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You say owed to you? It’s not owed to you it’s your kids money! Why not get the message he is done with you, move on get a job and support yourself now! Your ex isn’t a free ride for you to take advantage of, you sound very bitter, maybe think about your own life like your ex has and get on, forget the money you won’t ever get it, good luck to him I say
Lisa
I have a job thank you very much and I support myself well so no free ride here! . Yes the money should have been for my children 20 years ago but paid to me.
This site is to state your CSA hell and get support and not to have people like you be rude when you know nothing about my situation and until you do keep your nasty comments to yourself.
This site might be csahell, that hell caused by women like you! Have you any idea what this abhorrent agency do to decent genuine men that wanted to be a father and was used as a meal ticket, so do yourself a huge favour get a grip of yourself and realise the money and control you wanted out of your ex is long gone
Give that man a medal. Well done fella.
Decent men wouldn’t have the hell they get if it wasn’t for the ones like my ex. It’s them you should blame and be angry at.
csa want go after people that self employed as their is no set wag & time were he may not even have the money to pay him self & if he dont live in the UK no more they want go after him .
you done it these fair so why even brother cut you lose ALSO ITS NOT OD TO YOU AT ALL !! CHILD SUPPORT ITS IN THE NAME ITS YOUR CHILD MONEY !! NOT YOURS !!
Well said lisa
@ Alison…you battled since 95 with the CSA…..maybe if you had contacted him instead of these vultures then maybe he wouldn’t have tried avoiding payments to you, maybe he knows the CSA and you will be milking him dry for 20 yrs and that’s why he avoids the pair of you. Maybe if the CSA was fair with the NRP’s it gets it’s claws into and allows a means tested system so he pays what he can afford. Maybe if so many mothers werent so greedy and try milking the father for all they can get with full help and support from the CSA and using the ex as a ATM machine and kids as cash cows and an attitude that the ex owes you a life and he’s not entitled to one after you. Then maybe…people like myself and lisa and lots of others would not bite people like you so hard on the arse.
Gonk
As I said before you are all assuming what you don’t know, same as I don’t know your situations but guess you are wives/partners of absent fathers trying to avoid their responsibilities.
Why shouldn’t an absent father contribute in some way? after all they wanted the child to begin with then think it’s ok to disappear out of their lives.
Alison…..you assume wrong. I never ever expect to shirk away from my responsibility. I have no problem with that at all..what I object to is being dictated to by this vile agency telling me I will pay and not allowing to know how or even if the £300+ a month I have to pay for 1 daughter is actually spent on my daughter. The CSA do not means test a Nrp on his ability to pay a fair amount. He has no bills or out goings as far as the CSA is concerned.
You mention why he shouldnt contribute. Where is some of these mothers contribution ?? When they have all the benefits handed to them under the sun and lots of them having working partners… So where is their contribution? The way I see it they have hand outs left right and centre and money from an ex. If I’m forced to pay £300 why isn’t the mother having paying £300 a month? 50/50 right!!!
Why is her contribution not taken in the form of reduced benefits….no…she gets all her benefits and CSA and free roof over their heads in many cases, free council tax. What does the Nrp get? F**k all……what help does he get? F**k all
And as for wanting the child…who are you to assume he didn’t ??? For your information , mine was taken from me when she was 3 because her mother couldn’t keep her legs closed…..she walks out the door,takes my daughter and I’m expected to reward her for the privilege….PMSL….all wrong …totally wrong.
Gonk
@ Alison
All I do is provide an income for my ex, top up her and her partners income. And for what….a child taken from her dad and who has not seen her coming up to 2 yrs now.
Another greedy bitch ex who won’t even bring my daughter to see her dad because it’s going to cost her money in fuel…but she expects the £300 from me each month and bare the cost of the fuel from high wycombe to Wiltshire there and back twice.
And all the cost of whilst I have her. Shes not prepared to cut me some slack and come to a private arrangement that’s fair taking into account cost to me for seeing my daughter on a regular basis…..oh and yes….she won’t do this because this way she gets max CM. out of me….so tell me why you don’t understand why so many fathers feel angry and bitter at a system that works for the mother and totally against the father.
Gonk
Re read my post, I did not say he didn’t want the children I said he did.
In my case it works out about 60 pounds per month for 2 children. I’ve always worked to support my children and they cost me a damn site more than 60 pounds a month! So no 50/50 here.
