A message for the CSA on family values

19 thoughts on “A message for the CSA on family values”

1. Are you actually serious? Have you ever been in a position where you can barely feed your kids, regardless of tax credits? Apparently not! Please believe me, if I could feasably live without asking my ex partner to help financially I would, as it stands, he does not, and I have to rely on my parents helping me out financially, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to afford to pay my rent, as unlike some people, I do actually work for a living, but the wage is not great when you have to choose hours to suit children in school, an issue, that does not stop my ex partner working. I am also studying in my spare time to get a better job, so I CAN tell my ex, I don’t actually want his money.

   No, it doesn’t bring love to the kids, but it would put dinner on the table!!!!

2. I will be quick as I cant be bothered to give you a full reply, but yes I have 3 kids that live with me and I do know what its like to struggle and let me tell you when your Missus cheats on you then leaves you and takes you daughter away from you, then the CSA come knocking and take all your money away that you are using to try and feed the ones that are living with you and your new wife, thats right i am not a deadbeat dad I am a loving father so you cant beat me up on here because i would rather spread a message of love than of money, I love all my children and I pay for all of them but let me tell you this, they only really appreciate the time i spend with them not the money I spend on them. No single parent will starve if they work, or if they recieve benifits, tax credits etc… but some greedy people get all of this and CSA money too, well that money is coming from mee and its leaving my 3 kids broke, yes i work full time before you decide I am a lazy good for nothing bloke, the CSA have fucked me over and my wife and my kids, I cant even see my non resident daughter anymore!!! WHY YOU MAY ASK??? Because the greedy PWC doesnt give a fuck about the other 3 kids or their welfare neither does the CSA and they give her more money because she has taken her 386 miles away to live and i cant FIND HER!!!!!!!!! DO NOT PREACH TO ME ABOUT YOUR SHITTY SITUATION I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR A TOTAL IDIOT WITH THEIR EYES WIDE SHUT LECTURING ME ON BRINGING UP KIDS WITHOUT ANY MONEY!!! HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU SUPPORT???? IS IT 3 LIKE ME????? PLUS ONE YOU’LL NEVER GET TO SEE AGAIN???? IS IT!!!!!!! PISS OFF YOU IDIOT YOU HAVE CAUGHT ME ON A REALLY BAD DAY!!!! I TOTALLY AND UTTERLY RESERVE THE RIGHT TO PUT THIS POST ON AS I BELEIVE ITS THE ONLY REAL TRUTH INALL OF THIS, I MAY HAVE NO MONEY BUT MY KIDS ARE LOVED AND THEY KNOW IT AND THIS MESSAGE IS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MADE TO FEEL THAT IF THEY CANT PAY THAT THEY ARE BAD PARENTS, THEY ARE NOT BAD PARENTS AT ALL THEY ARE AMAZING PEOPLE THAT CARRY THE WORLD ON THEIR SHOULDERS AND ITS ABOUT TIME SOMEONE WAS ALLOWED TO SPEAK WORDS OF COMFORT TO THEM AS I HAVE DONE IN MY COMMENT ABOVE BEFORE ANYMORE OF THEM DECIDE TO END IT ALL AND KILL THEMSELVES LIKE THE PREVIOUS 61 VICTIMS OF GREED!!! I would like add that i am also proud of you for working hard to help support yourself and your children and for having the guts to do it yourself you’ve obviously had a bad NRP sorry for that and good for you for not just giving up :0). sorry for having a go but you’ve touched a very raw nerve in me.

   Paul

3. Paul i agree in most of what you say!
   Most children are not even aware of money, but they are aware of the attention they get. When i was younger we did’nt have alot of money, we got our clothes from jumble sales had free school meals etc, i was’nt even aware i was that different from better off. kids. What i really looked forward to was seeing my dad on the weekend and just having fun. PWC’s with older kids are under alot of pressure from society and the kids, Kids from broken homes these days expect the same level of comfort that they recieved when the family was together.
   I read alot on the site about nrps being shut out of there childrens lives and can’t understand why some pwc’s feel the need to do this, just like i can’t for the life understand why some nrps dont feel the need to have a relationship with there children! Surely everyones lives would be enhanced if the children had constant contact with both mum and dad. I do agree you don’t need money to show the kids that you love them!

