Why are the CSA taking so long when I need support now?

June 3, 2014

I left my Ex in Sept 2013, March 2014 I had still received no child maintenance, so I phoned CSA/CMS, they contacted him and made an assessment, he then begged me to come to mutual agreement, to which I agreed.

The mutual agreement was a lot less than the CSA had calculated. 2 months went by and I still received no payments. So 2nd May I contacted the CSA again. I have phoned them today and they have still not made contact with him. (As if hes going to answer the phone to them?)

I asked how long it will be before I can expect any payments and they informed me it would probably be no earlier than the end of August. How can it possibly take so long? and why is he given the courtesy of 2-3 letters, and at least 4 phone call attempts?

All the while I am trying to keep a roof over my sons head on a part time wage, whilst the Ex is going and buying a new car, new driveway etc. So his is not a case of can’t pay it is definitely won’t pay. I have advised the CSA of his recent purchases, but nothing will make them act any quicker.

Comments

  • Gonk says:

    You mention you left him……why, you don’t say.if you left him because you got bored or opened your legs for another bloke and he found out? Then I say…I hope it takes forever for you to get anything from him…some of you women think having kids is a means to get hand outs and use the ex as a ATM machine.
    I pay my ex £300 a month for this privilege of her screwing around and relieving me of my parental duties instead for the German she spread her legs for. I say fuck all you women who shit on responsible husbands and fathers, dumping them because you couldn’t keep your legs closed but still expect them to give you cash each month.
    NO, fucking outrageous, YOUR choice to walk so get on with it.
    If this don’t apply to you author, then I wish you would have tried coming to a mutual agreement and leave the dreaded CSA out of the picture.
    And at Julie dawn archer
    Wind your fucking neck in and shut the fuck up…who the fuck are you to suggest blokes should keep their dicks in their trousers if they don’t want kids, you cheeky cow. As I said here. I DID NOT SHIRK MY RESPONSIBILITY AS A FATHER. And I’m sure thousands of other dads didn’t. Instead their shit on, probably by women like you. Why is it always the mans fault for not keeping his dick in his pants? Why is it never the woman’s fault for not keeping her legs closed? And another thing Julie high and mighty dawn archer. When I took my dick out and my ex opened her legs, we did it because at the time I thought WE BOTH wanted a child? Sadly now I see that was only one sided, shame I never had a crystal ball around the time, I would never have had a child with her. She just uses my daughter as a cash cow and her dad as the ATM machine.
    Clintons remarks are no better than yours but at least he…being a loser like most NRP’s on here regarding getting screwed by CSA and some of the scrounging mothers on here..I can half forgive him for his remarks, he’s frustrated as I am because the bloke don’t get any HELP at all…you women get hand outs left right and centre on top of money bled from the ex, AND. She may have a very rich new partner and her kids will want for nothing, but the ex is still bled the same amount month in and yr in. Where the fucking fairness in that ?
    So shut your pie hole Julie dawn archer and go type your crap elsewhere where it will be appreciated
    Gonk

  • Lyse says:

    Just to set the record straight, I was married to my ex for 15 years, so hardly just spreading my legs! I left him as he was an abusive alcoholic who didn’t understand my sons problems (he has aspergers and ADHD) I had no support from him through my sons struggles and the final straw came when he suggested that he should be put in care. So now we’ve cleared that up I also work full time, pay my way in society paying all my rent and council tax so no hand outs there. So this is why I’m frustrated and angry. My ex has seen our son 3 times in 12 months and didn’t even bother with him at Xmas. The last time he saw him was for a mere 55 minutes. We made a mutual arrangement which was half of what the CSA advised. When it came to making the first payment he said he would decide if and when he pays. Hopefully that explains it in full to the woman haters on here. Every situation is different so please find out the facts before you are abusive to people.

  • jane says:

    I have had ten years of CSA crap but now there are 100% arrears and a LO in place, and hopefully will for a sale of house.

    But if your ex is not paying CM then he will get caught up with by arrears, a LO and charge on his house which they CAN force him to sell if necessary even if he has kids living with him.

