Ex said she would make life a misery before she even conceived

Well after around two years of working out of the UK being assessed at Nil payment for this period for both children managing to come to agreement with my Ex wife for my son and paying money into HIS own account for this period but unfornatly because I have no contact with my daughter I couldn’t implement a similar arraignment. I’m back home and had just had my first letter for reassessment from the CSA.

Now firstly let me settle a few questions before every one rants and believe me when I say I ask for no sympathy for my situation/s.

My daughter was born by a mother who at one point said “I’m going to make your life a misery” (this was said before my daughter was even conceived or so I still believe). The circumstances under conception are very hazy but I take my responsabilitys on board and live with them.

My son was born out of Wedlock and then his mother decided to have an affair with a work colleague which I took very badly and had no option but to leave simply because of trust issues and his mother not being the woman who I fell in love with and once thought I knew.

I have been paying CSA for the past 12 years and have generally had a good relationship with them this is the only time as said I have not been able to pay for my daughter due to no knowledge of her circumstances but have been able through mutual agreement been able to pay for my son and I might add into his own bank account (of which I might add also pay his Birthday and Xmas money to as well) The next few weeks are going to be very interesting and will keep you all posted.

On a few other points as you have guessed I am a NRP, I have no complaint on having to pay for my children regardless of who there mothers are and the manor in which they may have been conceived, my only complaint is that the way in which I am treated on various issues regarding assessments and the amount that has to be paid. Put it this way at one point during my assessments regarding my daughter, and I shall put this in percentages, for a calculated 24% rise in wages (which I might add was as a result of non guaranteed overtime) I was assessed at a 900% rise in CSA payments (just for my daughter).

One other point (amongst one or two others) which I whole hartedly disagree with is the FACT that if a parent with care is unemployed and receiving any child benifits some of my CSA payment is offset to pay for these benifits and the RP is then paid the difference from the remaining payment I have made, yet if the RP is in employment they receive the full payment in both CSA and any Child benifits, even more disturbing if we were still together as a couple and my other half was unemployed we would still receive any child benifits in full.

Just a couple of points to let you think about.

I have my responsabilitys and stand by them, I find it disgusting that some RP’s had difficulty in receiving payments or getting the CSA to claim the payments for them but one thing I do seem to see as a rec urging issue the most stories of NRP’s not paying seem to be the case of High Earners of NRP’s who have their own businesses who have the means to dodge the system and claim they have no money when they have.

Also I agree that there are a high percentage of these dodgers who are men but please don’t forget that there are women out there that are NRP’s that deliberately dodge the CSA as well, I would like to see the stigma of all dodgy NRP’s being men somewhat retracted.

Thanks for reading and will keep you posted!