4. Thank you chickpea, we didnt see eye to eye the last time we spoke but I will put that behind me in light of your kind words. I wasnt defending people who can pay and choose not to, I was speaking for those who are paying and are broke as a result and that when all you have is love in your heart and nothing in your pocket, your kids, wether they live with you or not will appreciate just the quality time you have with them, a phone call or a letter. we all express ourselves in different ways, I find money is a false expression of love and that is the point I was trying to make and you rightly understood that so thank you :0)

   Paul

5. Gambit is that really your honest opinion? When I was a single parent supporting 2 children I worked full time took on a second weekend job and qualified for tax credits to help with my childcare costs, yes it was hard, yes we had to make sacrifices but YES we bloody managed, they were fed, clothed I paid the mortgage and bills and NO I didn’t need money from my ex. I wasn’t on a great salary but the government ensure you are provided with the amount you need to live on. If you are unable to provide your children with food I think you should take a long hard look at your lifestyle.

6. My lifestyle Christie? I work, and in my spare time I study, I don’t quite see how that means I need to take a look at my lifestyle??? You have no idea what money I get, and actually, the government does not cover all childcare costs, and certainly doesn’t give me a top up on my wages to give them everything they could have if I was getting money from my ex. Weekend work? Again, I don’t know any childminders that work weekends :S My parents don’t keep well, and I actually help care for them too if and when needed, aswel as my Grandfather who is in the later stage of bone cancer, so very sorry, but I don’t have much time to have a ‘lifestyle’ that strips me of my funds, ALL my money goes on living expenses, and my children you cheeky woman, how DARE you imply my lifestyle is the reason I struggle with money! Sorry, but even if I was ‘managing’ financially, why should i have to ‘manage’ alone? He brought them into the world too, why should he NOT support them financially? I’ll add, I am not a money grabbing bitch, I’ve never asked for a ton of cash, I’d be happy if he went out and bought them things, such as uniforms, clothes, etc, one of my kids is going to high school, is he to be the only one who can’t afford to go to the cinema with his mates at the weekends? Or a trip? Just because his Father can’t put his hand in his pocket? It’s not bloody cheap! And any money I have had in the past, has gone into an account for my kids, I thought, so I could pay for things like this in the future, however the payments stopped so there’s sod all left now other than the money I earn!

   Paul, I am not as you say, an idiot, and my eyes are wide open, however it seems yours are closed, to all but your situation, you chose to preach on this site, I am entitled to my opinion, and it’s all very well saying a child doesn’t need money, but that’s easy to say when it’s you that’s supposed to be providing it, and not the other way round. I am well aware a child needs love and time more than money. My children, of which I have 2, get everything from me, I have never stopped my ex from seeing them, but he takes the piss, he has a four bedroom house, 2 cars, and goes at least 4 holidays a year, yet pays sod all towards the upbringing of his kids! Yet refuses to spare even a tenner a week for them? Are you telling me that’s fair? And by the way, he picks and chooses when he sees them, if he’s got nothing better to do, but I have ALWAYS encouraged contact regardless, and my children, are now refusing to go to him, why? Because they’re sick of him messing them about, NOT because I’ve taken them away from him as your ex did.

   Sorry I touched a nerve Paul, please believe me, I know there are greedy RP’s out there that try to rob the NRP’s blind, I have seen it first hand, and I think it’s awful, but not all of us are like that. I do see what you mean, that you want to offer your daughter love and attention, and that’s great, but not all kids are that lucky, it’s a shame your ex has done what she has, it’s spiteful, and hurts her daughter more than anyone else, and I can’t understand why anyone would take their child away from a loving parent. However, this being a CSA website, primarily about maintenance, I’m looking at this from a financial point of view, and financially all I want is what’s fair, and like it or not, money does come into it, and NRP’s SHOULD be helping towards their children’s upbringing financially in someway. You say you have 3 kids to take care of plus one who doesn’t live with you? But you chose to bring them into this world, you can’t just walk away from the financial responsibility. Think about this, your daughter knows you support the 3 children that live with you, how do you think it would make her feel to know you don’t contribute to her upbringing? You can say all you like, a child needs love more than money, but like it or not, this WOULD have an effect on her.

   The whole system is totally unfair, reading stories on this site, it seems the NRP’s that are willing to support their kids financially, get the piss taken out them by the RP and the CSA, and 9 times out of 10, the RP uses the kids as weapons, saying you can’t see them if you don’t pay, then the ones who DON’T support the kids, get away with it, if the CSA got things right none of us would be here discussing this, the fact is they don’t, from both sides, and THAT is the issue.

