Where do I stand with CSA if ex’s new husband is adopting my daughter?

March 24, 2017

I live in the U.K and married my wife 16 years ago. She is Australian. We have a child but split up due to money issues within a year. When my daughter was 2, she moved back to Brisbane Australia with her, without giving me any notice.

I have had no actual contact with my daughter who is now 13 years old.

I was requested to pay child maintenance through a court payment order through U.K. CSA to Auz CSA which I have done without problem although I have always felt that as I have no possibility of contact with my daughter, I should not be held responsible for maintenance. Her mother chose to sever all ties with me and move to the other side of the planet. It was against my wishes.

My wife remarried 2 years ago and I have found out that last September 2016, her new husband applied to adopt my daughter.

Everything I have read suggests that I now have no legal rights to my daughter and also that I am not required to pay maintenance.

CSA still asks me for maintenance payments but do I need to pay if she has been adopted? I was not even consulted about the adoption so I guess it was deemed that I was not needed to consent to that either.

Fathers rights really are very thin and I lost all possibility of seeing my daughter, yet still held accountable for sending huge amounts of my pay in their direction.

If I now don’t need to pay maintenance, how do I go about finding out?

Son reached out to me and now ex isn’t letting me see him

March 17, 2017

Please. Can anyone help me!

Ok so a year ago my son got in contact with me his 13years he told me he wanted to see me and wants to no but me and his mother split when he was 3years old I when to court/ wrote her letters but she made it very hard for me to see my son she even moved house so I couldn’t find my son I felt it was best to leave it but I when to court send her letter but then she moved and I didn’t no where she was!

So In 2016 I was walking home from been out then out of the blue my son was their he started talking to me it was the best feeling ever then I got a text from him saying I want to see you and no you that was great everything was great he staying with me Friday till Sunday for about 6months then just before Xmas I said to his mum I want his school report because she told me his been bad not listen been with the wrong people so I said ok then I was hearing my son was going miles with his mates stealing from pepole ect so I asked his mother then wish she told me his my falt I’m messing with his head because I haven’t been in his life but I tryed my best to but she stil let me have him sleep just before Xmas I when online and seen he was selling My daughters iPad so I question his mum she wasn’t all that arsed her words was I will tell police at school will speak to him ok as I don’t no my right I didn’t go to school then everything started going wrong she told my son he wasn’t aloud to see him then she when to csa for money I’m happy to pay it but she didn’t it very sly and now I have lost my son and I have pay her she says it her money his aloud it I told her you made it hard for me to see my son for 13years I been to court wrote you letter then you go to csa and I have to pay how is that fair?

I’ve been told my her own dad she lets my son go anywhere with his friends he told me that he had my son last week because his mum and her boyfriend wants to go for a weekend away? He said she tells my son lies about me or did I mention my son didn’t no I was his real did till he was 8years because she made him call her boyfriend dad! She keeps on texting my family things about me and telling anyone who will listen things. Sorry for a ranting I am just wondering if I can get any advice or help do I have to pay her csa or can i put it in a saving account for him because I no he won’t see it where do I go about his behaviour?

Will my job change affect my clean break order?

March 9, 2017

I’m just about to finishing my service of 22 yrs in the Armed Forces. I have secured a job but at a £10k pay drop, so naturally my monthly maintenance payments will change and drop by £100pm. As a part of our divorce I got a clean break order from the courts in life/death regarding my armed forces pension. can my ex wife try and claim my pension as an income to supplement the maintenance payments? As two years ago she withheld £4000 from money she owed me (what she would’ve been entitled too in the divorce – but she agreed not to pursue!) I didn’t make a fuss as it had taken 8yrs to get any money she owed me!

I wondering if these clean break orders from the court really that bomb proof?

How can I make a backdated claim against my ex?

March 9, 2017

My youngest daughters father whom is Portuguese hasn’t seen her since she was 18 months old she’s now 7 nearly 8 and we had to flee domestically abuse from him in 2011 when she was 18 months old. Iv never claimed csa and in 2012 he moved back to Portugal. I want to know how I can claim for my daughter and if possible claim back dated pay ???

I’m ordered to pay for my child who I am not allowed access to

March 7, 2017

I am the mother of one beautiful little girl. She will be 10 in June 2017. My ex husband has full custody of her and he lives in AZ I live in Michigan. I first moved here to be with my parents and to get a stable life so I could provide for her, in January 2015. I am ordered to pay $280/month in child support but the ex will not let me see or talk to her since January 2015. He trusts telling me she wants nothing to do with me but he won’t let her tell me that if it’s true and his wife, my ex best friend, isn’t making it any better. What should I do? Please help me and send advice and/or resources.

CSA demanding funds from 1995 even though ex-wife confirmed private arrangement

March 5, 2017

I have just received a demand for £30,000 and a request for detail on finances covering the period 1995-1999. I have never entered into an arrangement with the CSA but did receive a demand from them maybe 16 or 17 years ago which was resolved by my ex-wife confirming that we had a private maintenance arrangement and I was paying her funds in excess of the CSA recommended amount to her directly on a monthly basis. I am shocked and mystified as to why this would surface now after all these years. I now live in Australia and have a new family. My older kids are 26, 28 and 30 this year!! I don’t know what to do as I don’t have any of the documentation from this period – I’m fearful that if I get in touch with them that they will step up proceedings to pursue these funds which are simply not due. Can anyone offer any advice?

