Can my ex change my son’s surname?

October 12, 2010

My ex partner (we were never married) has decided to tell me that she has changed my sons surname..

I have contact with my son every weekend and talk nearly everday.. she says this was my son’s idea but i dont believe it. My son has always talked to me about everything but has never mentioned this..

PLEASE is there anything i can do to stop this? He was born april 99 so i believe the law says i dont have parentle rights, plus im also lead to belive that she is intending on marrying her new partner – in this case will she be able to change my sons surname again to his surname?


  • Average Joe says:

    Unfortunately I don’t know what advice to give you but the first thing you should seek is a Parental Responsibility Order through the courts then you should hopefully be able to block it.

    Hopefully someone with a little more knowledge will come along.

  • Brokenfather says:

    At the moment.yes she can change your sons surname because to do so only requires the agreement of all people with Parental Responsibility, which you dont have.

    You would therefore need to make an application to the County Court for Parental Responsibility and for a Prohibited Steps Order to stop the change of surname.

  • martin dell says:

    if your on the birth certifate i do belive they need your consent but not surly when it was changed so u got it automatical

    if not do as brokenfather says and get down to County Court for Parental Responsibility 1st thing when they open donot delay .

    also if you are going for access you need to get a c100 form unless you can afford a solictior

  • Lorraine Moore says:

    The best thing you can do is apply for parental responsibility. There has to be a very good reason for you not to be granted this, and as you have good contact with your son..and obviously a very good relationship, I don't see why it won't be granted.As the law stands, while you don't have this in place she can indeed change his surname to whatever she chooses. Act now!

  • Angela McMillan says:

    i'm sure if ur name is on the birth certificate u automatically have parental responsibility & ur ex has no right 2 change his name without ur consent, she'd have 2 apply thru the courts

  • Busylizzy says:

    Actually it is very easy to change the name even when a court has awarded Joint Parental Custody I chose ,in the end, not to as I felt it was a decision that woud effect the children for the rest of their lives something which ,when old enough, should be their decision not mine. Hence I went ahead with my name change and my solicitor when qustioned said it was no problem if ever I wanted the children could change too and actually gave me the paperwork and said “once it”s done there”s nothing they can do about it”!!! So sorry but Goodluck and the whole lot cost a mere £130 pounds

  • Average Joe says:


    Please qualify your last response! Why is it so easy, if one party objects then on what grounds will the court override the status quo?

  • brokenfather says:


    The mother does it by Deed Poll claiming the father cannot be traced. There are no checks made on that claim ……..

    Another way, which mine did, is to make an application to Court and simply not serve the Application on the father. The court then deems him as ignoring it and the first the father hears about it is when a copy of the Court Order arrives on his doormat, assuming the mother has even put his legitimate address!

  • Busylizzy says:

    Yes Joe for me it was terribly easy take one solicitor (must be a notary or whatever its called) One sheet of paper. read it out loud sign it ,solicitors stamp, bobs your uncle away you go and anotherr sheet with the childrens names on it just the same. Took all of ten minutes! I HAD to change my name as my ex was running up debts to the tune of £200thousand during divorce that was effecting my credit rating etc

  • Trevor Franks says:

    it happned to me my daughter changed her name without my permission she is 17 all down to money matters caused by the csa when is the csa(goverment) going to relise they have fucked up and abolish this agency for all the shit they cause and the tax payers money it needs to operate shame on you csa

  • Average Joe says:

    So can the father not change the name back? by the using the same process?

  • Peter Anderson says:

    Only just seen your question. As the birth was before 1st Dec 2003 then you do not have parental responsibility unless you have acquired it thru a court. Do you have a formal contact agreement or order made by a court? If so, did you not ask for a PR at the same time? If not, you could ask for a prohibited steps order to be made. But what does your son say about this, he is 11, what does he want to happen? Also, what name is he known by at school? Does he want it to change? We had one case at a local school where the mother was changing the children's surnames everytime she got a knew boyfriend and it was the school who then objected and preventing it reoccurring.

  • ABIGAIL says:

    I have 2 young children by my ex, neither has his surname as he thought it might affect his benefit! (he’s a maggot). Neither is he on either birth certificate. He does have parental responsibility however, against my wishes(he’s a maggot). I now have a loving partner who i am hoping to marry soon, and want to change the childrens surnames from my maiden name to my new partners surname. Can my ex object? would love some advice on this. On the childrens last court ordered visit to his house, he thought it would be ok to leave them on their own for a while(ages 8 and 3) to go the chippy!

  • Leanne jones says:

    The advise to all mothers unless married dont gve child father surname

  • Ian Macphail says:

    Leanne, Please. A father should have as much as a right as the mother, to stigmatise a child because of youre actions in making love and creating that child, would be more of a burden on the child when older due to you playing GOD. Every child has a right to a mother and father.

  • Steve80 says:

    My son has just started using my ex surname and not mine. I spoke to her and she said she won’t do anything as he put it on messenger so it’s ok as it’s not a legal form. She split with me and I wasn’t the angel back then. But since we split, one year later I had twins. They were 28 weeks premature and they are now 4 and one of them has problems with learning. My ex has never bought the twins any present from my eldest. Never invited them to his birthdays. Not included him in anything . What can I do to stop this toxic ex from alienating my son from his brothers.

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