7. And also Christie, I didn’t say my children don’t have food, I said a financial contribution from NRP’s would help put dinner on the table. I don’t let my kids go without food!!!

8. Gambit, I have to force myself to say i do agree with some of what you just said, I would like to add that I do pay for my Non resident Daughter, I would also like to ask you a question based on one of your statements…. “But you chose to bring them into this world” Well as harsh as this may sound, it does take 2 to make a child and what if the child was an accident, neither parent oringinally wanted a child, the father says he is not ready to be a father but the mother wont have an abortion? (I really dont agree with abortion I should add) what happens in this situation? Contraception is really the womans resposibilty (I know this is going to cause a fight but really think about it…) A woman knows if a man is using contraception for sure, you cant really miss it… a man will have to take a womans word for it that she is using contraception as its not something you can see often… A woman having sex with a man when she knows he is not wearing a condom and she knows she is not using anything either is the only person in that room 100% sure of the level of contraception being used? The Woman is also the one that will have to carry any baby that results in the lack of safe sex and give birth to them, they also are the only one who can make the choice of whether to keep the child or not? So in short Its way more than 50/50 from the woman to make a baby and bring it into the world… So as controversial as my veiw is, a man actually plays the smallest part in bringing a child into the world… He is not always sure of the level of contraception, the woman always is 100% sure, the man cant decide not to have the baby, the woman can decide not to have the baby… It looks more like a 25/75 from this angle… Now I know this is a very narrow point of veiw but I dont think anyone can avoid the fact that it is very accurate… My first child and the one I pay CSA for was not planned however even though I never get to see her I am really glad she is out there somewhere having a life and I really hope it is a good and happy one and that one day we’ll meet again… This is not the case for every NRP and the above scenario plays out in many Fathers who did not want the baby and dont want to know the child, it sounds horrible to us to think someone doesnt want their child or doesnt want to know their child, but people are people and some are built to be Mothers and Fathers and some simply are not… I was built to be a Father and wanted to be in a family and wanted to have children that I could watch grow up and teach them things and be proud of them in their school plays and to be there for them forever… I didnt choose to have my first because I didnt think the relationship with her mother would last but I dont regret her being born and I am glad she was, I chose to bring another into the world because I knew I was in love with the woman I was with and knew this was the right time to have a family, the other two children that live with me are not my own they are from my wifes previous marrage but I choose to love them as my own and bring them up in the absence of their real father, we dont get the CSA onto him or ask for any money from him because he too has a new family and we dont want the CSA to ruin that for them…
   We dont beleive in grudges and we simply beleive in making your own way in life and making the most of the ones you love… every minute i spend with my family is worth more than a million pounds to me..

   I know you need money to live but most of us have the money to live either from working / from the govenment or both, we make our own fun and it costs nothing… You cant put any of the people on this group into a box and assign a set of rules for them, it doesnt work as there are way too many multiples and variations to take into account, that is why the CSA although justified in its intentions fail misserably in their execution and cause so much pain to so many people, they target mainly to good NRP’s because they are easier to find and nail down, the real runaway parents who shun all resposibility where it is unfair that they do so, are the ones who get away with it (so to speak). I think the CSA just needs to be stopped, for every child brought from the brink of poverty by the CSA somewhere another child is put into poverty by the same agency, we are all human beings and our right to live with out “Danger” “Loss” Harm” and in Privacy are our constitutional rights set out in 1215 under comon law and upheld by the court of human rights, even section 2 of the CSA’s very own legislation states that these fundamentals must be taken into consideration and that “no case worker of the CSA must ever put any child at risk or in harms way” The CSA ignore this by bashing the life out of NRP’s new families even taking their homes away, A Judge recently commented on the CSA’s actions as being “Draconian” I would have to say that I agree whole heartedly with him… When you are on the recieving end of the CSA I can tell you, it feels like you are living in a third world dictatorship where your rights to live as a human being no longer apply to you, you feel worthless and powerless and to cap it all off you get branded as an NRP or a deadbeat dad, NRP is almost a dirty word these days and its so unfair… The CSA relies on the fighting between the PWC and the NRP to push the PWC to take more revenge by constantly watching the NRP spying on their lifestyle and work so they know how many holidays they are having how many cars they have and give the CSA more reasons to take even more money from them, the result is that the CSA’s figures look better (on paper) the case worker gets a nice bonus (£25 million in 2010 paid) and the government looks like its doing a great job… its all smoke and mirrors a mess of red tape and propergander… They use us against each other and it all boils down to revenue and votes at one end money for one family in the middle and often loss and poverty for the family at the bottom of the chain… Even PWC’s who gain from this system should loby to have it shut down, close your case with them, anyone using the CSA may be getting something from their ex which help your children but if you can live without it please do so, as by using this barbarick agency you are helping them keep going and they will keep hurting innocent children and innocent human beings as long as they have your support, PWC’s have all the power and they should realise this and realise they are not just hurting ex’s but everyone who is an NRP and all the wifes, girlfriends and most importantly the poor children caught up in all of this….

