28 days for something a computer can do in seconds?

24 thoughts on “28 days for something a computer can do in seconds?”

1. Deadbeat Father? is there such a thing? or should it be deadbeat Mother for not keeping her legs shut?

2. RT @CSAHell: 28 days for something a computer can do in seconds?: CSA adding insult to injury: After years failing my… http://t.co/tj9ktM…

3. Sounds like deadbeat step dad also, obviously never been a victim of the csa.

4. Peter Brown. Are you trying to insult my wife ? Someone you don’t know from Eve? Or are you asking a rhetorical question? Or are you just a hater of woman in general? If the latter, no wonder you are in the situation you seem to be in which is just a bitter guy slinging insults at people you don’t know.

   Please don’t tar everyone with the same brush Woody. It’s not just dads the CSA is failing. They fail everyone! How can you come to the conclusion someone is a ‘deadbeat’ step dad on the little information you have just read? Is it wrong to pursue outstanding arrears, or should deadbeat fathers be rewarded for all there efforts evading their responsibilities while demanding ( and in our case getting) full access to their offspring?

5. Marcus,
   How much do you want your step kids dad to pay?
   A fare and affordable amount?
   Or to screw to nrp until he has no life?
   Do you have a figure in mind that is fare?
   What if the csa decide that they can get alot more money from the nrp?
   Would you say no thats far too much? How would he be able to live and keep a roof over his head?
   I don’t think so, you would take as much as you can get without a thought for the nrp and their new families.
   You want to hope you never fall under the mercy of the csa, i think you might change your views.
   I agree that all nrps should contribute towards their children, but it should be a fare amount.

6. Woody, I don’t care how much. He agreed to pay whatever the CSA assessed him to pay for his two kids. A rough calculation tells me over the 15 odd years since he left his wife for another woman he had to pay less then most smokers spend on fags. About 25 pound a week. He still managed to build up these arrears. He made his bed, now he can lie in it. Now he sends me soppy eMails how he wants to build up a new life and how this deduction of earnings order stops him from moving forward. Tough luck!

   Sorry, but he should have paid when he had the money and not spent it on expensive holidays to the USA and Australia for him and his girlfriend. I have sympathy for dads who are denied access, but I would even drive these kids up to his house or meet him half way on a motorway service station to ensure they had contact. He has no complaints in that department. We have had plenty. Like promised holidays with his kids that never materialised. Too busy pampering himself this NRP!

7. marcus,
   He must be in minority, most if not all nrps are screwed bigtime.
   £25 per week is low to support one child, to me a farer figure would be £50 per week.
   Unfortunately alot of us nrps pay £100 or more per week for one child, and have no contact (not through choice).
   We are treated like criminals, worse than murderers or rapists.
   There are many victims of the csa abuse and theft, for every one nrp who is trying to play the csa system, there are thousands more having their lives and families lives totally destroyed.

8. It’s an interesting question Woody. Who are wronged more by the CSA: NRPs or parents with care? I know who shouts louder for sure!

   If you are passionate about it, you maybe you could do some sort of Freedom of Information request to the CSA. You could for example ask who complain more. What percentage of complaints come from NRPs or PWCs?

   My sympathy is instinctively with the parents who take up the responsibility of caring for the children, as they in turn will instinctively try to make up for the financial and emotional holes left by the parent who ups and leaves and withholds contributions for whatever sad reason they use to justify themselves.

   My guess is that some of the trolls, like Peter Brown earlier in the discussion, and some of the others that can only f*&+ and blind and hurl abuse at women in general have a lot of soul churching to do, why their partners can’t stand the sight of them so much that they would rather shield their children from his/her abuse rather than let them have normal contact.

   NRP’s should keep the moral high ground at all times and be a rock for their children. Not an embarrassment with shouting matches in front of kids. Then when the children turn into adults, they will again find the path to their door that was previously blocked by a vengeful partner or other reasons. All this angry shouting abuse will only make them sad and lonely old people in their old age…..

