Both my daughters left me after I started a new relationship

September 26, 2012

This is a bit complicated, but I will try to give the most concise story I can. I have two daughters, now aged 21 and 15 and until 6 months ago they lived with me, their mother. Their father was in and out of our lives until my youngest was about 2 and since that time I had 100 percent care of my children.

Their father visited and would take them out for the day, but only rarely had them overnight. He was in and out of work. I studied, worked when I could and was supplemented by Centrelink when I wasn’t working enough and CSA put in place an assessment for their father. However, he would change jobs or work cash in hand and minimise what he owed.

Still, he currently has a debt of $20,000. In this time, my youngest daughter had difficulties, may be Aspergers and often refused to attend school. I asked her father to help me with her, but he would be abusive toward me and call me names so I tried to manage on my own. I was constantly taking her to counsellors and school interviews and trying to help her.

However, she started becoming aggressive and having hysterical outbursts. Both my daughters objected to a new relationship I developed and my youngest one night came into my room and attacked me physically (not first attack).

I had to call police and the result was my daughters both left me. The youngest went to her grandmas (father’s mother) and the eldest is 21 and has moved out of home (we are on good terms now). The difficulty I now have is that their father immedicately claimed for Child Support from me (even though he has a debt) and I have been assessed to pay about $100 a week to him (it is being deducted from his debt at this point).

I feel this is unfair as my youngest daughter was with his mother, and has only recently gone to live with him. I hear she hates living with him and his girlfriend and new baby. My youngest often asks to stay with her sister but still refuses to talk to me as she believes I am in wrong for having a new relationship. I am nervous to live with my daughter as she has attacked me in past. I pay for her mobile internet, mobile phone and health insurance.

CSA say these are gifts and don’t count. Her dad won’t buy her anything, I have sent her clothes. He lives rent free with his gf and even sent my daughter’s dog to be adopted. I went to the vet and took the dog to live with me.


  • chall says:

    cherie do you live in Australia?

    Under UK CSA whoever ( Grand parent, guardian etc) is in receipt of Child Benefit for a child can apply to the CSA to gain child maintenance from one or both of the child’s parents – I’m not sure if it’s the same in Australia.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

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