Why should I pay CSA when I do not see my son at all?

October 7, 2012

Just a short and to the point story.

My son is 11 I haven’t seen him since he was 4 due to his mother moving and refusing to give me the address. Yet I still have to pay £200 a month from my small work wages. I cannot afford this I support 3 kids of my own and a huge mortgage. Don’t suppose anyone else has this problem.

I have tried to find my son and had no luck. Why should I pay this amount of money when I don’t see my son at all? The system is soon wrong in many ways.



8 Responses to “Why should I pay CSA when I do not see my son at all?”

  1. John on October 8th, 2012 9:42 am

    No Contact = No Pay

    Just don’t, go self employed, move to the Isle of Man there are plenty of options as long as you have the determination to fight. The system has failed in it’s duty to support you with contact with your children. If you can get control of the money then see how the situation changes.

  2. Gonk on October 8th, 2012 1:35 pm

    I agree with John
    Makes my blood boil ,yours is not alone.im screwed £320 every month for a daughter taken away from me by her cheating mother,and this is my reward lol…I to don’t even know where she lives.the csa don’t give a shit about how,what,why ,right,wrong etc etc…so long as they rob us each month using the the smoke screen ” child support” money as an excuse to just tax us even more to pay the treasury.
    Call me old fashioned…but in my book, when another man goes out of his way to take another’s wife and kids…then he should pay to support them…why should I ? .even less so when I never see her because of the bitch mother,even less so when a system does nothing to make sure that the money is infact spent on the child and not subsidising the mother and her new partners lifestyle….f*****ing morally soooo soo wrong that fathers are treated like this.

  3. Tray on October 9th, 2012 11:31 am

    It is frustrating and I am one who knows from experience, so I can sympathise. I can see from both sides being a PWC and a NRPW. We only get contact of my husbands little boy as his ex’s mood swings allow. She prevents contact at every opportunity, tells the boy grown up information that he shouldnt be privvy to (hes 5) and badmouths and discusses the situation with him, in my opinion taking away his innocence and manipulating him, its actually a form of child abuse. BUT she still thinks DH is fair game for a raid on his his wallet, so she wants the financial relationship, but severely restricts an emotional one being made between father and son. And what do the CSA think? As long as your financial commitment is met every month, your fulfilling your responsibilities as a Dad, end of. They dont care if your being prevented from a relationship with your child from a bitter ex, hell bent on destroying it every step of the way, your on your own, its so wrong. Unless of course you have the money to go to court which costs thousands. Every Dad should pay for their children – equally every Dad should be entitled to a relationship with their children.

  4. chall on October 9th, 2012 1:58 pm

    Quote Peter; Don’t suppose anyone else has this problem.

    Sadly, far to many non resident parents have problems maintaining a relationship with their children.

    I completely agree with Tray ‘Every Dad should pay for their children – equally every Dad should be entitled to a relationship with their children.’ And every child should be entitled to have a relationship with both their parents, unless of course the child is likely to be at risk of harm.

    Have you tried to obtain contact through the courts?
    Form C4 ~ Application for an order for disclosure of a child’s whereabouts.
    Form C100 ~ Apply for contact.

    chall ~ afairercsaforall

  5. Tray on October 10th, 2012 12:45 pm

    Good advice about the form C100, we tried that and i think i am right in it only costs in the region of £40 to lodge. Unfortunately it is only valid in England and is not recognised at all in Scotland, and they dont have anything similar, but was worth a try at that price!

  6. Alice on October 10th, 2012 6:53 pm

    to put it bluntly you should pay because he is your son. I know that sounds heartless and I don’t say it lightly, but your son deserves to be supported regardless of whether you see him or not. The comment above stating no contact no payment is unrealistic. There are many cases where there contact would not be in the best interest of the child, I am in no way saying that this applies to you, but the CSA cannot get into access issues, that is the job of the family lawyers or family courts.

    You say you are supporting another 3 children – have you advised the CSA of this as you are entitled to an allowance for the children in your household even if they are not your biological children.

  7. Mark on October 17th, 2012 1:13 am

    They wonder why fathers for justice are taking things out of hand, this is exactly why, I’m not in the same boat, but I know someone who is, they think just because women give birth to the child, they think the mother should have 100% rights because she gives birth and fathers should get less right, just because they are the seed giver, there is such thing as emotional pain, emotional pain has driven fathers to the worse extremes, because of CSA, kidnapping, suicide and revenge, theses are all caused by bad mothers who do not allow their child to see their fathers and csa making it worse by taking money and making men poor, so they wouldn’t be able to make journeys to see their kids and even give them any luxury or toys….etc, the law needs to change.

  8. tj on October 17th, 2012 9:30 pm

    there are around 1million plus dads paying csa, in the uk…. if we all stood together they would have to listen… power is in the hands of the dads stand united.. will be the only way they system can be beaten… i was blackmaild by the sick woman who has my little girl… as soon as a i took her to court to see my little girl, she contacted the csa, she will be one next month and ive seen her 4 times… and i have taken her to the courts she get legal aid i struggle to pay my solicitor… and she laughs the system sinks… and cafcass are a joke.. the courts take an age… it sick,,, ive done 100% and my little girl is not allow to have a great daddy sick

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