When do I stop paying CSA if my children are now working?

May 22, 2017

I have been paying csa for my 2 children since my ex and I split 4 years ago. My children are now 17 and 16, one is about to leave school and start full time employment but she has already been working 30 hrs a week while at school. My son is in a similar situation and wants to leave school and start a career in electrical engineering, he has the grades mow but his mother is advising him to stay on at school to get more qualifications as possible.

My thinking is its more to do with receiving csa from me. Just this week I’ve had a call regarding shared care from the csa as my ex has called them to say that I have them stay less than 52 nights a year which is borderline, but down to there jobs etc it has become less and less, again trying to get more cash from me. She works FT and her new partner does aswell. I also work FT. My question is when do I stop paying csa now that they are working and I also receive a War Disablement Pension, what payments are taken into account with csa and should I just be paying the flat rate? All very confusing help!!!

Can I change son’s name without ex knowing?

May 15, 2017

I had a child with my ex 5 years ago we was in a 6 year relationship before having my baby. and the baby was planned. But as soon as the baby came my ex started to get more and more abusive (as he was before we had a child) but I stayed as I wanted my son to have what I thought was a “family” a mother and father so I got his name on the BC but then it got too hard to stay so I left with my son when he was 9 months old. It has now been 5 years and we have had no contact and he has never paid for anything. My son is going to start school soon and he knows his self to have the same name as me but iv been told that schools go by what’s on BC. as I don’t have any contact with father is there any way I could change my childs last name without my ex knowing?

Parents should stop acting like children and do what is right for their kids!

May 2, 2017

I just wanted to say that after reading many complaints a lot of fathers think ALL women are out to get money and stop the men seeing the children.

This is very sad because I’ve always believed that if you separate it gas nothing to do with patenting and mothers or fathers have equal rights to see their children! I upheld my beliefs and when I separated because of a 13 year marriage filled with violence towards me (not the children at that time) I allowed access on weekends and holidays and wherever possible as I believe it’s not morally right to stop a (good father) seeing he’s children, but in my case I discovered through my daughter their father transferred he’s abuse to them after we had separated and it’s my duty as a patent to protect my babies so I stopped contact, he was investigated through cafcass and a section 7 report revealed abuse of my children 😡 he is NOT allowed to see or contact the children due to he’s violent behavior and that is he’s own fault.

I’m sorry for any fathers out there that are not allowed access due to a relationship breakdown who are GOOD fathers, but it is still financially right to support the children’s day to day need ‘s. I understand a lot of women are childish and use children as tools and this is very wrong, because it’s hurting the children and I just hope that women and some men can wake up and be adults and stop playing silly games with children’s lives.


Daughter is in my care and I pay CMS – How can I get recognised as full-time parent?

April 10, 2017

My daughter is 12, i have been separated from her mum for over 10 years, during this time i have had always had full unrestricted access to my child, she has stayed with me at least 3 times a week and I have always and remain to be financially responsible for her (I work and earn more than decent money, her mother doesn’t so 10 times out 10 it is me who will purchase or pay for whatever is needed at the time, I am also the first and only person she asks if she needs anything).

My current partner and I have, in the past couple of years had two sons, my daughter’s mother has also had a new daughter, since this has happened the situation has escalated to the point where my daughter is only spending 1-2 nights a week at her mother’s house, hence in my eyes I am the main carer for my daughter.

The situation with the child maintenance service is as follows – as I said earlier I have always provided the very best I could for my daughter, she has never gone without anything she’s ever needed, which I have always provided for. Around 3 years ago I was contacted by the CMS stating that I had not been paying for my child and that they were beginning collection procedures against me, I refused to pay as I was already financially responsible for my child and as far as I was concerned she was in my full time care anyway, they stated that my child’s mum had said that I only see my daughter once a week, this obviously was not the truth, I stated as much but the CMS don’t seem believe me so again I refused to pay, I was willing to take the matter to court if need be, however months and plenty of lengthy phone calls with the CMS later, her mum stated that she was willing to negotiate a figure that i should pay, a family arrangement they call it, this figure was agreed, even though i really should have had to.

I have kept to this family arrangement even though I have always felt I shouldn’t need to pay anything to her mother as my daughter is in my care, however it has now got to the stage where she isn’t getting looked after off her mum, her mum isn’t in the house when she finished school, so I am having to finish work early most days, I pay for all her dinners, clothing, private spends, mobile phone, etc, etc.

The CSM have stated that I have to prove that I have the amount of contact I have by way of court order, which I do not have due to the fact I have never had to get legal access, I have always had access to her they have also stated that any monies I pay should be paid into my daughters mum’s bank account, however when I do this my daughter doesn’t see any of it and she still asks me for whatever it is that is needed at the time. Now I would like apply to be legally my daughters full time parent or at least have split parental responsibility, I don’t know how to achieve this as the solicitors I have spoken to have stated that there is no case to fight as I have access, however I no longer want to pay maintenance payments as the money isn’t being spent on my daughter.

I would like to be recognised by a court as my daughter’s full time parent.

