A year chasing the CSA for money and ex quit his job to escape

November 15, 2011

I waited 10 years to get any money out of my ex. I was the PWC at the time and after a year I was finally awareded a montly amount, It was quite a lot and becuase im to bloody soft I told the CSA they should reduce it or I will give half back to my daighters dad as it was nore than enough and I knew he was struggling. I dont know why i was so soft, I suppose I wanted to protect my daughter as he would take his moods out on her when he was broke, he never bought her clothes, never really did much with her since she was born, I left him when she was 10 months old and I then started working to earn some money and bring my daughter up how I felt was right. She had dancing classes, lovely holidays, nice clothes and all because of me and my earnings. I did want him to pay his way as lets face it he is a parent too! just because he wasn’t with us didn’t mean he shouldnt want to pay towards her keep, even if he had bought her a few bits and possibly some pocket money each week I would have been grateful but there was nothing. the contact was open as I always said he is her dad and no matter what I felt about him that didnt give me the right to stand in the way of their relationship so she could see him when ever and vice versa as it was the right thing to do.

After a year chasing the CSA and the award came through he then dodged the CSA and then finally quit his job so I was awarded £5 a month. It did leave me bitter as he was such a bad influenec on our daughter in her early years often blaming his sad existance of a life on her and telling her it was her fault his life was so shite! Not once did i bad mouth him in front of her as the way I looked at it was that she was getting enough name calling about me from her dad and I certainly didnt want to add to that and stress her out so I kept quiet. Needless to say she always believed him and took it out on me.

She is now 17 and at college and resides with her father, she has been there since September and I have now been slapped with a CSA order although I have been paying for her college books and this year bought her new summer and winter clothes as well as paying her mobile bill and handing over pocket money of £30 a month. I hate to say it but I am really annoyed and hurt that I will have to effectively hand over £200 a month to him and I have absolutely no doubt he will spend thsi money on his girlfriend and their 2 other kids as they are constantly broke. The girlfriend once accused me of spoiling my daughter and then questioned how I managed to go on holidays! I simply said “because I work!!!!” she and ex are not working and are flat broke but they get the Child benefit for my daughter which is £80 a month. seeing as I provide monery and clothes and anything else but food for our daughter I fear that If the CSA put an attachment on my earnings I will have to quit my job as they don’t take into account any debts or bills I pay which I find ridiculous! I am not getting any benefits while working and I would rather hand over another £80 a month to the ex just to get the CSA off my back. Funny how they took 10 years to find him and he quit his job without any questions raised to go onto benefits and I work hard, pay my way and support my daughter.

Sick to death of the ex as he really has been a low life and loser and doenst deserve to have kids. I might take him to court for neglect and verbal mental abuse he has caused over the years as my human right were effected and after all these years I am still not over his abuse, not forgetting the one time he punched me in the face because he didn’t have enough money for a can of lager! hence why i left him. Any ideas what I can do here about this scumbag and the CSA?


  • Mick says:

    Welcome to the world of what the decent NRP who works and pays their way has to put up with. The good news for you is that as it stands at present, with your child being 17. They can only make you pay upto her 19th birthday. So at least you only have to suffer these fools for less than 2 years. You could try to reason with your ex and get a private arrangement up and running between you both. sadly tho, i doubt hes going to want to accept any less now than what the CSA are nailing you for. PWC on benefits arent gouing to voluntarily vote themselves are pay cut are they. My ex certainly didnt.

    Now for the bad news. The newly formed Child Maintenanace enforcement Commision CMEC who will eventually take over the running of the CSA in its current format are toying around with the idea of a new payment formula for NRPs. Instead of them hitting you for 15% of your nett income for 1 child as is the current arrangement, they want to start taking 12% from your gross income. Which in some cases means the NRP will end up shelling out even more. Not many NRPs will pay less for it, of that you can be sure. So my advice to you is simple, try and reach a private arrangement and get them off your back ( CSA ) if you can a.s.a.p.

