joanne says:

It would be your daughter that’s entitled to the money….and poor child, you shouldn’t be listening to a 10 year old or putting her in that position of finding out about your exs financial affairs….if you are struggling then tell your ex yourself, don’t get the little girl liasing in matters like this, its not fair as she is too young to understand.

Hayley says:

Unfortunatly you are not entitled to any redundancy payments.

I do NOT agree with the above comments and would like to ask them, have they ever brought any children up on there own?
Personally i have two children i support, and YES i do work. However a child has a dad and ultimately he should contribut to HIS childs upbringing also?
Or do you believe it is right to have children and not support them after the age of ten?

A ten year old picks things up and often over hears comments etc, i do not believe for one moment this lady is using her child mearly listening and panicking about her child, being able to afford to pay the house for her room, or the school dinners, uniform, clubs, maybe childcare if she works?

I would ask re money-if he is not forthcoming i would speak to csa and advise your solicitor accordingly. Proof may have to be supplied re terms of his contract and why they ended. If he isnt working he should be making a contribution from his benefit as all absent parents (either female or male) should be contributing to there child dependant on there income (working or benefits)

janet says:

Terry norris gives his opinion on here quite often and comes accross as a dead beat dad

Peter says:

Supperb answers, glad not to be the only father wondering why everything is stacked against him… Well doneJoanne and Tony 🙂

Olga says:

I disagree with some of the things that had been wrote. I was married for thirty odd years, he went off cheated on me for ten years or so in all that time he drank got very violent verbal abuse was cruel mean and very selfish, I brought up our four children worked but because of all what went on I had some kind of breakdown, spend 17 months in hospital because off his narcisstic ways, so you think that the wife who devoted all those years, should not get any redundany, pensions, or other assets that I know he has, taken my money while in hospital left me nothing while he is having a better life.

John says:

I have paid every month for my children – 350 quid for the last nine years whilst my ex lords it up in a 300 grand house with her new family. If there was any hint of her getting her hands on my hard earned redundancy payment i would spunk it all on the 3:30 dead beat ‘NAG’ at haydock park! It galls me that these women have the audacity to make some misguided claim and now the government increase the time we have to pay to 20yrs old!!! Its a screwed up system that needs much more thought given to individual needs and circumstances that might allow some degree of fairness on both sides!!

Olga says:

This is for the men who think its there right to have an affair while he cheats and has a good time dinning the mistress buying her things, taking her away, when a wife devotes her life to the man who choose her to be his wife, they have children the man goes to work and provides for his family? But the wife ?who both decided to have children has a great deal more to do not only the house work bringing up the children , being the nurse when the children are ill? Women have also to go out too work? They help they provided for ther family, but when you get a man who just thinks you are here for only him, expecting us to wait on them? What about the other spouse? Men are just selfish. They don’t respect the wife, my husband was a abussive arrogant mean cruel and not to forget the drinking and having his children watching him attack their mother verbally and mentally psychically, our life was hell always
shouting yelling using the most vile name calling. Kept me and the children in constant fear? You men think its ok to lay a finger on your wife and family? You disgusted me? God did not make man to take A wife and abuse her? He wanted them to show love, caring, making each other happy! Supporting each other be there for each other, make his wife feel that she was safe and his children in a secure home? The trouble with most men they feel threaten by there partners? While the man uses his power to control and manipulate his love ones? Why … i see a great deal of women who have been throught the domestic horror? Caused by the person temper there drinking, the showing us that we are worthless? I know that this also applies for women abusing men? But don’t forget? That a man has much more strength, he can easily kill his spouse in a drunken rage or just because off his
jealous or his temper which we all have to learn to control. We all have choices? Usually the children are affected in what they have seen? They find it difficult to trust men, they even end up in that kind of relasthionship? some men just can’t show there feelings, tell the wife if there is something wrong? Worrying about things but won’t tell you why? Drawing away from you, making you feel inferior off them, communication is the key to making it work? But again they will make excuses, saying you are nagging, you don’t understand me? Well then they will blame you and of course they might meet another woman while working or going out? Then it’s my wife does not do this, does not understand me? She is not a good wife, she does not make me happy? I have heard it all? I was married to him for over thirty years, and I found out he was cheating on me since our son was 13? This is to the man Paul who thinks women or cheeky cows? I could call you more? But I am a lady? I put in all these years, gave him help stood by him showed him love? Cherished him did his washing when he came back home after he had been with his mistress? Women get the raw end of all this? They deserve to have a better life? He took everything I nearly lost my children, my roof over my head, But he did not want the responseibity and just did not care where I would live or his son? Because she wanted everything? So don’t you dare say that we should not have the pensions, assets, bonds, are anything that we have earned? You try living that kind of life? See how you cope?

Dan says:

I’m a father who doesn’t get to see his son because his mother is a selfish woman who doesn’t want to share him. She says she doesn’t think of me as his dad but then she’s happy to take maintenance payments from me every month. Although she doesn’t let me be a father to our son, I’m doing wag I can by helping support him. Then there’s women like you that use the child as a pawn in a power game. Go and get a job, she is your responsibility too.

Lisa says:

@ Talli if your working and your husband isn’t earning usually that would mean nil assessment, on CS2 they don’t take your earnings into account at all, and im almost sure they cannot touch his redundancy pay either, make sure you do it all in writing, then the CSA cannot say they haven’t got it,
http://www.facebook.com/groups/204256966364149/ Join this group for more advice and guidance

Ian hand says:

I have paid for my son for the past 14 years through the csa. Never missed a payment. His mum left when I was at work without any warning and took my son. She claims every benefit known to man and works 16 hours per week to enable her to keep claiming. My wages lasts almost til the end of the month. I cannot claim any benefits or get any support. My son and his mum enjoy the full sky package and not a small amount of designer clothing. My point is why do alot of women seem to think that the father should be financially ruined just so they can live a comfortable life. Bringing up a child is not easy I agree, but I give my ex more money each month than I have to live on. We have now been informed by the departing csa that we need to come to a financial agreement between us. Why do I get the feeling this is going to cost me more. The CSA has ruined many lives, driven men to suicide and only caused bad feeling when they get involved. So heavily weighted against the ‘absent father’. Sickens me when I see women taking everything they can just to punish their ex. I’ve had my son used as a tool to get at me. ‘If you don’t pay you won’t see him’ is not unusual. Over £30,000 has gone to my ex from me in csa payments . Plus the £20,000 secured loan on my property that helped clear all her debts just before she left. Duped?? I think so.