Ex has everyone on her side despite shared care

I could go to prison for raising this in a public forum because my money-grubbing adulterous ex-wife secured a gagging order against me. However, I’m going to take that chance to get some injustices aired. Some of what follows might prevent another dad from being fed duff advice.

My ex had an 18-month affair. Loverboy has admitted everything in writing, she has denied it. Guess who the courts believe.

She filed a fatuous divorce petition. I tried to counter file on adultery and child cruelty. My first solicitor – a woman – failed to tick the right boxes. Gross negligence. My petition thrown out, nisi granted in favour of the bitch.

I fired first solicitor – currently suing for negligence – and instructed a second solicitor, she seems to be a bit more savvy but the ex still won over 60 per cent of marital assets including 80 per cent of endowment policies worth over £25,000 which I paid for 15 years but £30,000 I put into the marital home from the sale of a flat I owned before we were married – in essence exactly the same as the endowments – was deemed to be a 50:50 asset. Fair? I don’t think so.

At division of assets and preliminary residence hearings for my two sons my solicitor talked me into signing away all my rights to child benefits and tax credits so that my net income and that of my ex remain similar (if £500 more in her bank account each month is similar)and so I don’t have to pay maintenance to her.

Guess what – I wasn’t told that under C*** Support Agency law she is deemed primary carer if she gets the benefits despite a shared residence order where I have my sons Friday night to Monday morning every week and she has them Monday night to Friday morning. At least that’s what’s supposed to happen but I usually find out Friday night that she has made other arrangements for the weekend. Hands up anyone who thinks the courts will take action against her for breaching the court order – so it was just me then. They don’t.

Not content with £500 a month more than me she has now put the C*** Support thugs on to me and, without any regard for her higher net income these morons have “assessed” – they don’t know the meaning of the word – that I have to pay her £170 a month for that one extra night a week – making her at least £850 a month (net) richer than me and rendering me unable to take my children on holiday for the next four years or to pay for any weekend activities for them.

I wrote to the CSA explaining their rank stupidity but they obviously haven’t found an employee yet who can read or right.

And while I’m having a rant, has anyone else had to deal with the sexist idiots at Cafcass – an all woman local office and no monitoring of residence allocation over the past five years – I checked under a Freedom of Information Act request and that information is not collated. So we have an all woman Cafcass office recommending residence to women only and no monitoring. In my case, the officer made her recommendation based on items in her report which she deliberately falsified. Her report contains 42 paragraphs of which 19 are biased in my ex’s favour but my solicitor can’t see it. It includes consecutive paragraphs which start Mr XXXXX has done…, followed by Mr XXXXX has accused Mrs XXXXX of… In my case the allegation isn’t even true and in her case the allegation is absolutely true but the wording suggests it has no merit whatsoever. She also claimed I’d said I planned to move away from the area and I never said anything of the sort. And these women are not monitored. Ridiculous.

I’ve got to fight for my kids – they both hate their mother and the older one has already told me he will be moving out of her home on his 16th birthday – in 18 months. She has driven him to depression and caused the younger one to put a blade across his wrist but according to Cafcass the bitch should have residence.

Something has to be done to bring justice back into divorce – making the courts operate in the open instead of behind a veil of secrecy would be a good first step and then idiotic decisions like the one I’m going to end on won’t be allowed to happen.

This would be funny if it wasn’t so typically stupid of the system. Doddery female judge. Wife claims she should be allowed to keep the range cooker from the marital home (she moved out by the way) because it was bought with a bequest from her nan seven years ago and she is sentimentally attached to it. The judge actually ruled: “You men won’t understand this, but when XXXXX gets her dream home, if she has room for it then she must have the cooker because a woman can be sentimentally attached to a cooker.” What the f…

Just look at the crap in that ruling. “When she gets her dream home…” – I’ll be in rented accommodation for the rest of my life while she’ll be able to afford a home on a par with the former marital home. “If she has room for it…” – at what point is this to be determined as she can’t possibly buy her dream home until after the marital home is sold, therefore the cooker can’t be sold with the house. “Because a woman can be sentimentally attached to a cooker…” – since when have courts dealt in sentimentality? The only thing my money-grubbing whore of an ex is interested in is the money she can get for it.

If you never hear from me again, send a file to whatever prison I’m sent to.