CMS battle is destroying our kids’ lives

March 17, 2016

Well originally I left my ex-wife due to her infidelity and frivolous behaviour i.e. not leaving us any money to live on.

I started paying CSA on the old system and had nowhere to live so was sleeping in my car and the amount the CSA wanted I could not afford to get anywhere. This went on for a while till my parents stepped in and moved me in as I could not afford to live anywhere else. Eventually true to form my ex moved in a boyfriend and fell pregnant but at the divorce proceedings failed to inform the judge so she got everything because I left.

Luckily I met someone who I am still with after all these years and I moved in with her.

During this time she continually held the kids to ransom not letting me see them over the Christmas because she believed she was not getting enough money but could I get any help no! All I kept getting from the CSA pay for the child’s sake think of the children.

In 2002 she lost custody of my children and the one she had with the other boyfriend. She failed to return the Child benefit for 3 months did not pay any CSA and was behind with the Mortgage and was trying to get me to pay for that too!!

For over 8 years we had those children and never once received a penny from her. We still had phone calls from the CSA trying to extract money from us even though we had custody. She lost the house a little time after that and even then I got stiffed with half the arrears even though I had the children and the divorce court said I should not have to pay anything else but lo and behold the judge felt sorry for her and I paid half her arrears and the house was sold and I received a paltry 60%  of the value minus the £2000.00 I had to pay in arrears so in fact I lost more by going to court than if I had received the 33% I originally was eligible for. She even tried to fix that too by selling the house cheaply so she could stay in the house but that fell through when the person who she sold the house to moved their daughter in after saying they were going to do it up.

During this period she was actually working but as soon as the CSA contacted her and told her she would have a detachment of earnings she gave up work citing the fact she had to have the children for 2 weeks over the school holidays as she had already had a holiday in France the two weeks before!!! Well the debt stayed there £1196.00 for the whole 8 years never once did they collect a penny, just sending us letters and promising to deal with it. She had told the CSA that she had no income so should not pay anything and the fact she was nil assessed meant we would get nothing. We sent them proof of her working from her own Facebook page but they could not accept this as proof her excuse was she was living on friends and family.

We are now in 2016 and the youngest child went back to live with her 3 years ago after being promised all sorts but she has actually destroyed his education, moved him from his school to another one, her got expelled then moved him to another school all this during the most important years of his education. Of course she applied to the CSA to claim her dues!!!! Well we refused to pay her anything until at least the debt she owed was cleared. It took several letters to my MP and to the head of the CSA when they finally agreed to Offset the debt against her payment. This was going fine until July 2013 when they stopped, we continued to pay the amount required weekly without paying the arrears, because as far as we were concerned this would be cleared with the arrears she owed but oh no the CSA only moved both the arrears and the amount owed to the new system and guess what they want to make a payment plan for me and my ex as she will not accept that the arrears should be offset

And that is where we are today they are ringing us and telling us to pay and she is ringing them telling them she wants the money. I have contacted my new M.P. to enrich her life and questioned why the Tax payer has to put up with all this double dealing. My son is suffering from depression now because she will not allow him to see his Dad even though he is 18 years old he was told to chose between his Mother and Father, plus she wants to keep getting money, which will never be enough, he had to go to college to get his Maths and English as he failed all his exams, no surprise there, but now I am having to pay for him to go to college to compensate for this. I do not mind that so much but want to know why the CSA still expect him to continue paying for the higher level course he has supposed to get into for Music. I find this a little surprising as he only did music for a year and there was no place for him for the second year and according to their entrance requirements, he needs at least 5 A-C grades and pass an audition to get this but he certainly does not have 5 A-C grades in fact I’m not even sure he has passed his Maths and English yet either. Either way this case has dragged on and on and on in her favour all this time not once has anyone thought of the effect it is actually having or had on the children themselves. My eldest finished his schooling with me and went to college and is doing very well. He told his Mother that as she never paid anything during there stay with  me why should she expect payment for the youngest but money is her God and the CSA are the tool she is using to extract it. When will there be any equality and justice!!!Anyway new system is a joke and they do not listen to anything you have to say, so be warned same organisation just less understanding people.