Ex’s new husband put his name on my daughter’s birth cirtificate

May 29, 2012

My daughter was born in 1997, by this point i had already been cut out of hers and her mothers lives by an over-controlling family. Yes i made some mistakes too, i was young and stupid! I was never allowed on the birth certificate, the ‘fathers name’ was left blank and despite pleading with my daughters mother i was never allowed to see her.

Four years later my ex married and along with her new husband they lied on the official forms and had his name put on my daughters birth certificate (a move that can now never be undone) and by doing so changed her surname to his.

They subsequently divorced and shortly after i received a letter from the CSA telling me i had to pay maintenance. Now, i wouldn’t deny my child anything but this incensed me. The CSA didn’t know me from Joe Bloggs yet they came straight to me on the say-so of the mother. If i wanted to, I had to prove i wasn’t the father, they were not willing to provide any proof that i was and were certainly not interested in what was on the birth certificate, they just took the mothers word for it.

This is a very disturbing proposition: Any woman can accuse any man on the street without ANY evidence and the onus would be on him to prove otherwise!

Anyway, i didn’t deny it and started paying up. After a couple of years i lost my job and the money dried up, it was then i started getting messages from the mother. This has continued now for several years, whenever the money dries up she waves the carrot in my face in order to get money i don’t have. On a number of occasions i have driven the 700mile round trip for a “pre-arranged” meeting with my daughter and have received excuses only after i’ve gotten all the way there.

Back to more of the point… After having lost this job I told the CSA that i was now on JSA and i should have been due them only £5 per week and as my account with them was in credit i was not surprised to not hear from them for a while. I sent them recorded letters keeping them updated on changes of address (and my name on one occasion) until 10 months later they called me to tell me i was £1200 in arrears! They hadn’t processed my unemployment details and had continued charging me the full rate througout, this was 2009.

I have had a 3 year-long battle to try and get them to sort out their mess but there’s no-one to make them sort themselves out and THEY genuinely don’t care!

When i started my next job (which was part-time) they continued the £5 rate but took a further £15pw arrears, arrears which i didn’t even owe. It sickens me that when the law states that you can only afford the minimum payment they are ALLOWED to take 40% of your earnings for arrears. FORTY PERCENT! And they’re allowed to do this!

I’ve just got myself back on my feet, i’d been severely depressed, homeless and unemployed for over a year and just landed myself a job and no sooner have i got my first pay-packet i get a letter from BT58.

Already they want my money, still haven’t sorted the arrears properly and are just vile people to talk to on the phone. It also seems that one of my other bug-bears with them is still going on: They still send 2nd class letters with a “reply-by” date of just 1 or 2 days. This is deliberate so they can exercise they’re will as soon as they like because you “haven’t replied”.

This is all so wrong, i’m starting to get depressed again. I don’t have a problem paying the money, it’s just the staff and the system are so inept. There is just nowhere to turn to for people like me. Not all absent parents are scumbags, i’ve NEVER seen my daughter but i still pay and it goes straight into the govt purse.

This is a very condensed version of just a couple on my list of CSA issues, i could be here all day.