CSA are pathetic!

November 27, 2009

I split with my ex after 14 years in 2007, we have 2 boys who are now 7 & 9.

He kicked us out of our 3 bed council house ( as it was joint tenancy the council would not make him leave, and I was not willing to take it to court ) we had to move back to my home town and live in my mums house. My ex and I had a bank loan ( stupidly in my name ) he refused to pay anything towards it.

So while he was living in a 3 bed council house for £300 a month rent ( which he eventually got evicted from after putting up a fight, and gave away all the expensive furniture, also in my name ), I am struggling with malicious calls from the bank and trying to support OUR 2 kids.

During this time he was paying £40 a week maintenance ( less than 10 % of his wages, and cash in hand job ). I eventually had to declare myself bankrupt, which is near on impossible trying to get paid wages with no bank account! I was working part-time and at college full-time, out 7 days a week. I asked my ex for more maintenence as we were not affording gas and the kids were cold…he said NO.

It was then I went to the CSA. They assessed the case…..sent me a form saying he should pay £76 a week.

But he didnt…so I repeatedly phoned them. They then went about setting up a DOE…which took months. The day came when a cheque was promised…and of course didnt turn up. CSA tells me my ex is having it re-assessed. I then get another form telling me of the new payments which will be £46 a week? I phone CSA..they tell me he has his g’friends 3 kids to support ( none of them are his and all recieving CSA from their own fathers ).

Day eventually comes when cheque is promised again….of course cheque doesnt arrive. So I phone CSA again…they tell me my ex has filled in a variation form ( I asked the CSA for a variation form 3 times…and never got one ). I then recieve a letter telling me my ex apprently has shared care of our 2 boys as he has them stay over 2 nights a fortnight?

So I phone CSA and tell them he hasnt had the kids stay over for 4 months. But the CSA want proof from ME ??? And if I cant provide them with proof the payments will drop to £26 a week..( baring in mind I havnt recieved ANY money since Nov and it was then March ) I eventually flipped and told the CSA to close the case, because I was not going to degrade my children to accepting £13 each a week, and if their father really thinks that little of them that he is willing to lie to get out of supporting them then thats his problem, I have fed and clothed them, worked and held down a full-time college course and would continue to do so.. as I would not let them go without.

It is now 11 months since I have had any maintenance for my kids, and since he has had them stay over. Yet he drives round in a new fully-loaded Chrysler voyager, goes on holiday, buys his new kids a pony and PS3 ( but wont let our kids have their toys back ).

I am told there is no other option to get maintenance payments, it either has to be private arrangement or CSA. I hope my ex someday has a conscience as to the way he has treated his kids. And to all the decent fathers out there I know how you feel …as I have also been on the other side too ( when I first met my ex he had a 2 year old daughter, and in her case the CSA assessed my wages along with my ex’s, and we had to pay £80 a week for one child and this was back in 1994-95.)

But on the brighter side I now have 3 a-levels, and am doing a foundation degree, my bankruptcy has finished and we are renting a lovely little house.

SOD the CSA..and SOD my ex !


  • chall says:

    Hi Kylie,

    A lot of parents with care do not have good experiences with the CSA.

    All credit due to you. Against the odds, you have come out on the other side.

    Well done and best wishes for a bight and happy future.

    chall – http://www.afairercsaforall.co.uk

  • >