Abusive mother forces my partner to pay for her child

October 1, 2011

Hello, my partner needs help. He has come to this decision by him self, and I have no influenced it at all. The reason why I am posting, is because I am curious as to know what his rights are.

He was with his ex partner about a year ago, and were together for roughly two years. They never married.

She basically stopped taking her pill, throwing it away before work each morning, and only when my partner found out she was doing this was when she became pregnant. She became pregnant at the age of 17, and my partner thinks it’s because she hated living with her parents and wanted to get a council flat by her self (which she has got) He begged her for an abortion because the relationship was extremely violent, she was extremely physically abusive to him, and now I have to look at the scars on his body because of her.

The thing is, as soon as she had the baby, she didn’t even wait to break up with him before contacting the CSA, and forcing him to pay when they were still living together! Soon after she found a new boyfriend, got rid of my partner and denied access to the child absolutly no reason. So now he is paying for a child that he didn’t even want, put effort into an extremely abusive relationship which he wanted to leave from, and can’t even see the child.

He stuck around in this abusive relationship to care for a child that he didn’t even want or ask for.

The other night, when we were out having drinks, his ex was there. She decided to confront us, and laugh in his face telling him that his CSA money pays for her makeup and a new phone. She says she doesn’t even need it because of her rich parents and was sarcastically thanking him for getting her pregnant.

I think this is disgusting on her behalf, useing a childs life to change her own, and gain more money. She doesn’t even have a child for half of the week and lets her mother look after it.

Me and my partner have been doing some research and have found that signing over parental rights, and then facilitating adoption upon the fathers side would stop payment to the CSA. Is this true?

I just find it horrific, that for a child he only saw for a month or two, which he was raped for, now has to be paid for until it’s an adult. Just because she tricked him into getting her pregnant for her own gain.


  • Leanne jones says:

    What a disgrace you and your partner are! Ok the ex is no angel but to think u can sign over adopt erc is disgusting! Pay up

  • JP says:

    he wasn’t raped you idiot, he didn’t use contraception and she got pregnant, that’s what happens! The child is still a person and still needs paying for, how horrible are the pair of you you should be ashamed!

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