CSA advised ex to lie to get more money out of me

June 14, 2012

After trying for 6-7 years to make my last relationship work with the single mother of our three children, (I say single mother, as she always maintained her own home to receive benefits) i finally gave the ultimatum me or benefits… Benefits it was…

Since that time, i have faithfully had the kids twice a week and everything was going as it should until i entered another relationship.

Since Jan 3rd 2012, when she said she would ruin me to the point of homelessness and bankruptcy, my life has been shattered beyond any recognition.

It all changed on Feb 8th 2012, when the CSA phoned me and demanded information about my relationship to the kids and asked that i fill out the assessment forms for maintenance they were sending out to me.

After a little research on the web, i realised they didn’t have to be involved if an arrangement was reached between myself and my ex about keeping the kids and financial support.

This led to an open and frank discussion where we agreed on an affordable amount of money and two overnights per week with the kids (they only live 100 yards away from my house) and crucially, that i was to get my name on their birth certificates, as i needed parental responsibility in the event of a call the the doctors or hospital, which she eventually agreed to.

So she was asked to inform the CSA about the arrangement, which she stated she had done.

Things seemed ok and the kids loved making their mark on their second home with myself getting involved with school and things that i always missed out on before.

Then i received another call from CSA demanding to know why the forms were not completed and returned, to which i replied that an agreement had been arranged for the care and keep of our kids and that they themselves had stated on the phone, that if an arrangement had been made, the forms did not need returned.

They stated that they had not been informed that an arrangement had been in operation and that my ex denied that she had received any payments or that i had been keeping the kids overnight. They stated that they had assessed me on information obtained from HMRC and that i was to pay an extortionate amount. I explained to them that i was in the process of going into an IVA and that if i had to pay this i would end up with no option but bankruptcy. They didn’t care and simply stated that child maintenance was a priority debt which came first. I had to make a payment over the phone immediately or they would issue a Deduction of Earning Order to my employer.

After a heated phonecall to my ex, she agreed that she failed to inform them and that she was going to honour the agreement we had reached and she duly informed the CSA and the case was closed. It turns out that the case officer in the CSA had been telling my ex what to do and how to get the max out of me…. (Is this their role?)

However, on May 12th 2012, i received a text from may ex, stating that the boys had marks on them, which i was alleged to have made while kicking them while in my care, followed by another text on the 14th stating that the Social Services had been out to the house. She then arrived at my door on the 15th with an image on her camera of what is claimed to be evidence of my violent abuse of my eldest son (6).

I immediately called with the local health visitor and explained the situation and was advised to contact the Social Services and get myself a solicitor. Having immediately contacted Social Services, they confirmed that they had not been in contact, nor had they been out to the house to access any abuse claims. They asked me if it was ok to use my referral to open a case, to which i stated these allegations are totally false and i had nothing to hide.

On May 16th, i received a solicitors letter, dated 14th, stating that due to recent social services involvement, my ex was no longer in a position to offer any access to my children and that i was to discuss to matter through a solicitor. (a total lie, as it was myself who contacted the social services on the 15th).

To no surprise, i have now received another demand from the CSA to complete a set of assessment forms dated May 17th, which i have not returned just yet. (Please advise me)

I have called to the police to see about the false allegations made against me, but was directed to either a solicitor or the citizens advice bureau, as it was a civil matter.

I have been to the citizens advice bureau solicitor, who basically told me that due to my lack of eligibility for legal aid and the fact that i have no ability to pay for legal representation, to pursue a custody case through the courts, would cost in the region of £1500 to £2000 and take between 7-9 months. (though, they could get me 2-3 hours supervised access to my kids once a week until the court case).

On June 6th, my IVA was approved and has started.. (short lived good news)

So i now find myself with no access to my kids since May 10th (the last time they stayed), an ongoing investigation into the alleged abuse of my kids, an IVA which may very well be useless, as the CSA will now make me bankrupt. Which will result in the car being repossessed as it is on HP and no vehicle to make the 70mile round trip to work, which due to the fact that i live in a rural area, there is no possibility of getting to work and back, so i will be forced onto the dole.

How can it be that a father who wants to be a major part of his kids lives, works for a living and supports his kids as best as he is able, can be destroyed by someone who chooses to live their life on benefits and is supported by the system while doing so???



  • chall says:

    NI Guy,

    Unfortunately, as far as the CSA are concerned, the other issues, although deeply worrying and stressful, will make no difference to their involvement.
    Failure to return the forms will result in agency deeming you non compliant and bring all the hassle and upset that comes with it.

    You should get the forms completed and returned asap, this link http://www.cmoptions.org/en/calculator/calculator.asp will access their calculator and you will roughly be able to see what your liability will be.
    The effective date for a new case is when the agency make contact with the non resident parent, and the calculated liability will be backdate to the date they sent the form out to you.
    Once you are aware (via the calculator) what the liability would be, it would be sensible to start putting some money to one side, so you can clear, if not all, part of the arrears that will have accumulated.
    If you later find yourself unemployed, inform the agency who will re assess your liability.