I’m not saying that the CSA should not take into account your living expenses, in fact I think they should.
@ Alison
Glad to see you agree about the Nrp living expenses, and no it’s never 50/50. If I pay £ 300 why shouldn’t my ex? Why isn’t the same money taken out of her benefits. Let’s put it another way, supposing your ex was paying and on a dam good salary and therefore CSA calculate he pays £500 a month….his 50%. Would you be prepaid to pay the same…..your 50% ? No hell you wouldn’t . The way the system is and so unfair is the mother could be working a well paid job,she could have a minted partner and together living the life of luxury but the ex still has to pay the full amount. How’s that fair? So there’s no 50/50 fairness at all.It should means test both ways ,on the NRP’s ability to pay and the pwc needs determined by her financial circumstances. But its not. Maybe that’s why your ex avoids you both.
And where exactly do you say HE DID want the children in your posting, cause I see no ref to it all. You use the word ” they” wanted, not ” he” or have had many men father your kids ?
Gonk
What I said was ….Why shouldn’t an absent father contribute in some way? after all they wanted the child to begin with then think it’s ok to disappear out of their lives.
I’m sorry I wasn’t clear but I was referring to my ex and he is both my children’s father.
As said before in my case it wasn’t 50/50 as I certainly spent far more than 60 pounds a month to raise our children. He also got a new wife in record time and had a good income from her too so it does work both ways. He had 2 incomes and I only had 1 and they don’t take her income into consideration either. So he was living the high life whilst I struggled. It’s not fair that way either.
Alison
We both have good points and do understand yours, but the bottom line is, the CSA is unfair and biased towards the mother. I am in no way condoning those dead beat dads that go out of their way to avoid paying. I speak for the thousands of dads on the bread line and some close to suicide because of greedy ex’s and the CSA.
You never read about mothers ready to finish their lives because of this filth. I’m convinced that if the system was fair then a lot more fathers would be willing to come forward. Your comments about absent fathers contributing in some way is a joke because if the CSA get their claws into him, he pays the whole way, theres no some way about it.
Gonk
In my case Alison…I wanted my daughter but her mother decided she didn’t want me in her life, she took her away from me at the age of 3, moved to Germany with her lover she was cyber whoring with.
I’m an old fashioned man and in my books when a wife walks out of a husbands life cause she don’t want him any more and her lover goes out of his way to take your wife and kid…then I say f**k them both….you didn’t want me and you wanted her and my kid….so you f***ing look after them….don’t expect your ex to top up your incomes .it should be my parogative and privilege to spend my money on my daughter the way I see fit. In my book I owe her nothing…they should bring her up…I would be happy to pay for new school uniforms,holidays,school trips and any other things my daughter ask me for…at least then I see my money being spent on my daughter
Gonk
I also agree with a lot you say. I can see both sides you know. There should be a fairer system. I’m sure fathers that are honest get screwed over because of the amount of fathers doing everything to avoid. It isn’t fair I know but they do have a lot to answer for I’m sure.
When I said absent fathers should contribute I don’t necessarily mean CSA, just in some way if possible.
I was left with 2 children, 1 3 years old and 1 just 7 months, he would not contribute in any way and I almost lost our home. He didn’t care, said he would love to see us homeless and so I had no alternative but to get help. And before anyone says it’s my fault, it wasn’t, he didn’t keep his d*ck in his trousers!
I LOVE THIS SITE … IT ENTERTAINS ME DAILY LOL
GONK … U ARE MY FAVE LOL
Lol….Ritchie
Glad to entertain, it’s good that some can get amusement fro some of the crap replies on here.
Gonk
Well REMO have helped me and the australian CSA are now telling him to pay the arrears owed to my daughters so their money has not been lost yet.
Went to the bank this morning and the csa has just about wiped my wages they are a bunch of cunts i was paying it weekley then they stopped cos it all changed a bit ago they fucking know how much i earn so why the fuk for months have they not got the right information of my emplyer wot they had in the first place .havnt seen my kids in 11 years cos that bitch took them after shagging the next door neighbour typical slag and after all these years iam still the bad cunt in all this shes a fucking doley and he is i know i have to pay for my childern but to take all my fucking wages is a joke while my ex n that twat whos with her just keep fucking smoking and drinking on my money the kids wont see a penny of it i know wot shes like this is to you u robbing bunch of disrespctive bastards and if anything happends from this wot yoy have done to me it will be your fault remeber that csa wankers