   At least we can all agree that the CSA is useless, fails in its mission and makes things worse rather than better for split up families. They are inefficient and lack any common sense. They are failing in their duties to children. At best the CSA is a government work creation project for Belfast and other places where they pretend to work for us while wasting tax revenue.

9. @ Marcus… or should that be Marcia or Mary?? I have to say, your response made me laugh… genuinely made me laugh…

   You sound so much like Alice and Chall (two individuals who hid their true identity to provide PWCs with assistance and provide NRP’s with incorrect advice re CSA)…

   Don’t judge someone until you have walked in their shoes… moral high ground? MORAL high ground…. what is more immoral than USING your own children as pawns in the game of life, to get more money – that is what some PWC’s do…… NRP’s rant on this site because they are at the end of their emotional tether… NOT because they are bad fathers!!!

   I am a female and have been absolutely appalled and ashamed at the behaviour of some ‘mothers’ on this site… money comes long before the relationship the child has with its father and NOT because the father is a bad person but because the mother was selfish, greedy and angry!!

   CSA neglect the DECENT parents (both PWC and NRP) and support the scum of the earth… i.e. mothers who use their children to get more money, who reduce overnight stays on the advice of the CSA (to increase their child maintenance payments), claim child benefit fraudulently and lie to the CSA and their own kids to influence the child against the father and this is for what? more money!!!! The CSA also supports the fathers who have NEVER paid and will NEVER pay because they are too selfish to care that they brought children into the world…. you should maybe read some more stories (from both sides) and then make comment!!!

10. Marcus,
    Again you seem to only look at one side of the situation and i truely hope you continue in life never being abused by the csa as a nrp.
    You think that nrps who have no contact is because maybe they are abusive or unfit to see their children?
    Get real man!
    Most nrps are denied access to their children because the pwc doesn’t want them to have access, and the courts allow this to happen.
    Children are being brought up never knowing their father,even though in the vast majority of cases the father is paying a heavy financial price.
    I can understand your views being married to a pwc, but come on mate look at what is really going on, look at all the suicides, because of the csa?
    Nrps are being persecuted throughout this country.
    If i were you i would start to open my eyes, it could easily be you one day as an nrp and being persecuted, and discouraged from seeing your own children.
    The problem is the csa, all they need to do is be fare with both pwc and nrp, set fare amounts that everyone can afford and afford to live.
    Unfortunately they are given targets, and to meet these targets they obtain more and more money from the nrps who are complient without are care or conscience of how the nrp will survive.
    Good luck marcus, and i really hope you never find yourself in my situation.

11. Sally why the suspicious mind? Just Google my name is you think in the weekend I am called Marcia. Mary happens to be my second middle name, but that’s neither here or there if you come from a Catholic background.

    Are you saying NRPS are sometimes justified f-ing and blinding in front of their children? Lowering themselves to the same low levels of whoever they are dealing with? I am just suggesting the really awful trolls on this site were probably already nasty pieces of work long before they ended up in this position.
    Not people like Woody who can make amends and call me mate even if we disagree on some things.

    Well I don’t think it will do the trolls much good other than letting off a head of short term steam.

    As for Woody mate, I am now drawing a pension and raising four children has been plenty and rewarding enough for me. When my wife and I split up we decided to make our own arrangements and leave the CSA well out of it. I set up a standing order and increased the amount as I was promoted up de corporate ladder. Never had a complaint from my ex. Only clever requests to buy kids new winter coats etc. when they stayed with me, which was pretty much every weekend. I feel sorry for all those who cannot make such adult arrangements and use kids as pawn in silly games.

    The NRP with arrears that I was dealing with can ponder about that when it is not him walking his daughter up the isle when she gets married soon.

