Bitter ex lied to CSA even though I provided for years

February 1, 2017

Me and my ex split up 13.5 years ago – whilst together I paid for everything including taking out a loan to pay off her debts and we shared a house – due to me finding out she was cheating I left the house – and this is prior to having a child. weeks later she confirmed she was pregnant and I still helped with everything. as the child turned 1.5 years old I decided enough was enough and I cant show any affection for the ex no more as she was simply a vile woman who had horrible opinions of others and little regard for people in general. So I left and then got in a new relationship which is my current mrs for 13 years now.

The reason for my cry for help is I recently received a letter from the csa stating that I owe 35000£ for not paying maintenance – I could not believe it. This is also taking into account that ive previously had an attachment of earning – this is on top of all the cash I’ve handed over and also all the items and things I’ve purchased for our daughter and the holidays and nice things ive done for her over her lifetime.

I live in a house with my other x2 daughters and as I’ve had to pay over £500 per month for my first child my current children have gone without – this is totally not fair and all the csa have to say is that my case is on an old system and it is what is it.

The mother of my olderst child is bitter and she believes I owe all the 35k in cash – how on earth an I suppose to look forward positively with my Mrs and daughters living with me when i cant ever have the means to advance myself to a position of happiness.

I still owe the loan i took out for my ex and im paying off debts then i receive a debt for 35k this is totally ridiculous and out of order – just because she has told the csa what she likes and has made me look bad when everyone who knows me and my daughter knows that ive done everything for my child from day 1.

As my and my current mrs have had another child the bitterness has increased and my ex cannot see past the past. it is very shallow and its almost as if to keep in contact with me their must be a conflict – let me just move on with life as our daughter is one of the top athletes in the country and she is not deprived of nothing. my ex works as a social councillor and are far from the bread line – all their bills are paid with change – on the other hand I’ve been the one made to suffer having to constantly borrow just to make ends meet – as i said it is ridiculous owing 35K for a child when the ex is always having a bad day so she has to aim to get more money from the day who pays more maintenance for 1 child then people i know who earn 80000k per year . bloody ridiculous.

on that note our daughter has the latest in everything this includes laptops PlayStation clothes etc. and my daughters have the bare minimum unless someone else buys for them.

That’s the harsh reality of it – i need help from someone who actually cares for my situation.


  • Adam says:

    I also was in the same situation as you they should be investigated as its run by assholes .we all should lobby our mps

  • James MacDonald says:

    I had a fling with a girl when I was 22 ( i.e 2002 ) and from this we had a son. She went against her mums wishes to get rid of the child thus she kept it. He will be 15 in January 2018. When he was very young me and his mother used to argue a lot as she would persist in using him as a weapon only allowing me to have access whenever it suited her. I pursued with Lawyers over a number of years however that never really resolved the issue. On 1 occasion myself and his mother had a huge fallout which resulted in me being arrested for a minor assault charge. I’ve since found out within the last year his mother had planned the arrest and lied about it so I could not have further access and not be part of his life. There was also a period of about 18 months way back through 2010 – 2011 where we agreed I would give her cash every month for my son. Approximately £150 per month. I did not think at the time to do a bank transfer for records. This was also at a time when my Ex would allow access. Over the next few years I have paid CSA however there has been some points I have refused to pay CSA as I felt it wasn’t fair as I was not seeing him. It has since turned out that she reported me to the CSA stating I had not paid her over the period between 2010 – 2011. This has resulted recently in myself since July 2017 having to pay back backdated funds up to £450 per month presumably to cover costs of the already mentioned period. So in this instance I have been charged double the amount for a 15 year old child I have seen on and off for about 7 – 8 years of his life.

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