Benefits stopped so ex goes to the CSA

March 7, 2011

3 yrs ago I split from my partner whom we have a 4 yr old daughter with. I had previously attempted to take the child away from her due to her persisitent drinking habits, the final straw being arriving home from work to find a mother so pissed she never realised that I had taken an 18 month old child out of the house and been gone a good few hours. The courts bought her story that she was a fit mother and sent the child back to her. This ultimately led to her moving out into a council house living on maximum benefits.

I paid child maintenance every week without fail to her in “cash” as she is registered bankrupt and has no bank account. 6 months later during a dissagreement she opened up a case with the c.s.a. The c.s.a hassled me, phoned me at work and generally caused me no end of upset. A few weeks later when she had calmed down she rang them back and closed the case. A few months later when she had another episode , again she rang the c.s.a caused me no end of grief, opened and shut another case and claimed I had never given her a single penny.

Last year we were sort of getting on despite not being together etc, I still however could not trust her, so I gave her a cash card and bank account (mine) and my pin no. and paid my dughters maintenance into this account so she could withdraw it at the bank, and I too would have a record (just in case), this has worked fine, although she spends the money on online bingo, internet shopping etc, I have never seen anything to suggest it is going to my daughter. I do support my daughter well financially, I pay into her trust fund, buy her clothes and shoes as my ex dresses her constantly in hand-me downs, presents, riding lessons days out, holidays… to be fair… a small fortune.

My ex has now married (3 weeks ago)and has wrote to me confirming paying her by this means is no longer acceptable and she will be claiming the money through the c.s.a. I have today spoke to the c.s.a and said we have a private arrangement but of course it counts for nothing. I can only assume that as she has now got married, her benfits will have stopped, so she is using and abusing the system to gain money out of an already bad enough situation. She has also moved 20 miles away and refuses to tell me where my daughter is actually living, I have asked the c.s.a what they are doing to help me with this and all i got was bullshit about the data protection act. I do have access to my child, she is dropped off at her grandparents for me to pick up.

Why can a woman stop and start these claims as and when they see fit just to get financial gain for themselves and cause no end of upset to the other (WORKING!) parent. Its all wrong.


  • John says:

    This is yet another good reason why the CSA should be shut down and enforced mediation used for parents to provide finances for their children!

    It would save the taxpayer millions of pounds!

    Blackmailed by the ex and Blackmailed by the CSA!

    It’s a NO WIN situation for the NRP, who are Persecuted and Criminalised!

  • Peter Anderson says:

    You have two separate problems and deal with them like that.

    The CSA – if she chooses to go to the CSA that is up to her and not much you can do about it. Assessments start from the time they write to you. You were foolish to go buying here things and if paying her in cash, you should keep a proper book of the payments and preferably get her to sign when she is given the money.

    Contact – if she is denying contact then do something about it. If it has stopped, you should be in Court getting it reinstated. For more advice on this topic, repost your message on Separated Dads on Facebook.

  • Peter Anderson says:

    While CsaHell on Facebook is down, come to Against the Csa on Facebook.

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