9. Gambit, in your first post you stated and I quote “Have you ever been in a position where you can barely feed your kids, regardless of tax credits? Apparently not” this implies that you have been in this position.

   You’re right I do not know your income but if you are relying on tax credits then your income will be roughly the same as any other single parent with two children, as I was, if you are not in reciept of tax credits then you are financially better off than most. I stand by what I originally posted that I worked hard, made sacrifices but ultimately I paid the mortgage, my bills and loans that my ex left me with ON MY OWN.

   You say your ex has a 4 bedroomed house, 2 cars and 4 holidays a year, why would you even know all this, I have absolutely no idea of my ex’s assets as he is my ex it is none of my business, do you keep a record of all your ex’s cars, holidays etc?

   To be fair from what you say it does appear that from the outside your ex’s lifestyle does appear to be able to accommodate some financial contribution towards his children, however if the situations were reversed would you still expect him to make a financial contribution?

   A lot of what you said in your last post I agree with but your first post was very one sided and judgemental. You ask me how I dare judge your lifestyle and my response to that is if you don’t want a response you may not like don’t “air your dirty laundry” on a public site.

10. Paul, I agree in part of what you say that the woman has the upper hand when it comes to having a baby, and I know there are certain women that ‘trap’ their partners by having a baby, lie about being on the pill etc, but I don’t think this makes it ok for a guy to not use contraception, if they absolutely do not want to have a baby. That said, it’s nice to see that you support your step children, as well as your own, and I genuinely hope you get to rebuild your relationship with your daughter.

    I do see this from both sides, friends of mine are being slaughtered by the CSA, yet their ex’s want more, I’ve seen the stress it puts on NRP’s as well as PWC’s, the CSA are there as a last resort as far as I’m concerned, but I do think it’s needed, IF it actually works! What you say about them is spot on, they go after the wrong people all the time, I also think the fee thing they’re talking about could be good, IF there’s the support to get maintenance sorted outwith CSA, as it can be a major issue. But again, the CSA needs to actually work before they start charging for it!

    Yes Christie, I said ‘barely’ and your obviously proud that you didn’t ask for, or need money from your ex, well done to you, yes I can work, yes, I am trying to improve my financial situation so I can say, actually, I don’t need your money, BUT, whether I can or can’t get my situation improved on my own, the fact that he HAS the money to spare, but doesn’t for his children absolutely enrages my, as I said, I wasn’t the only one to choose to bring these children into the world, so why am I the only one with the financial responsibility? Any money I’ve ever had from him has gone to a bank account, where it’s only used if the children need something, it’s not like it’s squandered on me!

    You ask how I know what he has? Because my children have contact with him, he picks them up in his car, I pick them up from his house, he doesn’t have the children on holiday with him, but I know he goes as he doesn’t have contact on those weeks and informs me he’s going on holiday, then comes back with a tan, I have to keep a diary on his contact due to past events, but really, I don’t need to keep tabs as clearly I see these things on a regular basis when he can be bothered to stick to the contact arrangements.

    When we first split up, he left me with a pile of debt, some of which he ran up on my credit card after we split, which I have paid off ON MY OWN, but didn’t badger him for money as I knew he’d have to set himself up, when he’d done that, he paid maintenance for a whole 2 weeks, then quit his job because he didn’t want to pay mainenance! He job hopped for 3 years to avoid this, then paid maintenance for about 6 months and lost his job, at this point, as he had no income, I gave him money when he had the kids to feed them as he said he couldn’t afford it, so yes, the situation has been reversed in the past and I gave him money for food when he had our kids. He went back into empoyment a few months later and has managed to dodge the CSA since. Do I think he should pay if I have a good job, money in the bank, swanky house? Yes I do, as I said, all money would go into a bank account, and if I didn’t need it, it would go to my kids when they were old enough to start them off with a car, deposit for a house, whatever it may be, I really don’t think it’s too much to ask a parent to take a share in financial support regardless of the PWC’s income, provided of course, that the NRP can afford it.