    He is an asshole; just pay cm it would be so much easier for him let alone you and your child 🙂

    good luck

  • Peeved off says:

    Don’t hold your breath – 11years on and I still haven’t received a penny from my ex! Despite several ‘calculations’ over that time, money he was supposed to pay (which they never collected so I never got) been counted as income when I was at uni therefore loosing entitlement on housing benefit of £60 a week.
    Then this year we’ve had “you closed the case in 2009” no I didn’t and the date you say I did I was in hospital giving birth to my son. Then a letter stating my daughter lives with him (and I’ve had to prove she doesn’t), he’s seen her 16 times in 11years as snorting coke and the new bird are more important than his daughter.
    Finally thought I’d got somewhere with them collecting £119 a month arrears, was told on the phone this Monday they’d collected it and it had been sent to my account and would be there in the next few days so I thought fab, bought my daughter her new uniform for going back to school, today rent has bounced and no payment in from Csa so I called them to be told they’d informed me wrong and he’d recalled the direct debit and I shouldn’t rely on child support even if I did get informed by them that it was sent to me.
    How is this right? In 11 years they haven’t done a thing other than stress me! I’ve got in debt working my arse off and going through uni to provide a good life for myself and my kids and he gets away with it.
    Bring in the American system / old English system where they can get incarcerated for not supporting their children!
    I’m tempted to quit and go on benefits as I’d be better off financially and be there for my kids more instead of a childminder been paid for that privilege!
    Rant over

  • Gonk says:

    This is the problem Elyse
    FACTS and knowing them. People are not mind readers and will conclude on what they read. So don’t blame anyone for bad/negative comments but yourself.
    Should should tell the full story, show the whole picture which you seem to have done now but only after negative comments.
    If your ex was such a drunk and abusive and even suggested putting your son into care? Why on earth are you complaining about how often your ex makes an effort to see him ?
    I am not condoning any father that goes out of his way to avoid contributing in the upbringing of his kids. I object to the way the CSA and a lot of mothers treat the fathers and how unfair the system is towards fathers
    And Jane, your comments make me laugh. Yes and doesn’t your comment about the CSA forcing the sale of the house even with the kids living with him tell us all just how much the CSA gives a stuff about the kids…lol
    Gonk

  • Lyse says:

    Gonk, I complain that he is not interested in financially supporting his son, but also my son doesn’t know all the reasoning behind the situation, I have shielded him from some of his fathers comments as to involve him would be wrong and bitter. My only concern in all of this is my son. Yes I should probably in hindsight supplied more facts, but didn’t expect to come under such fire with out people asking for the full facts, naive I know. I am aware that there are many fathers out there given a tough time when they don’t deserve it, but also there are many that don’t man up to their responsibilities. In this case the system needs to change, to penalise the guilty but also be fair to the ones who are trying and making an effort. It frustrates me that some mothers do use their children as a weapon and a cash cow as it makes it harder for the genuinene cases.

  • Gonk says:

    @ peeved off
    You are in a minority and in most cases it’s the hard working honest Nrp that’s screwed into the ground by this unfair system. The deadbeat dads that go out of their way to avoid paying.the self employed NRP’s that submit false earnings to avoid paying, give the Nrp as a whole, a bad name. That said, I believe if this cm was collected more fairly then these people would not employ tactics as they do to avoid paying, so I somewhat condone what they do. It’s sad that some dads are forced to give up work in order to stop the relentless hemorrhaging of their salaries. Some will never go back to work because in doing so will put them in poverty because of these blood suckers and ( not all) mothers that see the ex as just a cash machine.
    Gonk

  • Gonk says:

    Lyse on June 5th, 2014 10:51 am
    Gonk, I complain that he is not interested in financially supporting his son, but also my son doesn’t know all the reasoning behind the situation, I have shielded him from some of his fathers comments as to involve him would be wrong and bitter. My only concern in all of this is my son. Yes I should probably in hindsight supplied more facts, but didn’t expect to come under such fire with out people asking for the full facts, naive I know. I am aware that there are many fathers out there given a tough time when they don’t deserve it, but also there are many that don’t man up to their responsibilities. In this case the system needs to change, to penalise the guilty but also be fair to the ones who are trying and making an effort. It frustrates me that some mothers do use their children as a weapon and a cash cow as it makes it harder for the genuinene cases.

