We use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. We do this to improve browsing experience and to show (non-) personalised ads. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behaviour or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes.
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Perhaps those same absent fathers are sick to death of resident mothers denying them any relationship with their children …..
My ex wife has seen fit to plunder the benefit system, the outcome of which landed her with a bill from HMRC for £7,000 that she had over claimed with her usual lies and deceit I have seen the evidence at a tribunal….or am I am being scammed by the CSA who deliberately ‘make up’ a large bill and plant it at the tribunal to make it look like she has over claimed? Call me a sceptic!
I re-established contact with one of my sons and assisted him financially (on top of paying maintenance), all I heard from his mother was ” where is he getting his money from?” aimed at me!………hhh.mmmm none of your business ex-wife!
When I got stitched up with a £6,400 bill from the CSA because of THEIR mistake, I told my son to speak to his mother and the CSA, and I broke contact with him. Not very adult like, I know…………….but I had all ready had enough of these incompetent amateurs, and am fed up to the back teeth of bailing out my ex-wife and she plunders her way through the benefit system, unchecked!
If she can’t handle OUR children, pass them to me and I will deal with them. Then perhaps she can join in with the real world, and work full time to make a living and provide for OUR children, as I have done!
If you don’t like what I said, I am sorry……….but I am telling it the way it is….and the way I see it!
brokenfather and john you i could not put it better myself well said .
Its not as easy as that I want to see my kids and pay over 100 pounds a week but the evil mums use kids as weapons against fathers and don't allow access
Just think Lesley.. there are many, many fathers out there who have “upped ” their game but are now living in poverty because the CSA are robbing them blind.
I agree that they should be going after the non-payers but that will never happen..Too much like hard work for them.
Its far to easy to go after the soft targets the good guys who do pay, who want to see their children have the best start in life.. hell they even want to see their children in the first place… but because a bitter greedy money grabbing ex makes it beyond impossible to see her ex happy, then what choice is left to these good guys…
Another thing dont forget, women can also be classed as an absent parent as well… and as the old saying goes, what is good for the goose is good for the gander..
what makes them evil do you think???
My husband pays for his children and hasn't seen em in years and my ex has never paid a penny for my kids each time I tried to gt money frm him he quit his job
Both parents are responsible for both looking after and providing for their children. Unfortunately we are still dealing with the legacies from Margaret Thatcher – Fathers have no responsibility for their children and they must be prevented from spending money on them. Hence the CSA which takes 50% of fathers' salaries and fails to give the money taken to the children or their mother. And sort the blatantly discriminitory DSS and Housing depts which only provide benefit to single mothers with children and refuse to assist single fathers with children and two parent families. This Government must now bring a presumption of shared residence and sort out our totally currupt legal system that actively promotes the abuse of our children. Sort the legal system out and the need for a CSA ceases to exist!
The CSA was a good idea. Thatcher was right! however by the time it went into force she had been gone for 3 years. We have had 4 PMs since. Nobody has addressed the flaws…
My ex owes £42,000 and not seen his children in nearly 7years all because he has a problem with me but then I gave him unlimited access for him to take me to court to see less of them for that too dwindle out completely, and just to add the csa have no enforcement to make him pay weekly and being self employed doesn't help either!
My ex doesn't see his children because of his evil new partner – my case is with ICE for a 3rd time because of CSA errors. The CSA have finally managed to get DOE which has been working for a couple of months at a reasonable amount – To my surprise the ICE worker suggested bailiffs 2 recover the arrears I fail 2 understand how this would help if he's making contributions & the arrears are due to the CSA errors. Even though I hate his new partner I don't find this an acceptable way of dealing with this situation.