12. Marcus,
    One last point that i hope may open your eyes to what is really going on with the csa.
    I am a registered nurse, i work on a very high dependancy unit looking after very sick people.
    The csa have rang me at work on the unit on many many occasions, demanding various bits of information, trying to get me into non compliance or arrears.
    This is while i’m at work on the unit phone, and while nursing very sick people.
    So, how would you feel being looked after by a nurse stressed out to the max by this persecution?
    How would you feel if this nurse was responsible for the care of your wife?
    Your children?
    Do you think this is safe and appropriate?
    The best of it is it was me who originally instigated the csa in the first place, because i wanted to do the right thing by my child and i new that i would be denied access.
    WHAT A FOOLISH THING TO DO!!!
    I have never missed a payment, always had to pay 30% of my wages for one child, apart from times that the csa have made up £600+ arrears on three occasions over the past 14 years, and then paid 40% of my wages.
    So please marcus look what the average nrp has to put up with!
    I know i am an easy target for the csa, because i’m complient, i’ve got an easily checkable job and they can put a deo on me in no time if i don’t agree with their demands.

13. Woody, did in any of my postings you hear me say anything positive about the CSA?

    We have to be careful not to seem to be in disagreement about this failing organisation. We agree!!! I was hoping to get some feedback from people who, like my wife, were finally getting the money they were owed, only to see it disappear in some government black hole and not come out.

    Someone else on this forum mentioned that the CSA was sitting on billions of money, collected from NRPs, owed to parents, but not paid out. Now that would be a scandal! Who knows more about this?

    This site should be about pressuring the CSA into reforms or get it abolished.

    Instead it’s taken over by trolls who want to get back at their exes. That to me seems a waste of energy. That’s why I am going up in the loft to put up insulation and won’t reply again, unless someone can make a comment about the best way of releasing this money from this ‘black hole’ CSA account.

14. This site does seem to be getting a reputation for be overrun with what some call trolls. I myself have been called a troll by the famous Karen Bedford amongst other names and insults ,like lowlife scum which I bitterly recent, and all because I had my own opinion on postings on this site.
    Some postings make your blood boil and clearly are open to abuse because they scream ” money grabbing pwc” by the nature of the content and how it’s put across.these people come back in defence with a whole new story and added content to the original post to back up their original posting. Always coming out with the same old bollocks ” you don’t know me or my circumstances and besides..it’s none of your business” but then go onto tell all their business and the fuller picture anyway, to which my answer would always be ” well if it’s noones business then why post on a public forum in the first place? Secondly if you want people to fully understand and leave nothing open to interpretation ? Then you should tell the full story. Maybe some of the trolls as Karen Bedford calls us would be a little more understanding. That said, most of us on here who have axes to grind, only do so because of the way the ex’s abuse the system and use the kids purely for their own financial gain,the freeloaders and scroungers on benefits that see dropping as many kids as possible as meal tickets,cash cows and the fathers as ATM machines.
    Then there’s the disgusting unfair way the Nrp is assessed. NO essential living cost ,bills, mortgage, travel cost to work, NONE of this is considered when a Nrp is assessed. How is that fair? I was actually told by the famous Alice on here that if a Nrp has to travel x amount of miles to get to work ? That’s his problem,he should have found a job closer to home. Can you believe that shit came out of her mouth,how fucking ignorant is that. I was also told that the debt I had amassed was my problem as well despite it coming about as a direct result of the well being and benefit to my family. Alice actually told me its was my choice to marry,have a honeymoon,make home improvements etc etc…MY CHOICE nothing to do with my ex. She had no say in it. She made it sound as if it was all that I wanted.
    I fully understand why some on here feel angry and bitter because of the way some mothers use the ex purely as a cash source and nothing else, they keep the kids well away to ensure max CSA payments, the CSA system is totally unfair and one sided biased towards the pwc. This is not rocket science…think about it…the pwc is the customer. IT starts the ball rolling and poems the door for the CSA to start bleeding honest hard working fathers of cash. Why would the CSA bite the hand that feeds it? Why would the CSA investigate fraud committed by a pwc? Why would it encourage pwc to give more visits to a Nrp if it means less money to the pwc. Why is a Nrp not entitled to know how or even if his money is actually spent on his kids. This is one reason Marcus I despise the CSA and resent paying CSA. My ex has a full time working partner living with her and I am forced to hand over £300 a month for 1 child that she took away from me after she walked out because she decided to open her legs to some other bloke and wanted nothing to do with me anymore….oh yes nothing exept my money…lol…back to the point…do you Marcus or anyone else think for one min that the entire £300 I’m forced to pay her is actually spent on my daughter? Never in a million yrs. I know she probably sees only a small percent of that money, the rest subsidies hers and her partners income and nights out and fags and her other daughters upbringing whos father I might add pays fuck all towards his daughter,that’s correct, he pays nothing,my ex NEVER opened a claim with the CSA to bleed him. I know this guy,I let him in my house many times,I opened my arms at Xmas time to him to come and stay at my house so he could spend time with his daughter,I did this because of his daughter. He NEVER once gave me and my ex a penny towards his daughters upkeep,he never once brought a can of beer with him when he came to my house,but happily drank mine.I brought his daughter up from when she 18 months old. This is how I was treated by my ex after she got bored and moved onto her next conquest. I feel she ha a vendetta against me? How or what else would you call it?
    The CSA is scum and a lot of mothers exploit it for their own financial gain.This is why the likes of Peter brown and myself are so bitter and angry.
    I myself try not to judge individuals on here who post anymore before reading their story very carefully, as I am aware of being branded a troll and that I am not.
    I will where it’s blatently obvious that some one is abusing the system and quite clearly indicates or appears to indicate they are just taking the piss? ..get my full attention and opinion on what I think of them…I don’t give a flying fuck what they say in response, all I will say is tell your full story and leave nothing out so that people see both sides and not just theirs in order to win brownie points and get people on their sides.
    Gonk

