Can I ensure money paid to CSA is spent on my daughter?

August 8, 2012

I split from my wife 8 years ago and for around 6 of these years we had an amicable agreement for our only child and remained friends to ensure the effect of our split was minimal on our daughter. We still owned a property together which my ex used to live at apart from a six month period when i moved back in after i split from my girlfriend. It had been on the market for years in the slump and i had always paid half towards the mortgage.

We just lived as house mates. I met a new partner and a few months later so did my ex wife. I moved to my parents after undergoing major surgery and needed 24 hr care for a few weeks. The 1st inclin that something wasnt right was when She told me that from now on i would need to make an appointment to see my daughter because her boyfriend didnt like me just dropping round in my own house. I said at the time, thats OTT and carried on the coversation not really taking much notice. A couple of weeks later, a rather bizarre incident occurred when i went to pick my daughter up, sue asked me to leave as her boyfriend was on his way round, and i said im just here to pick my daughter up, she started panicing accusing me of shouting and threatend to call the police, i just got my very surprised daughter and got in my car.

Two days later i got a court summons and was issued with an order which stopped me from going within 20 meters of my house, i had to collect and drop off my daughter at the end of the road and was ordered to continue paying half the mortgage. This had a deverstating effect on my child, her parents rarely argued we were like brother and sister.

A few months later i recieved a csa order to pay maintence on top of the money i was paying for the house i was not aloud in, BTW her boyfriend had moved in now. I have joint custody of my daughter, 3 days one week 4 the next. But as my ex wife claims the child benefit she can still claim maintenance from me even though its 50:50 care. This is not my issue though. My issue is that my daughter very rarely sees any of this money i pay for her, she has very few clothes and as a 15 year old girl her self esteam is on the floor.

My ex doesnt speak to the csa, her partner does, if any money is given to my child for clothing, it comes from him. I have to pay £145 per month plus her phone bill and i still have to provide her with even the most basic items of clothing.I was told by the csa after a recent bout of complaining that this money wasnt even been spent on my child, that to be treated fairly i need to have a sex change.Is there anything that can be done to ensure this money is paid for my daughters clothing and upkeep and not for his savings / beer money? i have offered to pay the csa into an account for my daughter but the answer is no. I feel i am having to fight for my own child to have what she needs with no hope of winning!

My local mp cannot do anything, its just set up to screw every last penny out of you and bypasses the child its supposed to support. Surley this cannot be right?


  • chall says:


    At 15, your daughter could decide she wishes to live with you full time, would that be feasible?

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  • Terry norris says:

    The csa couldn’t care less where or how the money is spent because its not their money.ask them or even better,demand to know where your money goes and they will laugh at you or look at you as if you sprouted a second head lol
    Remember…these people DO NOT CARE about the child’s welfare for whom the money is intended…..the name is a smoke screen to rob hard working fathers of more taxes to top up the treasury money pot as quickly as its emptied to support scroungers,layabouts,lazy bastards and young single mothers that have kids to get everything handed to them on a plate inc all the benefits under the sun and a rent free house,no council tax.
    Hey!!! Somebody has to keep these in the life they have become accustom to lol…the freeloaders and burdens of society to contribute nothing but take every thing

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