    Lyse

  • Gonk says:

    Lyse
    Sorry. Hit the submit button too soon
    You seem very understanding of the NRP’s being unfairly treated here and I’m sorry for mentioning the facts. I read so many post on here where the author has jumped down commenters throats because of negative remarks born about purely because the facts are never spelled out in the original message, therefore people come to their own conclusions.
    Lastly I just want to bring up your comment about Responsibilities. I am very old fashioned and stuck in my attitude about what is a fair responsibility ?
    The way I see my situation is as far as I am concerned, I don’t or should not have any and because my wife decided to relieve me of a father / husband roll purely because she got bored of me and slept with another man during a dirty wk end away with him that I knew about but could do nothing about, despite my begging her not to do this,she still went ahead. I was left climbing the walls and baby sitting our 3 yr old.
    This guy went the extra mile to split up my family knowing we had only been wedd 9 months and had 2 young daughters, he flew from Germany to see her.
    In my mind he was as instrumental as she was to breaking us up. I never walked away from my responsibilities , I was pushed away and therefore having nothing to man up to. She wanted out and took my daughter away with her. He wanted my wife and therefore takes on the responsibility of looking after them…their choice..not mine.
    But I have the salt rubbed in my wounds by now being expected to pay for this privilege. It’s wrong. If I had my way. She would not get a penny from me, instead I would set up a trust fund for my daughter where at least I ensure she gets every penny from me. Alternatively, my ex and her partner should pay for my daughters everyday needs, ie, food,roof, and general needs. I should be able as my right under the circumstances, spend my money on luxury items…ie.. School trips,holidays, designer cloths, computers,new telly for her room etc etc. give her cash for nights out at the cinema. Anything that isn’t classed as essentials, I would provide. That’s fair I think, at least both parents are contributing.
    Gonk

  • Lyse says:

    Gonk, I am very sorry to here your sad story, and yes I agree with your comments on your situation. The “man up” bit was never aimed at you. Your daughter has a loving father, and she is very lucky unfortunately my son doesn’t have that luxury. I just wish his dad would pay up so my son could at least have the luxury of a few more of the nice things in life. I can just about survive day to day but would be nice to do a family holiday etc or even buy him some of the latest gadgets his friends have. I have no wish to financially ruin my ex husband, but if he’s unwilling to cooperate with our mutual agreement that was significantly less than the CSA wanted then I think I have given him every chance. Good luck with you daughter

  • Gonk says:

    Lyse
    Thanks for the kind words. Yes indeed I have no problem contributing towards my daughter but wish to choose how, I object to beintodo tasted to by a government agency and telling me how I should look after my daughter. Sadly this agency came about because of deadbeat dads, but now it uses the easy targets on the paye system to screw hard to make up the figs and justify their existence.
    Did you know the CS2 is being phased out and CS3 phased in, first 50 thou letters, closing claims went out a few wks ago. The idea behind it is to make parents come to their own arrangements without involving the CSA, they will still be in the back ground monitoring and will only step in if the Nrp defaults or starts pissing around with payments. So the CMS which it will be now known as, will assess the Nrp and advise him what payments he should make, the pwc will have no say in the matter if the CSA see no reason why the Nrp should not pay under a private arrangement. If the CSA have to step in to take payment ? Then they will charge for the service in future. The Nrp will be charged 20% on top of monthly payments and the pwc will lose 4% of what she receives each month.
    So your ex should take note. I suspect giving his history and track record, the CSA won’t allow him a private arrangement anyway, and charge him 20% on top of his payments. I am not sure if this will effect any payment you receive, I heard that the charge is only levied on the person be obstructive in making a private arrangement?
    Gonk

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