Even though I pay maintenance, ex won’t let me see my son

April 4, 2017

I am writing as I have a son age 10 living with me as I have custardy and another son who’s 6 but I haven’t seen him since he was 1 but I have been paying £40.00 per week for since I have tries/asked to see him but my ex will not let me see him. so after another row she told me to stop paying a week ago , but she has rung today demanding money , I’m still not aloud to see him ! where do I stand on payments do I stop paying or keep paying even though I would love to see my son.

Where do I stand with CSA if ex’s new husband is adopting my daughter?

March 24, 2017

I live in the U.K and married my wife 16 years ago. She is Australian. We have a child but split up due to money issues within a year. When my daughter was 2, she moved back to Brisbane Australia with her, without giving me any notice.

I have had no actual contact with my daughter who is now 13 years old.

I was requested to pay child maintenance through a court payment order through U.K. CSA to Auz CSA which I have done without problem although I have always felt that as I have no possibility of contact with my daughter, I should not be held responsible for maintenance. Her mother chose to sever all ties with me and move to the other side of the planet. It was against my wishes.

My wife remarried 2 years ago and I have found out that last September 2016, her new husband applied to adopt my daughter.

Everything I have read suggests that I now have no legal rights to my daughter and also that I am not required to pay maintenance.

CSA still asks me for maintenance payments but do I need to pay if she has been adopted? I was not even consulted about the adoption so I guess it was deemed that I was not needed to consent to that either.

Fathers rights really are very thin and I lost all possibility of seeing my daughter, yet still held accountable for sending huge amounts of my pay in their direction.

If I now don’t need to pay maintenance, how do I go about finding out?

Son reached out to me and now ex isn’t letting me see him

March 17, 2017

Please. Can anyone help me!

Ok so a year ago my son got in contact with me his 13years he told me he wanted to see me and wants to no but me and his mother split when he was 3years old I when to court/ wrote her letters but she made it very hard for me to see my son she even moved house so I couldn’t find my son I felt it was best to leave it but I when to court send her letter but then she moved and I didn’t no where she was!

So In 2016 I was walking home from been out then out of the blue my son was their he started talking to me it was the best feeling ever then I got a text from him saying I want to see you and no you that was great everything was great he staying with me Friday till Sunday for about 6months then just before Xmas I said to his mum I want his school report because she told me his been bad not listen been with the wrong people so I said ok then I was hearing my son was going miles with his mates stealing from pepole ect so I asked his mother then wish she told me his my falt I’m messing with his head because I haven’t been in his life but I tryed my best to but she stil let me have him sleep just before Xmas I when online and seen he was selling My daughters iPad so I question his mum she wasn’t all that arsed her words was I will tell police at school will speak to him ok as I don’t no my right I didn’t go to school then everything started going wrong she told my son he wasn’t aloud to see him then she when to csa for money I’m happy to pay it but she didn’t it very sly and now I have lost my son and I have pay her she says it her money his aloud it I told her you made it hard for me to see my son for 13years I been to court wrote you letter then you go to csa and I have to pay how is that fair?

I’ve been told my her own dad she lets my son go anywhere with his friends he told me that he had my son last week because his mum and her boyfriend wants to go for a weekend away? He said she tells my son lies about me or did I mention my son didn’t no I was his real did till he was 8years because she made him call her boyfriend dad! She keeps on texting my family things about me and telling anyone who will listen things. Sorry for a ranting I am just wondering if I can get any advice or help do I have to pay her csa or can i put it in a saving account for him because I no he won’t see it where do I go about his behaviour?

Will my job change affect my clean break order?

March 9, 2017

I’m just about to finishing my service of 22 yrs in the Armed Forces. I have secured a job but at a £10k pay drop, so naturally my monthly maintenance payments will change and drop by £100pm. As a part of our divorce I got a clean break order from the courts in life/death regarding my armed forces pension. can my ex wife try and claim my pension as an income to supplement the maintenance payments? As two years ago she withheld £4000 from money she owed me (what she would’ve been entitled too in the divorce – but she agreed not to pursue!) I didn’t make a fuss as it had taken 8yrs to get any money she owed me!

I wondering if these clean break orders from the court really that bomb proof?

How can I make a backdated claim against my ex?

March 9, 2017

My youngest daughters father whom is Portuguese hasn’t seen her since she was 18 months old she’s now 7 nearly 8 and we had to flee domestically abuse from him in 2011 when she was 18 months old. Iv never claimed csa and in 2012 he moved back to Portugal. I want to know how I can claim for my daughter and if possible claim back dated pay ???

I’m ordered to pay for my child who I am not allowed access to

March 7, 2017

I am the mother of one beautiful little girl. She will be 10 in June 2017. My ex husband has full custody of her and he lives in AZ I live in Michigan. I first moved here to be with my parents and to get a stable life so I could provide for her, in January 2015. I am ordered to pay $280/month in child support but the ex will not let me see or talk to her since January 2015. He trusts telling me she wants nothing to do with me but he won’t let her tell me that if it’s true and his wife, my ex best friend, isn’t making it any better. What should I do? Please help me and send advice and/or resources.

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