A way to cap how much CSA I pay?
April 25, 2012
Right, to make things clear, I am an excellent and responsible parent, which is why I have been happily paying £300 a month maintenance leaving me very little to live on resulting in me having rent a tiny room in a shared house. On top of this I have to pay £200 a month to see my daughter in a contact centre.
Now guess how much I earn? Its 37K and I still can’t afford to pay my bills and I am getting into more and more debt and into serious financial trouble!
I more than pay for my daughters upkeep, I know the mum can easily get by on £200 or less since she has a free house and everything is paid for her, she has no outgoings. So every time I see my daughter I notice not only is she wearing new expensive designer clothes (different every time), she has different/new designer shoes, new expensive designer lunchbox, new designer drinks bottle, do I need to go on?
Basically the ex is taking the micky! I want to make sure my daughter has everything she needs and is provided for, but does she need a different lunch box and drinks bottle every week?!?!?!?!?!?!
I think not! So now finally to try and get myself out of trouble, I have a new job on more money but once my ex finds out I’m on more money she will demand more and then I’m right back to square one where I can’t afford to eat!!!
It REALLY gets to me that I have worked very hard all of my life throughout education all the way to uni and then really hard in my career working silly hours to get to where I am. So why should I give all of it away to someone who has done nothing with their life? I will happily pay for anything she needs such as school clothes, clubs, holidays, etc, etc.
BUT I don’t want to be giving ALL of my money to my ex who just wastes it, and god knows how much stuff she has bought herself out of my VERY hard earned money!!!!
So what I want to know, is there some way of capping how much I pay? Although £300 is still a lot, I am happy to continue paying that, but no more!!!
My new job is contracting so at least that helps a bit with being self-employed but I still need to declare everything I earn to the taxman so there’s no way of hiding it. I know I can claim expenses but they would be sooo small that it would make very little difference.
I love my daughter to bits and she is my world and I would do anything for her, I want to be able to save up to buy her big presents for xmas and her birthday and to take her on holiday, etc but I can’t afford to live let alone save! And the ex once again looks like the better parent since she has all of my money to buy her big presents and take her away, etc. So yes it is a very unfair system, but it also works both ways, in this case, it is very unfair on the father!
It gets worst, since I only get to see my daughter every other weekend for 2.5 hours in a contact centre, thanks to the ex once again. I haven’t been able to afford to take her to court for more access because I am paying out so much! So I have felt trapped for over a year now. This was the main reason for the new job, so I can finally take her to court and get the access I deserve, I want it to be at least once a week minimum, I would love for it to be every second of everyday but I know that is not realistic. Ideally, to start with, I would at least want to have her for a day and have her overnight once a week, 2 or 3 times a week would be better but I know that would be unrealistic to start with.
And this is the part which really sickens me, you pay EVEN MORE if you see your child less!!! So the ex stops me seeing my daughter and then I have to pay even more!!!!!! Hmmmm, sounds really fair to me!
I am hoping someone can help me…
A good, very loving and desperate father.