Corrupt legal system has destroyed my life

October 14, 2012

I feel for everybody thats posted on here.

Something has to be done to correct this system. I’d like to tell my story thats destroyed my life because of a corrupt legal system. This system was designed to catch people her get a girl pregnant that disseapr leaving her to fend for herself. I agree with it in such cases but its not fair for a lot of cases where quite often the woman left for another man, doesnt let you see your child, and still takes your money. what kind of justice system is this ?

I was with my partner (luckily not married) for 10 years. After 8 years, she got pregnant. i was delighted. But after 3 months, she had an abortion and didnt even tell me until afterwards. I was destroyed and she gave no reason other than she wasn’t sure she wanted it (and it was definately mine).

I left her and tried to cut all ties and rebuild my life. But somehow she got back in touch after 6 months and appologised. I didnt want to accept the appology – what she did was terrible but i loved her and missed her despite it all.

We got back together and a year later, she fell pregnant again. This time she kept it and we had a beuatiful little girl. i was so happy. But after 3 months, the mother (who i believe it bipolar but never medically diagnosed) left me again saying i wasn’t what she wanted. We mainted a relatively amicable situation for a year where she allowed me to see my daughter only if she was present and i paid £500 a month. I then met a new girl and wanted to start spending time with my daugther without my ex present and introduce her to my new girl. But my ex went mental and said no way and refused to let me see my child unless she was present.

My daugther was 1 by this stage and very comfortable and familair with me and i was great at feeding/chaning/nursing her and my new girl had a child of her own so was great with kids. I had to go to court to fight it but as she is a solicitor herself, she knew how to play the game.

I spent 3 years in court driving hundreds of miles around the country to court cases and contact centres and she broke 90% of all court orders. My solicitor who i paid almost £50k to in 3 years was useless and did nothing for me. I asked them to attatch a penal statement but they refused. Everytime i got close to makeing progress and driving hundreds of miles to see my daughter, my ex would move or go overseas on long vacations (just short of the limit of 4 weeks at any one time) and just not be there when i turned up. So i stopped paying her in hope she’d comply and realise it was best for our child to have 2 loving parents.

But thanks to the CSA, she just reported me to them so now they take the money and i have no bargaining power. I havewnt seen my child for over a year now. i dont even know where they live anymore. I pay £700 month now for a child i dont see and whats even more sickening, my ex being a solicitor, owns several properties around the country and last i had heard, was using the money for fancy overseas holidays.

Now the CSA are saying they mis-calculated 3 years ago and are backdating it and that i owe her even more money ! This is NOT what the CSA is meant to be about – if they werent involved, id have some bargaining power with my ex to come to a fair arrangement that would let me see my child but in the end, the stress of it was so much for me i had to give up fighting for my sake and my daughters sake too.

At the age of 4 (when i last saw her), she was starting to suffer from the affects of the hostility and got upset when she didnt see me and upset when she had to go home. I didnt want it to be that wat for her but because the MOTHER made the contact so incosistent by breaking all the court orders, our relationship became so unsettled not knowing when or where i’d see her and not being able to bring her to my home and have a nice bedroom and family environment for her. Intsead i had to meet in motorway service stations 100’s of miles from my home where id have her for 6 hours in the middle of nowhere done deliverately by my ex to prevent me involving my parents or my new partner. What kind of life is that for a little girl ?

I hope she is happy and has a more stable life now and that one day i will find her and tell her how much i loved her and how hard i fought but life is too short to spend it fighting costantly and the only way my ex would let me see my child is if i went back to her which after what she put me through, is never going to happen.


  • John says:

    My ex repeatedly defied a judge and court orders regarding contact, and the legal thieves wanted me to throw thousands more at a useless waste of paper. They also did naff all to hold my ex to account!

    I was then stitched up with £6,400 of ‘made up’ arrears, so to teach my a lesson I ceased contact with one of my sons (aged 18- 4 years ago), and I explained to him why I was doing that, and he understood fully!

    I have another son, who was subject of the main breach of the court orders by my ex. I haven’t seen him for 9 years, because of his mothers behaviour.

    I have written to them all. Brown, Cooper (DWP), Cameron, Clegg, Duncan-Smith, to tell them of the flawed family law system, including contact issues and the worse than useless CSA, that only seek s to criminalise absent parents (usually fathers)……………..ALL of our democratically elected ‘scumbags’, don’t want to know, and what is worse is that they legislate further to make the system pro government and pro PWC!

    Is it any wonder that decent, honest people, become anti government, when they don’t listen, and press ahead with their own agendas, irregardless of public opinion.

    Parliament should be bulldozed and we should start afresh, with common people that want to serve us, and not the Tory toffs, and union driven Socialists!

  • Alice says:

    access and financially supporting your child are not connected – in short you do not pay for the upkeep of your daughter only if you see her … equally your ex should not allow you only to see your child if you pay a certain amount of money .. your child is not a rental movie with a price per hour.

    Not paying your child support will not be looked on kindly by the courts and may go against you. If you are not happy with the solicitor you are paying then change to a different one.

    if the csa say they mis-calculated 3 years ago and are going to revise the calculation ask them what they based the calculation on and what they are going to base the revision on – if you provided the requested information at the time then I don’t see why they would need to revise it now – for 1 child you will pay 15% of your net income – if you did not provide the evidence of your income at the time and they imposed a DMD (default maintenance decision) £30 for 1 child and they now have the correct income you were on at the time they have the right to revise this – you maintenance is based on your income and this will be 15% of your net income – with allowances for children in your household or shared care if you have your daughter overnight at your home 52 nights or more in a year

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