    You say that I appeared one sided and judgemental, I would say this is more so from you Christie, I can see where Paul’s coming from in his story, and he can see my points too, you on the other hand, seem to think of it as a weakness on my part that I would like my ex to contribute towards his kids upbringing, I don’t think it’s a weakness at all, I think it’s my children’s damn right to be supported by both their parents, it’s not ME I want him to support, it’s OUR children.

11. I agree if your ex can afford to contribute financially towards his children he should. What grated me in your original post is how you stated you could not feasably live without the money from you ex when I know from personal experience that it is possible to live without maintenance payments. God forbid but what would happen if something were to happen to your ex, would you’re children run round naked then eventually starve…no of course they wouldn’t.

12. In fact the only children left in poverty are the children of the NRP’s second family when the CSA take away a chunk of money intended for the welfare of one child and give it to another who has already been provided for.

    I can hand on heart say I was financially better off as a single parent with no maintenance than I am now married to an NRP, we are not on benefits, we both work for what seems to be no other reason than pride.

    You’re right though I was judgemental of your situation and I appologise for that, purely based on wht you have said I agree that your ex should provide for his children as it does sound like he is able to afford to. I don’t know the circumstances of your relationship breakdown but he is also likely to be suffering and will see you as the one who has “come out on top” as you still get to see your children everyday, put them to bed at night and wake up with them every morning.

    The whole CSA system frustrates me, I appreciate there are fathers (and at times mothers) out there who just want to shirk their responsibilities but I genuinly believe most do want to provide for their children but the underhanded manner in which the CSA deal with claims and their unreasonable demands do put other children at risk and can break up relationships between parents and children which is unforgivable.

13. Christie I absolutely agree, I have my children with me every day, and I wouldn’t change that for all the money in the world, you are right, I make sure they don’t go without, but things would definately be easier if I had some financial input from my ex. There was a time, when I was left with the mortgage, and all his debt, that we were living on 20/30 quid a week so I could keep up with the payments, then, I really did struggle to put food on the table, I always did, with a bit of help from my parents, but what bothers me is he knew this, and didn’t think to put his hand in his pocket once.

    The end of our relationship is a long and twisted story, but it was ultimately my decision, so I didn’t feel I should push for money at first, but given his situation now, it does really bother me that he doesn’t contribute, mainly on principle if I’m honest!

    Also agree with the point you made about children in 2nd families having to go without, the whole thing is completely screwed up, the CSA have left countless families at each others throats rather than coming up with a reasonable amount to support children, that works for both NRP & PWC. When I look at some people I know looking for 200 a week from their ex’s, and moaning they aren’t getting more, I think it’s quite vulgar, who needs that amount of money on top of a wage or IS? ex’s need to live to, no matter how badly the relationship broke down. I think too often, as with using kids, ex partners use money as a weapon too. Something needs to be done to make it stop.

    I have to say, from this thread, misunderstandings due to the CSA winding me personally, up so much, have made me misjudge both you and Paul, it seems we are all on the same side, yet debating due to the CSA’s unbelievably faulted systems!

14. Hi Gambit, I think we both misread you too, emotions do run high so I will say sorry for any offensive comments I made, Christie feels the same, she is my wife, I’m a NRP and she is a PWC, I guess thats proof enough that PWC’s and NRP’s can get along… We think we have a genuine solution for sorting out all this mess and we have started a brand new group which is taking proactive and positive action (legally) to help the CSA, thats right we are not attacking them having a go at them we actually want to join them to help sort this mess out, we are backed up by a CSA solicitor and have a small group of aroung 24 people who have friends in the media tv radio etc to help launch this group, the coalition of groups is called the UCMS “United Child Maintenance Solutions” and its aim is to work with NRP’s and PWC’s to help the CSA achieve whats best for everyone unltimately but the end result should be less NRP’s hiding, less PWC’s withholding access without good reason and more importantly we will stop the suffering and poverty of all children on both sides of the fence… We are getting deep into government and have an amazing team working on this, several leagal adviors, Managers and the media so we all have brought usable skills to the group… Follow this link if you would like to join us as we have discussed your position and feel you have alot to give… (copy and paste into your browser if the link doesnt work) http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/group.php?gid=49672239851

15. Thanks Paul, I understand now knowing your story, why you said what you did, appologies to you both also. Have sent a request to join the group, seems like a good idea to me! Time for someone to do something, hopefully we can make a difference…

