Ex-wife reported me to the CSA
I wish to be treated more that just a man who unfortunately due to un-seen circumstance suffered a breakdown to my first marriage. I have never been or ever will be a distant parent and have always proved that to be the case, yet due to Government legislation I am seen as a criminal, an irate voice on the other end of a phone conversation, or just a signature on a form which doesn’t represent the ill justice to Fathers who stand by their kids.
Back in 2004 my ex-wife reported me to the CSA despite the fact that financially I had always embraced my family commitments towards her and my daughter. Nevertheless even with proven statements to back my case that my presence as a father was never absent, quite the opposite in all areas including spiritually, mentally and also financially, I was still forced to pay my ex-wife 90.00 per week.
The following year became extremely demanding, as not only was I trying to start a new life for myself but also defending my honour in divorce hearings, in addition applying for full custody for my daughter as my ex-wife had entered a new relationship which became extremely volatile, subjecting my daughter to witness both physical and mental abuse. I must also stress that this was not just my wish but also my daughters.
After months of going to court and visits from an appointed CAFCASS officer, our wish was granted and rewarded with full custody of my daughter, which I reported to the CSA, who intern ceased all payments. At the time I was asked if I wanted to claim Child maintenance from my ex-wife as i was entitled to do so, which I rejected, as I fought that as a mother she would automatically oblige.
How wrong I was, my daughter was 11yrs old then, she I know coming up to her 18th birthday and not a penny has been contributed by my ex-wife. More importantly during those important years there has been little to no contact between them. At first I would encourage my daughter each weekend to spend time with her mum, but there were issues with her mum’s new husband. So the fact of the matter is that I raised my daughter single handed.
28th April 2012, Six years after being rewarded full custody of my daughter I receive a disturbing letter from the CSA (Ref 328819208180), notifying my that my account was still open and currently in arrears. Turns out that they also notified my ex-wife of this, in which she as instructed them to pursue for the outstanding amount.
I will not assume that you know how I felt at that time, but lets just say bloody disgusted would be an understatement. I totally understand that due to legislation the CSA have a difficult job to do, and as a devoted father the have my full support, raising a child by yourself, despite it being the best job in the world, it isn’t easy, and absent fathers should support the nurturing and upbringing of their children. Yet this isn’t flawless and wide opened for manipulation needs to be addressed.
This is one example that I have presented to you, and I’ll be dammed if I just sit back and allow someone to take advantage of the law and also my good nature. My campaigned is not just for myself but also for others out there that my be experiencing something similar,. Due to the disgust that I feel deep within, I expressed this matter to my daughter, as we are very close, I must say that she herself felt extremely hurt, and began to cry, knowing that here own mother who in the end rejected her also wanted payment for here services, as though she was some paid nanny, she also said that she would support me with my compaign
My point is that If legislation shows that my child is still owed any maintenance, then I would gladly pay it to her right now!!!!….but if this money is to be pay to my ex-wife to be spent on her new family, then I have to add “Over my dead body”……..The law needs to changed, and I will do what ever it takes to do so !!!… I just need your help.