Ex sends me death threats but I fear the law will turn on me

March 4, 2017

On behalf of all the men out there going through this I want to say that from my experience the system and laws concerning parenting are completely SEXIST and lack EQUALITY for men as parents. My ex doesn’t allow me to see my son, and in the few moments that she hasn’t blocked contact with me I was always trying very hard to make effort to see my son and be there for him.

The only reason I stopped trying to see him which was about 10 months ago, at which time I had also not seen him for at least 6 months was because my ex was sending me death threats and harassing me. Up until recently I was getting back in control of my life, in my 2nd year of university, and I receive messages from my friends saying that my ex is sending them hateful messages about me on facebook to everyone.

So now I’m thinking enough is enough, after the death threats and now this next level harassment I’m thinking to actually take this to the police. But because of the way the law works against men as parents I’m concerned that I could be brought up on some sort of child maintenance charges. All I know is for how disrespectfully she’s treated me and threatening me there’s absolutely no way that I’d pay her a penny. I’d sooner go to jail then send her money that’s how it feels for me. I’d happily help look after my son and provide help to support him financially but now being around my ex is out of the question because I fear she’s mentally unstable with the death threats and all. I’d like to know how the law really works, how much trouble either my ex or myself can get in with the current situation. Also I live in the UK so I don’t know if the law is much different to the U.S.

It’s just so frustrating from a dad’s perspective to not only have your child taken away from you but to know he’s being raised to most likely hate you and that you are being told pay her money even if you can’t see him. I think this system is very disrespectful to men and I really hope they make some drastic changes soon enough so future fathers don’t have to go through the hell that I’m going through.

Change of jobs means CSA calculations are way off!

February 10, 2017

Since May 2016 been having real problems with the CSA, was made redundant and the CSA rang both me and my ex telling me to stop paying , I did this against my better wishes, lucky I found a new job and started 27th June 2017, I informed the CSA and they wanted payslips as prof, I sent the first one off end of July 2017, unfortunately they would not accept this ,as this was over a full months wages, middle of August 2017 I took my son on holiday for 3 weeks, so that ruled out Aug’s salary, before I went away I handed my notice in and on my return I started a new job 5th sept 2017, so September’s salary was not a full month’s either , moving on to October and November salary have been handed in ,but they are now saying I’m months in arrears , have been ringing them every week and getting nowhere to sort the problem out ex is now insisting I pay the CSA direct which will cost me another 20% , I’m more than happy to pay the arrears off if they can come back with the right figure but we are a million miles away, can’t be that different but they are making it so, it’s so difficult to work out , and now they are going back 4 years unsure while as I have always paid what they have stated, just seems never ending at present 9/2/17 they were supposed to ring again and nothing one step forward and 3 back sorry to say. help needed.

I’m paying CSA but I’ve been threatened by bailiffs

February 6, 2017

I have been taken to court for arrears. At the time i could afford the £100 per week but due to loosing my job and the economic melt down, I contact the CSA by mail to let them know that i could only afford £100 per month. I heard nothing from them so i changed my standing order to £100 per month. I admit i have missed a couple of these payments but generally i have kept the up. Out of the blue i receive an enforcement letter from a company called Marston. I contact them via email but had no reply. I told them i was in contact with the CSA and the dept was being paid from my bank. I have now just received a final notice with intent to recover goods from my home. What can i do? “HELP” please.

CSA have too much power and the wrong information

February 3, 2017

I could really do with help/advice/cyanide pill, any one of those will do at the moment. I’m in £27k debt, which StepChange are trying to help me with, my income is less than my outgoings, i have a 3 year old Son who’s being assessed for Autism/Aspergers and our Landlord won’t renew our tenancy, won’t tell us why and so we have to find somewhere else to live….


I have two children with my Ex-Mistake and this new CSA firm are screwing me over massively. I was currently paying £300 a month with the old CSA but this new firm have turned up, flexed their muscles and all of a sudden they now want £500 a month from me!! The reason?…. HMRC have me earning £39,000 a year. Yeah i was, last April, but that company has gone into liquidation and i’m now scraping £32,000. But these scumbags don’t care, they have ‘Information’ on my £39k so they’re using that. It doesn’t matter that I have a dozen new payslips here, telling a different story, or about my money issues in the opening paragraph. Paying that much will cost me everything, my current relationship, my Son, any chance in affording somewhere else, everything! I thought my Ex and I were on OK terms, but now i’ve seen the real greedy, selfish, spoiled her and i’m glad we’re apart. This new CSA have FAR TOO MUCH power, they take nothing into consideration (ie, my debt and problems or the massive amount her partner earns) and you can’t turn to anyone for help or to argue against them. It’s like screaming at a brick wall. I don’t have the amount of money they are asking for and you can’t get blood out of a stone. But they are certainly going to try!!

If anyone has any advice that can help me i’d be grateful. I obviously want to pay for my children, but i need to keep a roof over my other one too!

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