Plucking sums out of thin air and having no money to provide for my own family

My husband of 12 years has two children aged 19 and 15. There are two Mum’s. This makes him sound awful but the fact of the matter is that he didn’t know he had a daughter till he got a letter from the CSA’ he made contact through a friend with her mother as soon as this was implied. The mother at the time told my husband that the child wasn’t his and as she has been seen kissing another man he assumed naively albeit to be true. He was married to his Son’s Mum and she physically and mentally abused him, making attempts to stab him, hitting him (this is daily), biting him etc. Thus he has been unfortunate. The first time he should have been more careful, the second time equipment failed.

Two months before our Son was born we got a letter from her solicitor saying that we had been say8ing things about her and her family and contact was stopped. My husband fought and paid £3,500 to get access back. To no avail. She produced a letter from her GP saying that ‘due to the problems surrounding the natural father the child could not sleep’ and prescribed him sleeping tablets. The judge denied access reinstated based on this and denied us access to his medical records. She then had four months to prime him and he said he did not want to see his Dad anymore – he actually calls him by his first name as he has been encouraged to all his life. We have since got those medical records and she has said ‘natural father is back on scene’ like he had only just turned up when he has been seeing him every week that she had allowed it. It is actually more complicated than I am able to explain on here without going into detail.

However, aside from all that he has paid everything the CSA have asked him to – to date. Three weeks ago we got a letter from them saying that he owe’s them £6,500 from 2008 – 2009, a period of time in which we paid everything they asked of us. We have sent them a letter saying that we can’t pay £533 out of my husband’s £1200 a month wages but they are saying that if they don’t get it by the end of the week they are deducting it directly from his wages. We will without any doubt be destitute.

Wost thing is that we have a 6 year old together and one on the way and I am stressed to the hilt about it all. I have sat and cried for two days. I am off work this week but am back next and I am simply not coping with the idea that I can’t provide for my family. I am going to have to ask my parents for food. My mother is retired and my Dad is retiring in December, he is on minimum wage at that.

Apparently it is our choice to pay our mortgage and the level of money they are taking from us means that we will be OK because we can live in our overdraft! I have never been a penny overdrawn, I am not in any debt and never have been. I work as well, in actual fact I have degenerative disc disease with left sided paraesthesia down part of my left leg with foot involvement due to permanent nerve damage. I am not 30 yet. I won’t claim for it, I don’t want to place more barriers than I have already got on my future and yet I will be working for nothing.

I am thoroughly depressed about it. I have just sat and cried for two days. I don’t ask for much and neither of us object to paying, we never have, but we can’t meet their demands and I don’t know what else I can do. We only got the letter on the 11th July and they are saying that if we don’t pay by the end of the week they are deducting it straight from his earnings.

We have written to them twice, husband has spoken to them twice, I have e-mailed the local MP, I have e-mail the law centre in our town. As we only got the news about them deducting the earnings yesterday I am yet to receive a response.

So fed up of it all – it’s not the first time they have made unreasonable demands. I can understand why people are sick of them. They don’t listen……