No, Thatcher was wrong. She set up the CSA not to provide money for children but to cover up the blatant incompetence of the DSS. Taking the very money fathers ere using for their children and keeping it. It should never have interfered in existing cases and completely fails to do anything about the feckless fathers which she promissed to do something about and the single mothers who get benefit and housing for life by getting pregnant with no intention of ever involving the father! It is our currupt legal system that needs sorting out, ordering contact between children and fathers, and taking appropriate action when either party refuses to comply. Both parents must contribute for their children and taking that money away from the family by the CSA is not the anwer. Scrap it and scrap it now!
I agree with the CSA in principle. I also agree that fathers who are already paying should never be touched! the problem lay with verloopholes, which have never been sorted. And as they never will, it should be scrapped.
No it should not have been taken away from the Courts. Due to this, so many do not get the correct money or any money, as the Courts could use contempt is the info not given, or they would use the powers to get the money i.e. garnishee order but the CSA are reluctant to do anything, do not have the experience to deal with it and even when the money is shown to be owed, do nothing about it, bailiffs are useless as they will take the smallest amount as long as they get paid! A specific court system should be set up so Judges have the powers to put the ones who wont pay in prison and the ones who cant pay, pay what they can only. I could run it better!!
I agree Karen. The idea was good, it was worth try. It failed…so should have returned to the courts years ago!
Dear Brokenfather, Graeme and John,
What I would really like to know is, what do you think a reasonable weekly amount to contribute to your child’s upbringing would be?
£5.00, might cover their football club subs?
£10.00, might cover their lunches for a week?
£15.00 – might get them a pair of school shoes, if you really shop around…..
Or you do you think their Mother should bear full financial responsibility as well as full 24/7 responsibility for the next however many years.
Whether employed or not, they are working forever to keep a roof over their head, feed and clothe them, and keep them happy and healthy, with the aded difficulty of the effects that marriage break-up has on kids.
It’s not a case of the nice guys paying. Just because you pay what you are legally obliged to pay doesn’t make you nice! The fact that you have to deal with the CSA in the first place says it all. If you were “nice”, you wouldn’t have to deal with them at all, because you would have offered a reasonable amount of payment to the upkeep of your child and your ex wouldn’t have had to contact the CSA.
At the end of the day, the money is for the children. So many men think that the money goes on handbags. Get real. It costs a lot of money to look after children, and even more to look after them well.
regards
keepyermoney
Sounds great Karen, however the laws must change to start from an even standing. Who would willingly co-operate with a system which is still going to be unfair from the outset? Exchanging the CSA for the courts is better but still not the best solution, it really shouldn't get to court in the first place! BOTH parents should pay for their children and the CHILD (it should be presumed they want both parents involved in the first place) should have the option to have both parents equally involved in their life.
If there is joint parental responibility whether there is contact or not (for whatever reason) there should be joint financial as well. Its bloody expensive raising children, its already cost me £153 since September just in school trips, PGL deposit and equipment! Any father who point blank refuses to pay for their children deserves every moment of misery because they obviously dont give a sod about them. They are the ones the csa were set up for not the loving caring fathers who are paying through the nose for their kids in time and money and dont winge at what theyre going without. Going to court and having each case judges on its merit would be better…but only if there was ridiculous court fees!! Ironic though that the csa cant make my ex pay his £23k liability order yet the council tax can take me to court for an outstanging £100. Typical of this damn country…. companies and property are more important than the quality of human life. Very sad.
(for whatever reason)??? If the PWC denies you contact without good reason, they should be jailed for say 7 days, that'll wake them up! As for going to court, the PWC should be denied legal aid and have to pay there own legal bill if it is found that they are refusing contact without good reason.Totally agree otherwise, so long as PWC is contributing towards the cost of benefits (a part time job for instance), then a fair contribution from the NRP should come through.Welcome to capitalism, money money money…..
Lesley please leave your comments on my website http://www.theydeservebetter.co.uk.
