Ex uses our daughter as a weapon

August 16, 2011

Hi, I have a seven year old daughter who’s mother I seperated from shortly after she was born. Ever since then her mother has done everything in her power to make me pay for it.

To cut a long and painful story short they both now live in Germany as my ex partner is married to a soldier stationed there. She has openly admitted she only moved there to ge rid of me out of my daughters life. It cost us thousands to rush the case through court before they departed to gain parental rights (what rights?) and agreed access in the holidays (3 times a year, dictated by my ex when). I recently spoke with my ex and pleaded with her to enter into a private agreemnt as the CSA are destroying me due to my high wage and having a good career. She agreed, then she delayed signing it and finally refused as the CSA had given her a sniff of more money.

They recently took over a thousand pound in so called arrears as I hadnt declared working overtime, I tried explaining the reason im working overtime is to compensate what they are taking and to feed and cloth the two kids I have at home, they didnt care and took it anyway, I told them I couldnt afford it all in two lots and I was reassured they could setup a payment plan, they didnt and I nearly lost my house cos I couldnt pay my mortgage. Ive complained numerous times and got nowhere, Ive asked for a face to face interview and been refused. What can I do? I want the DEO lifted from my wages and the CSA out of it, I want a private agreement but my ex refuses despite me having emails saying she has agreed.

Ive been to a lawyer to try and have a court decide this and they tell me its a waste of time and the court will favour on the CSA and its a waste of more money. I wish my ex would realise my daughters getting hurt the most out of this, we planned a family holiday this year with her and couldnt go because of what the CSA took in the last two months, dosent she realise my daughter would benifit more if she would just agree?

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