    And last but not least, the part that will really piss you off. Your ex having 3 kids under his roof doesnt just get child benefit for them. They are also entitled to child tax credit as well which works out roughly at £60 per child per week. Is it any wonder he has no interest in getting a job! Rent and council tax paid gfopr them, 3 lots of child benefit and tax credit plus JSA for him and probably income support for her, then add any maintenance coming in from you on top. All of it tax free courtesy of you last labour government. Talk about buying their vote! Maintenance has,nt been deducted from benefits since april 2010. Thats when the law changed. they keep everything now.

    Pleas believe me when i say i do feel for you at the moment. i had to put up with the CSA for 8 years! The only other suggestion i can make to you if you cant work out a reasonable agreement with your ex, is play him at his own game!

  • Antony says:

    Makes me wonder WHY she now resides with her father if he is the lowlife you have made him out to be.

    it sounds to me like another moaning whinging ex wife who simply can’t move on, and seems jealous and bitter her ex husband is now with someone else.

    My experience with the ex wife and CSA is I was at university as a mature student and went nto a community working post. Not great pay at all and I was self employed. 3 assessments proved that i had a nil contribution to pay, although I enjoyed a fantastic relationship with my 3 sons, they stayed with me regularly, I paid them pocket money, school trips. school lessons costs, clothes the lot. I even gave her £100 a week in cash. I paid the mortgage each month on the matrimonial house and also paid for shopping, food and other monies the ex asked for. This was all (I recently discovered) while she was living high on the benefits, and not declaring the cash I was giving to her. She moved a homeless window cleaner who was a wheeler dealer in dodgy second hand washing machines into the house and benefitted from his cash as well. It was all inclusive 4 star holidays to Cyprus and America for her.

    However, as soon as I met another partner, she went beserk and when my Mum died, she found out who the estate solicitor was and reported me to the CSA that she’d been abandoned with no cash or support. The CSA backdated all of the supposed money owing (assessing me as an employed person and disregarding all of my business expenses), and slapped me with a bill for … wait for it … £23,000!! They were even calculating for two sons who were aged 22 and 20! It took me almost a year to make them realise they couldnt include the 20 and 22 year olds, but still claimed £16,500. They have also claimed £6,300 at £107.15 a week for a 17 year old at college with a grant and £30 a week pocket money from me. The CSA lied to the magistrates to gain a liability order and have made my life a complete nightmare. They have even taken a freezing order against my inherritance money (not a large amount) at my Mum’s estate’s solicitors.

    The appeal tribunal was a complete farce and waste of time. The stalking ex wife evengot her idiot window cleaning new husband to drive 173 miles to stnad outside my house window and gawp in at me… the CSA had leaked my address I’d kept secret from her for 4 years, and she hopped straight in the car to harass me again. 15 years divorce, but she just wont let it lie. Wont leave me alone. She has turned one of my sons against me very nastilly, proving that if you drip feed someone poison for long enough, they will eventually become toxic.

    I have written at least 48 complaints to the CSA but they just wont listen, that they worked out my assessments wrong and the money is not owing to the ex wife. Nor did they take into account all the cash I’d paid out to support my sons, or the money she was fiddlign from the benefits, not declaring my financial support to them. She has lied, manipulated and schemed her way with the CSA acting as her private debt collection agency. They are an organisation out of control and they just dont care. They just listen to the lies and complaints of mentally disturbed, bitter, envious ex partners who think they have a right to make people’s lives misery.

    The only way, is to keep fighting and battling on. Put your house into a limited company name (the CSA tried to seize the house I inherrited through a charging order and order for sale, but of course, a limited company is a person in law, and owns the property, not the persecuted NRP)… costs £20 for company formation and £200 for lad registry fees… bloody worth it though. PLUS you have to write to the Independent Complaints Examiner (ICE) and hammer the CSA with maladministration, wrongful pursuance, wrong calculations, the lot! You can even get compensation if the ICE find anything that supports your case against the CSA. Ask your MP to get involved in your case – a little known fact is that MPs have a specially dedicated telephone contact and CSA officer to respond to their complaints. FInally, you can go to the Parliamentary Ombudsman with your complaints/case. They act in a judicial capacity and the CSA must be bound by the Ombudsman’s ruling.

    DO NOT GIVE UP! If a moaning, whingeing, unreasonable and vindictive greedy ex wife tries to make you dance to her tune and that of the CSA, play the system and the rules. Fight back and hammer them. Do not let them get away with legalised cash rape.

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