As a man do I have no rights to see my child?

March 22, 2011

My name is Mario and i am 27.

Five years ago i thought i was going to settle for good, i thought i had found her. Was i wrong…..? We had Layla, beautifful perfect little girl, blue eyes, dark blonde hair, and a cracking personality, very bright and curious about everything. I couldnt have asked better from a daughter.

3 months ago me and partner split up for various reasons, so she takes Layla with her 200 miles away, i asked the police if they could stop her but they actually smirked at me and said nothing could be done, “she is the mother”. Now, i understand that women have priority to take the kids since its in a women`s nature to be caring and also because of the bond that they make during the 9 months, but dont they need men to have kids in the first place???Are we men nothing but sperm machines??Have we no rights in our offsprings lifes??

Do we loose the right that has been given to us by GOD or something else if we are to poor to afford a proper family solicitor?? The fact in my situation is that after my partner`s maternity leave ended, she had to return to work doing 4 6 hour shifts a week and because she has qualifications and could make enuff for the 3 of us, i was beeing a full time dad, morning feeds, nappies, winding all of it, i did it all and never once picked a book up, i can say i was good at beeing a father not because i did it all, but because i never once lost my temper doing it. I spent 1 whole year and a couple months doing this routine 5 days a week, not to mention house chores etc, and i got so attached to Layla that never once it even crossed my mind that i could lose her.

Moving on, I am affraid now of even doing anything legal to see my daughter for 3 reasons:

  1. I cant afford the courts and stuff since my average wage a week comes to £120+15 from housing benefits
  2. My ex is claiming all the benefits a single non working mother is entitled to (with NVQ3) and as such the CSA might come to me and ask more money that i dont have
  3. Just the price to travel 200 miles in a car train or coach is well beyond what i can afford these days

Now you tell me what is a guy that was born abroad like me can do in a time like this except suffer??

Thank you for reading


  • karl garrett says:

    Simple..NO. remember this small phrase.. shut up, put up, cough up… as a bloke you are stuffed. Women have all the power & control.

  • gambit says:

    Mario, please ignor Karl, that is a pointless, unhelpfull comment! Not all Mothers are trying to control.

    As you are on a low income, you will be entitled to full legal aid, I get this myself, and my lawyer is fantastic, IF you need to go to court, you will also be entitled to legal aid.

    Do you have any contact with your daughter at the moment? If not, do you feel your ex partner will be reasonable in allowing you contact? There is always a way round these things, you DO have rights as a father, whether from this country or not, and you ARE entitled to help.

    If you can speak to your ex partner to come to an agreement on when you can see your daughter, do, if not, see a lawyer now, that provides legal aid, they will advise you on everything you need to do to initiate contact with your daughter, you will probably have to provide some kind of financial support to your daughter, but considering your wage, it won’t be a huge amount of money I shouldn’t think, and also, if you are looking after your daughter overnight, you will pay less as you are also caring for her.

    Please don’t think the situation is hopeless, see a lawyer, get the right advice, and fight for your daughter.

    I wish you all the best, and hope you can find a solution as soon as possible 🙂

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