hell.

If you have just started dealing with the CSA then sit down, get a good hot cup of tea and think about my top tips. I wouldn’t claim that they represent any sort of wisdom, they are only my own bitter regrets, dusted off for your information:-

1. Remain calm at all times – the CSA are not malicious, just incompetent.
2. Don’t even try to ignore them – they won’t disengage until they give up.
3. Don’t ever telephone them – write to them NOW – by recorded delivery and tell them that all future commnunication with yourself must be in writing.
4. When they telephone you, remind them of (3), then take the name of the person that telephoned you and write a very polite registered letter of complaint.
5. Keep copies of all returns and correspondence in BOTH direction, so that you can reproduce it when they claim to have lost everything.
6. Open a line of communication with your former partner and tell them what is going on – no matter how much it hurts your pride. Don’t ever assume that what the CSA are doing was their intention – they don’t have control either.
7. If you are working, advise your employer that you are in correspondence with the CSA and ask that they keep you informed of any correspondence received from the CSA.
8. If you are not working and you are a non resident parent – your new priority is not to seek work elsewhere, it is to sign onto an inadequate unemployment benefit in your place of residence immediately – or you will not be able to demonstrate your income over periods in question and the CSA will make a fictitious assessment based on your previous employment history.
9. Remember that children are impressionable things made out of love, who need to feel that love in order to thrive – so don’t use children as weapons, or they will still be battle damaged in the years long after you both lost the war.
10. And exhale..