CSA taking me to court

April 8, 2011

17 years ago I met a girl who seemed nice and being young and dumb I fell for her charms. It turned out she was a bit wild, by that I mean incredibly violent and totally and pathologically self centered to the point where if she could not get her own way she would react in an insane way and try to litterally illiminate the problem. I had to stop her from killing her sister with a pencil and she put her best friend in hospital by stamping on her face with stilletto heals. She tried to kill me on several occasions for reasons like ‘ She could not afford to go out!’ Unfortunately I got her pregnat. To which her reaction was ” Great I can get a council house”.

She drank and smoked through the entire pregnacy but luckily my daughter was born normal. We did live together after all this only for the babies sake. I looked after my beautiful little girl for 2 years, whilst her mother went on with her own life, going out on a friday and coming home on a sunday etc. But I did not care because I was happy with my daughter, she was my world and I did not care about anything other than her well being. The mother had affair after affair and when they broke down I would get the brunt of it. She never touched my daughter because she knew that I would probably defend her in kind. So my life continued in this fasion for the two years I was with them, I could not work in this time because I had no idea when I would have to be there for my daughter, which was pretty much constantly.

Then we got offered a house by the council. The mother left me and took my daughter. I thought ok fine I am finally rid of her and I would get custody of my daughter because she was not fit to look after her. I LOST. The mother told me I could see my daughter on week-ends when she wanted to go out and bring her back when her hang-overs subsided. I did not care because at least I had this time with my daughter. The first weekend I had her she sat on the sofa and said ” Daddy is a f*cking w*anker”. She sat there repeating this over and over, she was 2 for Gods sake.

When the mother finally turned up (with her sister) and I confronted her with this she attacked me, I put up some defense but her sister dropped hoover flex over my head and began to strangle me. Somehow I ended up face down on the floor and they both tried to strangle me together. All this happened in front of my baby. Luckily a friend of mine turned up and interveined, if he had not I have no doubt in my mind I would no be here today. I had to take an injunction order out on the mother and in response she cut me and my family completely out of my daughters life.

Her and her boyfriend threatened me with violence every time I tried to see my daughter.

The police or the courts did not listen and just said that she needed her mother. and I crawled into a bottle and stayed there for a long, long time. Through therapy and meeting a fantastic person (my partner), I gave up drink, smoking and self pity 🙂 and now have two beautiful daughters 20 months and 4 weeks. They are the best thing to happen to me since my first daughter who I miss with all my heart every day. I have had numerous therapy sessions with numerous people but realise that you have to come out of it yourself.

Just when I was getting to grips with my life I received a letter in the post from the CSA “We want £2144.82p off you now!” I rang them and said “What is this for?” “I was cut out of my daughters life”. Response “Don’t care, pay it!”.

“I do not have it”.
“Don’t care pay it”.
“Hang on don’t I get a say in this?”
“No!”

So I explained my story.

“So how would you like to pay?”
“Were you listening?”
“How would you like to pay?”

I hung up.

After calming down a bit I rang them back.

“Could you please give me a breakdown of payments please?” “You know who do I owe the money to exactly?”
“You owe the state £240 odd (exact words) and the rest to the mother, sorry your daughter”.
“Ok so could you contact the mother and ask if she wants the money?”
“OK we will try”.
“Well if you got hold of me then you can surely find her?”

They hung up.

Two days later I had a court summons because I refused to pay the full amount. Great. I rang them back.

“Did you get hold of the mother?”
“No but we assume because she is not responding she wants the money. Could you contact her?”.

What an incredibly stupid organisation.

I could not get to the court I had a summons to because it was in Cardiff. I live about 200 miles away from cardiff. So I rang the court to explain this and they changed it to somewhere closer, where I now have to attend on the 4th april. I have tried to get help from citizens advice, they were very unhelpful and quite rude. As soon as I mentioned the CSA they tried to fob me off. I am currently trying to get legal aid but do not have much time. The CSA have also now sent me a letter saying they need to re-adjust my maintenence payments. What maintenence payments? I am sick of phoning them and they are running my phone bill up all the time due to this.

I am a house dad at the moment, I am not claiming any benefits and we are surviving on my partners part time wage / maternity pay. All this was explained to the CSA but to no avail. I think they love taking people to court and probably bet each other if the can get the next one to commit suicide, this may seem like a harsh comment but they obviously have no feelings. Maybe the war criminals and murderers that the government give british passports to willy-nilly are given jobs instantly with the CSA. I agree that this organisation needs to be taken to the human rights court.

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