Incompetent CSA can’t keep their admin in check and make us pay for it!

My husband has 15 year old son to his ex. For the first 5-6 years of his life, there was a mutual agreement over who pays what. His ex, thinking she may get more money, got the CSA involved. When calculated, my husband actually paid less per month. This continued until the age of 11 until we had a letter from CSA demanding nearly £6000 in arrears.

When we questioned it, we were told that it was due to no payments before CSA were ever involved. If we disputed it, we would need 5 years of proof of what my husband paid for. As you can imagine, receipts of clothes etc have not been kept and most of the payments were done it in cash (as requested by the ex).

I think this system is evil, as my husbands ex only done this out of spite as she heard we were getting married. CSA believe her over us. I may add that she has full custody and does not allow my husband contact, so not only are we hurt in an financial way, but in an emotional way too.

My husband gets very stressed and depressed about the situation, he finds it’s difficult to contact the CSA as it’s a constant reminder of the son he doesn’t have in his life. So he made the decision to not push forward with a complaint and appeal, and pay 40% of wage to pay it back.

6 months ago, we had to contact CSA for a change of information. A conversation about arrears was brought up. We were then advised that the arrears were not from the time we thought, it was from somewhere else? We asked were from but they couldn’t answer our question, they just said lack of payments over the years. I demanded a break down, which we never recieved. We did however recieve a letter asking my husband to pay for ANOTHER child. When we questioned this they apologised and had sent it error. This does not fill us with confidence. But still, we call to get answers regarding the arrears and we get promised contact back and never recieve it.

Today we received a letter asking my husband to prove with his wage slips that he had been paying maintenance as their records indicate he hasn’t for the last year! How do they jot keep a record of this? Is this why we have these ‘arrears’?

How incompetent, I dispute these arrears, but I cannot prove anything as I have no idea when they are supposedly from. If they cannot keep their own admin in check then how can they be trusted? It’s not even like we can refuse to pay until it’s sorted, as they go straight for his wages.

We live poor due to this, whilst his ex goes on lovely holidays and doesn’t work, whilst driving farther and son apart.

CSA are so biased towards fathers, and completely incompetent!!