    I’m afraid I can not advise on your other circumstances. Hopefully somebody with more knowledge that me will offer assistance.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • david. says:

    I feel for you ni guy, i also payed for my daughter for over 7 years untill her mother met & soon married a bloke who was out of work & just gone bankrupt, my ex stopped speaking to me, then out of the blue the csa collared me sept for i didnt get any forms to fill in, they went to my employer got 2 wage slips for sept & oct & worked out the deductions from them , BUT , the 2 wage slips contained our pay rise backdated too jan 2010 & dinner money [ our company do not work a overtime system] divided this figure into 12 & thats what i have to pay [ 15% ] now thats a lot.I do have shared care but would like to know why i should keep my ex/hubby/oldest son in a good living & where is her half?.
    It is my understanding as from yesterday the goverment are thinking of bringing in a law that the PWC has too prove they have tried thier best to talk to the NRP to sort out finance before going to the CSA. ? .

  • Gary Wright says:


    Like chall says get the forms and fill them in and send them to the c.s.a as they are on to you now anyway, other wise you will just be classed as with holding imfomation and a penalty payment will be given to you and arrears really rocket with this type of payment.

    With you being new to the c.s.a now so,so far dont have any arrears yet which is a good thing when it comes to the c.s.a.

    The c.s.a’s main objective = AREARS and arrears make liability orders and once you have one of these against you this will only deal with the arrears part, you will have maintainance to pay on top of this.
    Most peoples liability orders will of stemmed from their origional assesement paperwork sent in because yes vital bits of our paperwork vanished also, BUT WE ARE WISER NOW.

    Believe me the c.s.a FIX FILES and if you dont take precautions they’ll fix you case as well.

    Step 1 / fill forms in and send them back.

    Step 2 / If you dont hear from them within 4 weeks contact your M.P and have him/her chase them up,this way you will have an M.P’s letter stating the fact that you have sent them
    (c.s.a wont contact you for months and months otherwise,and the arrears will be starting to mount)
    When they eventually DO contact you, you will of become another statistic of the FALKIRK TRIANGLE = meaning like most other peoples cases,yes a vital part of paperwork for your assesement that you sent SIMPLY DISAPEARED.
    So while you have been under the impression your case is being dealt with,your simply still at the first stage,but your ARREARS will be mounting.Due to that vital bit of paperwork that is missing,so it will be requested again.

    Step 3 / Time again to get your M.P involved again should your paperwork have vanished,as you will have your M.P’s letter from the first time and the c.s.a’s reply.

    Time waits for no man especially when the c.s.a are involved because with the c.s.a TIME is their BEST WEAPON against you because this spells ARREARS which mean LIABILITY ORDERS and once the arrears have passed £3000 it wouldn’t matter if you took 20 solicitors with you the c.s.a walk away with the liability order anyway.the c.s.a normally tell you their is no need for you to show up at court because they will get the liability order anyway SEE HOW CONFIDENT THEY ARE.This is why they like to play THE TIME GAME.

    Step 4 / NEVER throw away any paperwork from the c.s.a because it doesn’t matter how many years have passed believe me you will need it.

    Well this advise should prevent you from working towards your first liability order should you follow it, if not you will come to regret it at a later date, i only wish computers were around when i first started i could of save myself from getting one liability order if this type of advice was around for me.

    Should you use a solicitor at any stage one bit of VITAL ADVISE their which is NEVER give a TRAINEE SOLICITOR a chance to fight your case.
    Yes they have to learn some where BUT NOT WITH YOUR LIFE i made that mistake because you will be asked if you mind if one of them takes your case on BIG MISTAKE IF YOU SAY YES.
    Because trainee means trainee but what you may not realise is that possibly during your case or at a vital part of your case THAT TRAINEE may just qualify as a proper solicitor and will just drop your case that fast and move on to better things and you will be moved to the next trainee, who hasn’t got a clue and your back to day one which could have life changing repercussions for your when the c.s.a win like what happened to me.

    Should the Icelantic Troll be checking the spelling like i’ve noticed comments on other stories about spelling and grammer comments from him?her and putting people down PLEASE go easy with mine as basically when it comes to bad spelling etc well basically i couldn’t give a monkey.We are on here to advise people about the c.s.a not to practice our spelling and grammer,we have better things to do on a night than sit in front of a dictionary.

    Good luck


  • brett says:

    Sound advice from Gary. Always post correspondence to the CSA, recorded delivery. Photocopy the paperwork and along with the postage receipt keep in a safe place
    With regards to a solicitor, do plenty of research that they have experience in dealing with CSA cases and like Gary says don’t be fobbed off with a trainee.

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