14 years on I’m still being punished for her unfaithfulness

February 18, 2014

I split with my ex in 2000 and ever since have been paying monthly in a private agreement, I fell ill at the beginning of the year and was on sick pay only, my ex took me to the CSA, this has all been sorted and I’m up to date, well I was until I received a bill asking for £3000 in unpaid maintenance from 2004 – 2005, at the time my ex was on benefits, and we wrote and told the csa that we had an ongoing private agreement. I now find out today that If a single parent was on benefits in 2004 that they were not allowed a private agreement and had to go through the CSA, I was never told this at the time and continued to pay for my daughter. Aparently at the time claiming benefits the parent was made to fill out a CSA form and tick that they either were or were not receiving money direct. I was told that my ex would of ticked that she wasn’t receiving, so in her benefits she was paid xx amount for child maintenece that I am now being chased for, even though I have already paid for my child.

If I show the proof that I have paid to a judge I will still be made to pay the £3000 as I have left myslf open to pay her when I should of been paying the CSA.

I asked if I should get my ex to call and was told that she will say she hasn’t been paid as if she says she was, she will be done for fraud and will face prosecution. so even with proof, it’s still my word against her’s, this is unfair, I have already paid. why is the law always on the mothers side? I paid for my daughter, Always have, I have clothed her, fed her, and taken her on Holiday’s. It wasn’t my fault that I left the home in the first place, It was her that was playing away with another man, 14 years later I’m still being punished for her not being faithful. I love my daughter to bits and will do anything for her, do I have to just stump up and pay what I have already paid ?? please advise


  • Steve says:

    Same happened to me but far less money, I was always told as long as you have proof that it was paid into your Ex bank Via bank transfers your OK but never pay by cash. My ex stated that the money I paid into her bank for 2 months rather than the CSA was a gift and they believed her but being self employed I told the CSA to go and take a running jump as they cannot get hold of your money so easy. Hope they do not slap a DOE on you and then take money + arrears can work out to 40% contact your MP also look on the other complaints there is an address for a company you can contact which monitors CSA fair practice it was posted about the end of Jan.

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