How can they still demand money?

August 13, 2011

The last contact i had with my ex was just over 7 years ago, she moved back to scotland. |In May 2010 i get a message out of the blue from my sister in law stating ‘my ex had found her on facebook and informed her i had a baby with her, aparantly she didnt tell me because she heard i died in Afghanistan. Total bollox, anyway, she could have informed my family as she knew who they were and where they lived.

She claims she tried to get the CSA to find me many years ago but they had no reccord of me anywhere (another lie)

I rightly asked for proof the child was mine, as leaving it 6.5 years before telling me and the lies she already said filled me with doubt, we went halfs on a DNA test (sourced online and not a legally binding test) and it came back that i was the father, so i done the right thing and contributed financially and got to know her, i travelled from essex to scotland as often as i could and occasionally we met half way in the midlands to enable my family to see her too.

Things went reasonably well, christmas came and i spoilt her rotten, her 7th birthday came and again i spolet her rotten, we got really close and she asked if she could stay with me, well that was the end of it. The mother stopped all contact after that and involved the CSA, i agreed to make the payments they requested and after a few months the mother wanted to start being more amicable and stopped the CSA, she asked me to buy clothing, toys, books etc so i did, again things were fine for a while.

Then she told me the website we did the DNA test through was bought into question and false positives were given to quite a few clients (i cant remember the name of he site, cant even find the paperwork), she then went on to tell me she doesnt think im actually the father and said she was sleping around in the short time i knew her. Also her new fella (known 5 mins and now living with her) is going to adopt her. She has moved address again and changed her number so i have no way of getting in touch.

I informed the CSA of all this ‘change of circumstances etc’ but they didnt seem interested, they said i should contact her and request another DNA test but a legally binding one, how can i do this when we live at different ends of the country and i have no contact information for her, i also said that they should provide the test as they are demanding payment but now need to prove i am the father. They said that as i previously agreed to pay (before paternaty was bought into question) that i accept the child is mine and im required to pay until i can prove otherwise.

Surely this cannot be true, how can i prove i am or not if i cannot find the mother. They know where she is but not willing to contact her about this. I have told them im un-willing to make any payments until they resolve this, they said they will just arrest my wages. The woman i spoke too was rude and couldnt give a toss.

What can i do? Surely they cant take any money from me until paternity is now proven?