And a message for John its not always as plain an simple as you may think, there are other views and stories that are different from yours. I work, study an HNC at College and look after 2 children. My ex husband runs around in a nice car, has bought a house and goes on holidays, lies about working and doesnt pay a penny. Regardless of who is scamming what benefits, everyone is missing the point. Absent mothers and fathers regardless if they see there children or not, should pay. And if the Custodial parent is not letting the absent parent see the children for reasons that are not justified then it is only a reflection on them as a person, and should fight for their rights. Just like I am fighting for my childrens rights to have both their parents financially and emotionally support them. It’s the children that are suffering here. The CSA is failing in it’s duties whichever way you look at it.
Graeme you are absolutely right absent parents can be men and women and my website highlights this. I am fighting the cause for children, the one’s that can’t fend for themselves.
Yes…. (for whatever reason)!!!! In a two month mad fit, my ex dislocated my collar bone, pushed my then 5yr old into a chest of drawers and broke his nose and was physical with my other two children. A few days after the last assault he left for another woman, never to be seen again and divorced me for unreasonable behaviour! I work my arse off to pay for my kids and pay a mortgage and am still overdrawn at the end of each month. He should bloody well pay for them as he earns 3x more than me and if it was through the courts he should pay both our costs. If the csa focused on all the arseholes like him or vindictive pwc's they wouldnt have time to hound all the decent parents out there.Not every pwc denies contact, some men just throw their kids away like a dirty old chip packet when they think the grass is greener somewhere else.Completely agree with your comments re: pwc's who deny contact for no good reason. But also, there are some nrp's who revel in causing aggravation for their exes not thinking how this affects their children. I despair of the human race.
D
Dear Keep your money.
Mnay thanks for your post on this topic.
I am am one of the good guys who loves his child, who pays his csa on time everymonth and to what they want. My ex and I have been through the annimosity of he said she said. Countless times I have asked my ex to drop the case and I would pay a reasonable amount for the upkeep, the feeding , the clothing of my son. But she is determined to go through the CSA.
i know how much it takes. When i drive the 125 miles to see my son and the 125 miles back to where I reside , oh and I have to put fuel in the car as well, fuel doesnt grow on trees, take him out for the day, feed him, buy him excess gifts, whether it be clothes shoes games etc… these little costs all mount up.
I also pay for his horse riding lessons every year.I also contribute to his holidays, I also contribute to some of his after school clubs, I also contribute to his activities… geee i guess I am just a normal loving caring father. Like many other on here whho do the exact same as what I do. I have done thisfor the last 10 years. I have no qualms about doing this – it is my responsibility. One that i take great pride in doing.Unlike a lot of other men and women who shirk their responsibilities. I f my ex phones up xxxx needs new shoes I will transfer some money to her account to help her out. Similarly if xxxx needs new clothes etc the same thing will happen. This is all on top of what i have to pay to the CSA.
So please I know how much it costs. My gripe with the agency is of no concern to you.
I think whoever wrote this should be hanged really ! – You clearly have only a very linear grasp of what people go through at the hands of the CSA.
Try reading through some of the articles men have wrote on here and you will see how badly men want to take responsibility for there kids.
I think you mean to say ‘absent parent’ or are you completely sexist? Men AND women can be good or bad parents and yes the bad ones need a good shake up. None of it has anything to do with the csa who are only involved ith collecting money. Our whole system of divorce law needs changing, children are not pawns in a game of financial brinkmanship, they are little versions of us and deserve our respect and care. It doesnt matter what sex you are, what matters is that you have the ability and right to maintain contact following a divorce, and are left with enough money in your pocket to enjoy life with your kids.
j
Hear Hear, we woul;d love to contribute to our kids and be part of their lives, the CSA refuse to let this happen and when they constantly cock up it takes forever to sort out, this is time in your kids lives you will never get back.
Stuart:- Do not let the CSA stand in your way. Come to a private agreement with your PWCs and get them to close your cases.
Wilf that would mean the PWC has to make that choice, I have none, and untill the CSA refund the £7.5k they have admitted taking in error i will continue to fight them and any who claim they do a good service. As my kids are 17 now only a year to go, but redress has taken 4 years and counting.