15. Gonk, as I said to Woody before I am no advocate of the CSA. Having said that it would seem to me that for every wronged NRP with an awful bitch as an ex there is also one genuine parent with care ( let’s face it often a woman) who’s ex is a selfish prick.

    I suggest that the trolls starts their own forum discussion with a header like ‘my bitch is worse than yours’, and not spout their bile on CSA hell posts that have nothing to do with them and to which the have no meaningful contribution.

    After suggesting to Woody that he do a FOI request on the subject I found some relevant research data confirming what I suggest is true. PWCs and NRPs are equally badly treated by the CSA Recent CMEC statistics show that 48% of complaints were from non-resident parents, and 50% were from parents with care, so it is clear that no one is happy with the current system.

    You can read this for yourself following the link below along with other shocking tales of CSA maladministration.

    http://www.theyworkforyou.com/whall/?id=2012-07-11a.107.1

    Don’t you love Google search?

16. This is a ‘deadbeat dad’ who has paid out £100,000 in divorce and maintenance.

    I have been a pwc and an nrp for split children. Not only is the domestic situation a complete mess, because of a ‘control freak’ mother, I have also had to endure the total and complete dysfunctional CSA, who have botched both cases up many times, causing me a lot of stress.

    I too was being harassed at work and at home. Soon put a stop to that by complaining to the executive!

    The CSA is a disgraceful shambles.

    Important matters involving children belong in the courts with professional accredited lawyers and not grade one office staff!

17. John, thanks for illustrating my point of people being ‘off topic’ on this forum. It’s sad and I could trump you if I wanted but it’s not helping me release my wife’s arrears.

18. Marcus. I would say that I am ‘bang on’ topic on this forum CSA complaints heading and the ‘headliner’ mentions ‘deadbeat dads’. Which I object to, because I am anything but a ‘deadbeat dad’, as proven by my financial input into my children!