16. I am shocked that many of you think that women raising children on their own is financially rewarding. I am a mum of two, and was left for someone else. The reality for me is having no support off my ex partner being bullied out of my home when I couldn’t afford to buy him out. I have made a new start in rented accomodation and I work part time as my youngest is only 2. Most days I am exhausted and feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, I never asked for this life. When i had my kids I thought I was in it forever and I am still emotionally fragile and don’t really believe i will ever recover. I had an agreement with my ex partner with child support, he stopped giving me anything and was going on weekends away generally having a good time. The CSA are there for absent parents who think that they can just erase their kids and also as a deterrant to stop people just going round having kids and not taking responsibility for them. The CSA take into account other children that come along and a payment to the first kids goes down. I think if you have kids regardless of gender you should support them and unfortunately some people are so selfish that without the CSA there they wouldn’t pay anything at all. Children need love and attention they also need food, shelter and clothes why should this all fall on the shoulders of one parent when 2 made them.

17. ps, to the person saying it’s possible to live without financial support from an absent parent. Crazy, if you make kids then you should support them, end of. What if we all walked out on our kids and didn’t care. When you have kids and it doesn’t work out then have a new relationship and have kids there YOU STILL HAVE TO SUPPORT YOUR FIRST KIDS. You can’t just wipe the slate clean and start again, you have an emotional and financial obligation. Before you have kids with a new partner, you know you’ve already got kids that you need to support and if you can’t afford to support ALL YOUR KIDS THEN DON’T HAVE ANY MORE. SIMPLE

18. Lucy, I am sorry for your situation and agree that it is wrong for a father to walk out and want no more to do with their children however I believe that most absent parents get tarred with the same brush as the genuine “deadbeat dads”, I know a lot of dads who have been kicked out by their partners and then had access to their children withheld so the mum can move on, they didn’t choose that life either and as for them moving on and starting a new family, is that not allowed, do they then have to live the rest of their lives in the knowledge that they will never be allowed to have an active role in their own childs life?

    I don’t know about you but when my 2nd child was born I didn’t spend quite as much on my 1st child is that not fair either?

    I understand you being bitter about your situation as it sounds like you and your children have been treated very badly by your ex but please don’t think that all absent fathers are the same as some have been treated very badly by their ex’s too, just be happy that you still have your children to cuddle every night, I know it’s really hard at times but I promise you will get over this and you will be able to be proud of all you have done for them, concentrate on doing the best you can by them and don’t get too hung up on how badly your ex has treated you all otherwise in the long run he is still winning,the best revenge you can have is to show him you are better off without him (by that I mean you, not your children)

    p.s. I think it was me that said it’s possible to live without the financial help off your ex, that is because it is, it may not be the right thing for them to be doing but getting hung up on the fact you’re not getting any money won’t do you any good and it made me proud and much more confident to know I could do it alone.

19. Hi Everyone

    The CSA was set up for a justifiable reason but has caused more harm than good to thousands and thousands of people….. especially children!!

    Because the criteria to claim child maintenance is so unrealistic, thousands and thousands of people have been left emotionally heartbroken and financially destitute!!

    When I met my partner he was about to go bankrupt because the CSA were asking for more money than he could afford. He litteraly lived on £20 per month and was £1000’s of pounds in debt trying to pay for his kids. His partner lied to the kids and the CSA to get more money, stopped the children from ‘staying over’ but he could have them 7 days a week if he wanted them.. to feed them, entertain them but she wanted the most money she could get!! She admitted this in an e-mail to my partner but there was nothing the CSA could do….

    Child Maintenance… what does it mean? Maintaining a childs growth? Mantaining a child happiness? Maintaining a childs wellbeing?? to a parent is ‘should’ mean all of the above but unfortunately, due to the criteria outlined by the CSA, mothers (and some fathers) have abused the system in an attempt to hurt each other by using money as the tool to do so…… the children are caught in the middle…. where is the ‘child maintenance’ in that?

    Quality time is NOT overnight stays…. Quality time is ANYTIME a parent spends time in their childs company, enjoying time with them…. plenty of children spend more quality time with their NRP than they do with their resident parent (out with their friends, staying over with their friends, spending time in their room)….

    Financial contribution…. what does that mean? contributing money to the welfare of your child…. this should be based on what a parent can AFFORD… based on their disposable income NOT their net income….. Fathers (and some mothers) all over the country are living in bedsits because of the CSA has failed them…. and the children…..