Being called a ‘slapper’ by the CSA was downright incredible

I was 8 weeks pregnant with a wanted child and a month off our long planned wedding when my ex left without a word. Having written only one letter I was threatened by the police so now myself and my beautiful daughter have no contact with him whatsoever and never have had (he has NEVER asked to see her). When she was born I put in her claim for CSA and was told repeatedly by many different advisors that no matter how long it took her claim would be backdated.

My ex just kept ignoring letters and throwing them in the bin. On one occasion I answered a call from the CSA where a woman accused me of lying, that our daughter was not his and that I was just ‘a slapper’ (her words) that he’d had a one night stand with and that I was trying to ‘pin it on him’. I assured her that I was not and he most certainly is our daughters father and that could be proved with DNA . Trouble was he wouldn’t turn up to the centre or there was always a problem. All this time I was assured that my daughter’s claim would be backdated, he had no reason to behave like this, it was not sinister and that “as I was breastfeeding my baby there was no rush”.

Nearly 11 months passed and still my daughter had had not one penny. I had cancer so was on sick pay and was struggling to find the money for nappies, never mind anything else. I was told finally that (of course) he’d been proved to be our daughter’s father and her claim could go through- from that day- not backdated. I had been told all along that our claim would be backdated, that there was no reason for his actions, so why would he lie (about me being a slapper etc)but because he had another child with another woman who also had to go through the CSA my baby wasn’t entitled to anything until he was proven her father. Apparently my baby “was taking food out of the other child’s mouth”. These stupid rules that are being manipulated by ‘men’ like him cost my baby good nutrition for the first year and most important year of her life.

It cost me untold amounts of stress already piled onto a difficult situation and to have been called a slapper by someone at the CSA was downright incredible. My ex is still playing these silly games- claiming to be unemployed so that my daughter’s money has stopped for the last year. Lies. a simple check on the internet (he’s a children’s book writer) could have proven that, but it has taken the CSA a whole year to find this out. They are still dragging their heels (though seem to be better trained at customer service these days)and what they are proposing he pay will not be enough to even feed our little dog never mind my beautiful girl.

At every turn the CSA has supported this obnoxious excuse for a man and until those who make children are made to be responsible for them the CSA can never work.