19. John, start your own topic. Don’t hijack mine with irrelevant information. I don’t want to be nasty. go to the home page of this site. Share your story there. Choose an appropriate header like ‘poor me’and then you will no longer be off topic. I might even share my story with you.

20. @ Marcus – “why the suspicious mind”… i’ll tell you why… the CSA and lying mothers….

    Before I met my partner (who is a brilliant father) I was completely oblivious to the CSA and assumed all mothers were like my own, decent human beings who put their children first.

    My partner always paid more for his children than the CSA dictated via private agreement, had a great relationship with his children and seen them on a regular basis. He left himself without to give to the kids to the point where he almost lost his house (he let his ex keep the house they shared) due to the amount he was giving his ex…but being a DECENT father wanted to make up for leaving their mother (who is a psychopath).

    The mother expected me to pay child maintenance for her children!?!?! and threatened my partner with the CSA to get more money!!! She found out I was comfortable and had my own home and demanded he give her more money as soon as we moved in together…. I was absolutely gobsmacked!!! She lied to the CSA, her own children and accused my partner of all sorts (complete lies) all because she didn’t get the money she demanded…. 3 years of her and CSA hell and we were at breaking point (as were her children)… it all backfired on her though as she now gets £5 per week, my partner is a student and all assets are in my name….

    She gets less but the kids get more… from us and they are much happier children than they were when their mother was stirring up trouble… all for the sake of money…

    As I said earlier, there are people who come on her pretending to try to help NRP’s but it has transpired that they were not giving the correct information (intentionally), there have been CSA staff who have come on here goading NRPs… is it any wonder people get frustrated!!!

21. p.s. and to support Johns comments… the CSA is a complete shambles and the fact that staff have been sent to jail for theft (stealing from PWC and NRP) and been caught out lying speaks volumes about the type of people the CSA employ… the ‘unemployable’ that no one else would hire!!

22. I know you are responding to a question I put to you Sally, but being relatively new to this forum I notice participants lack a certain discipline. They are all over the place with their arguments, which often have nothing to do with the topic being discussed.

    I.E. This topic is about money paid in by the NRP, but still it doesn’t reach his/her children, because the CSA looses it in a black hole and staff can see it sitting there, but say its takes 28 days to get out.

    So I am curious to other peoples experience with the same thing and how they solved it.

    Some genuine frustrated people just want to share their experiences, but don’t realise they can start their own topic under a heading more to the point of their concern. This could be a topic of ‘money grabbing exes’ or ‘Dead beat fathers hiding their earnings or assets. They could ask how other people have coped for support.

    Then there are the male trolls, who just shout abuse and foul language at every woman just because they are female and female trolls who would like you to believe there are no genuine caring dads. Those people should be given short shrift and asked to move on.

    The focus of this site is dealing with a failing CSA., not offending other human beings. Hope this doesn’t make you laugh again, because I am serious! 😉

23. @ Marcus… You are correct, the focus of this site is to deal with a failing CSA but we, as human beings have feelings, emotions and depending on our experiences, those emotions are difficult to hold back….

    I am not a violent person and have never lifted my hand to an adult or a child but at my most frustrated point with the CSA idiots and the lying ex, I would happily have punched both in the face and not have regretted it… I find that the CSA brings out the worst in people and if an NRP or PWC feels that swearing like a trooper on this website helps them then I’d say “go for it”…. No one ever said the swore in front of the kids…

    To me this website is about sharing our experiences and that doesn’t always result in structured, pre-determined polite answers… It’s quite often a rant to a post….

    The CSA should be abolished an the staff who are found to be lying and fabricating information should be fined and given a police record… My rant 🙂

24. Oh! This coming from Marcus who has hijacked the whole topic, with his ‘know all’ attitude.

    …..and for your information, I have posted ‘headlines’ on here, supported and discussed by CSA victims. so get your facts straight before you start attempting to troll or bully people on here.

    ~ Sally. Thanks for your support.